According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Baby Girl Dies After Being Left in Hot Car Just Two Months After She Was Adopted By a San Diego Couple
A heartbreaking incident has unfolded in Santee, San Diego, where a baby girl lost her life after being left in the back of a hot car. This tragic event occurred just two months after her adoptive parents brought her home. Is hot car death common?
Discovery and Emergency Response Into The Hot Car Death – An Ongoing Investigation
Diana Sofia Aleman Roman, the infant victim, was found unresponsive in the SUV parked outside her family’s home around 12:20 AM on June 13. The child had been left in the vehicle for several hours in 63°F weather before a family member discovered her and immediately called 911.
Despite being rushed to Sharp Grossmont Hospital, Diana could not be saved. The San Diego County Sheriff’s Office is actively investigating the circumstances that led to Diana being forgotten in the car and determining who was responsible. As of now, no charges have been filed.
The Dangers of Hot Cars – a Tragic Hot Car Death
Studies highlight the rapid rise in temperature inside a parked car. On a 70°F day, the temperature inside a car can soar to 104°F within just half an hour. Reaching 115°F in an hour. The human body’s organs begin to shut down at 107°F, making such environments lethal, especially for children.
Adoption and Family Background – A Loving Family
Diana was welcomed into the home of Romer and Jayson De Los Santos on April 11, after they traveled to Arizona to meet her in the hospital. Heartwarming photos captured the couple cradling Diana and introducing her to their two-year-old son, who was also adopted. Romer expressed his grief after the hot car death, writing, “I haven’t slept in days,” next to one of the photos.
The De Los Santos family had been actively seeking to adopt a second child, sharing their adoption profile on social media in November. They expressed their desire to provide a loving home filled with cherished memories. Special moments such as beach outings, biking to the park, and raising foster kittens. Romer, a senior consultant at Jama Software, and Jayson, a stay-at-home dad, have been together for over 20 years. They married in 2008 during a brief period when same-sex marriage was legal in California. Their home is described as a “zoo,” housing numerous pets including cats, dogs, chickens, and parakeets.
Community Reaction
Neighbors described the De Los Santos family as kind and attentive parents often seen playing outside with their children. One neighbor said, “They seem like a nice family who wanted to give a couple of kids a good life. It’s just a shame it didn’t turn out that way.” It seems many suggested that the hot car death wasn’t intentional.
Medical Examination and Broader Context
The San Diego County Medical Examiner’s Office will determine the cause and manner of Diana’s death. Annually, around 37 children die from being left in hot cars across the U.S. Since 1998, California has witnessed at least 56 such fatalities, according to statistics from San Jose State University’s No Heat Stroke project.
Preventive Measures and Legal Implications & Expert Insights
Parents are urged never to leave their children alone in vehicles, even for short periods. Temperatures can rise dangerously fast, posing severe risks to children who cannot regulate their body temperatures as efficiently as adults. Which can effectively cause hot car death. California law imposes a $100 fine for leaving a child under six in a car under hazardous conditions. With potential charges ranging from neglect to manslaughter depending on the outcome.
Experts explain that it’s possible for any parent to forget a child in a car, especially when distracted or following routine habits. The increase in such cases since the 1990s is partly attributed to the recommendation of placing child car seats in the back, out of sight to protect them from airbags.
Recommendations for Prevention
To avoid such tragedies, No Heat Stroke suggests placing a soft toy in the front seat as a reminder of the child in the back or placing essential items next to the child’s seat. They also recommend keeping vehicles locked at all times and teaching children never to play in cars.
The loss of Diana Sofia Aleman Roman serves as a stark reminder of the dangers associated with leaving children unattended in vehicles and the importance of vigilant parenting practices. Hot-car tragedies can happen to anyone due to human memory lapses.
Here are key strategies to prevent these incidents:
Create Safeguards: Establish agreements with child-care providers to notify each other if a child is absent or late. Set phone reminders to ensure the child has been dropped off.
Secure Vehicles: Always keep vehicles locked and keys out of children’s reach.
Visual Reminders: Place the child’s items, such as a diaper bag or jacket, in the front seat as a reminder.
Back-Seat Checks: Keep essential items like your backpack or briefcase in the back seat to prompt a check before leaving the car.
Never Leave Children Unattended: Never leave a child alone in a vehicle, regardless of the outside temperature.
Technological Solutions & Expert Advice:
Invest in car seats or vehicles with integrated reminder technology, such as SensorSafe. Systems that default to “on” are most effective. Use education and technology together to prevent these tragedies. Real-life experiences, like that of Jennifer Stockburger, highlight the importance of these precautions. Combining awareness with practical strategies and technology can protect children from hot-car incidents.
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