According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
‘I’m in charge here!’ A wealthy man makes a flight attendant cry, but an elderly woman steps in and puts him in his place
Karl’s company was about to move to new heights, and this only reinforced his growing arrogance. However, after mistreating an air hostess on his flight to a life-changing meeting, Karl is finally humbled.
Karl was a middle-aged man well on his way to the big leagues. His company was about to become a subsidiary of a large multinational corporation.
Karl came from humble beginnings and had worked all of his life to finally get to this point in his career. He was set to travel to Chicago to sign his deal, and he was over the moon.
Karl had long awaited this moment, and he was set on enjoying it as much as he possibly could. He got himself a business-class ticket to celebrate his new venture.
His newfound success was beginning to go to his head, and Karl became a little reckless with his behavior and how he treated people. As he sat in his business-class seat, he pompously took in the view that surrounded him. This was his first time in business class.
“It’s about to be one hell of a celebration,” he said to the man sitting next to him.
“Oh, really!? What are we celebrating?” the man asked.
“I’m on my way to Chicago to sign the contract of a lifetime. This is definitely a champagne moment,” a cheerful Karl explains.
“Oh wow. That’s great. I’m happy for you,” the man said.
“What is this? The audacity! You take thirty minutes to bring me my champagne, and it’s warm!? Are you serious?”
“Hey! A chilled bottle of your best champagne!” Karl barked to the air hostess, snapping his fingers rather rudely.
“No problem, sir. I’ll attend to you in a second,” the air hostess kindly responded.
Thirty minutes went by, and Karl became agitated because he still hadn’t received his order. The air hostess finally came with Karl’s champagne, and Karl was not pleased at all.
“So? What took you so long? I’ve been waiting for about half an hour?” Karl barked at the air hostess.
“I’m so sorry about that, sir. I had to handle something in economy class,” the air hostess calmly responded.
“What is this? The audacity! You take thirty minutes to bring me my champagne, and it’s warm!? Are you serious?” Karl snapped, shoving the champagne bottle to the floor.
“I’m sorry, sir! I just—” the air hostess nervously started before being interrupted by a further agitated Karl.
“Stop with the excuses! Just do your job! I am your boss here! You understand?” Karl barked, the rest of the passengers now looking on at his spectacle.
As he was going off at the air hostess, who did her best to hold back her tears, an elderly woman, Anna, stepped into the business class cubicles. Karl was astonished to see the Chief Executive Officer for the very company he was about to sign to. Anna went straight to the air hostess and greeted her warmly.
“Thank you for what you did for me,” Anna said.
“It’s no problem. It was my pleasure,” the air hostess said, feigning a smile as she wiped her tears.
“Why are you crying?” Anna asked, concerned. Karl uncomfortably shifted to the side as the air hostess turned to look at him, with Anna following.
“Well, I think you should apologize to this young lady.”
“Uhm… Just… I just had a little disagreement with this gentleman here. That’s all,” the air hostess said, trying her best to conceal her hurt and frustration.
“Karl? What are the chances of us being on the same flight?” Anna said, shocked to see Karl and curious about what role he had to play in the air hostess’s sudden sadness.
“Uhm… Anna, yes, it’s a surprise to see you here. Why are you in economy class?” Karl hesitantly asked.
“Well, it saves me money to give to charity and other worthwhile causes. And you? Why are you making this woman’s job more difficult than it has to be? I heard you all the way from my section,” Anna said.
“Uhm… No, it’s just that she took forever to bring me my champagne, and it was warm when it arrived. Poor service delivery,” Karl said, sticking to his arrogance.
“Well, I think you should apologize to this young lady. While you were waiting on your champagne, I had an asthma attack, and she was kind enough to drop everything and attend to me. She saved my life,” Anna explained to Karl rather firmly and with conviction.
“Saved you?” a confused Karl asked.
“Yes, that’s what held up your champagne. I’m sorry about that. But don’t be so rash as to call out people on doing their job when you don’t understand the full scope of things. Take this as advice from someone who would’ve been your boss,” Anna said.
“Uhm… ‘Would’ve,’ ma’am?” Karl nervously asked.
“Karl… I have lots of money, but what would I do with them if my life was in the hands of the stewardess today? Never put yourself above other people. You may need their help. Anyways, we’ll conclude this conversation in Chicago,” Anna coldly said before turning to the air hostess with a smile. “And thank you again, my dear.”
“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have treated you like that,” Karl said to the air hostess.
“It’s okay,” she responded.
Anna walked out of the business class section, leaving Karl completely perplexed. Karl became nervous about his contract when their flight finally landed in Chicago.
As fate would have it, Anna retracted the offer to Karl’s company, and the deal never ended up happening.
What can we learn from this story?
Never put yourself above others. Karl’s arrogance made him treat people wrongly, but it worked against him in the end.
Kindness goes a long way. The air hostess dropped everything to help Anna, and her kindness brought Anna to her defense later when Karl was mistreating her.
Tell us what you think, and share this story with your friends. It might inspire them and brighten their day.
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