According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
In her youth, Hollywood celebrated her as a true beauty: With her flowing blonde hair and striking blue eyes, the actress was considered one of the most beautiful stars in the film industry
Kathleen Turner rose to fame in the 1980s, known for her captivating presence and beauty. Many consider her to be one of Hollywood’s most impressive actresses, and her resilience has helped her navigate the ups and downs of her career and personal life.
Growing up in a family of four, Kathleen faced hardships from an early age, including the sudden death of her father while mowing the lawn in Hampstead. Just a month later, her family was forced to leave the UK and moved to Springfield, Missouri, where she continued to grieve.
As an adult, Kathleen found solace in New York while pursuing acting. At first she enjoyed stage work, but her big break came in 1981 with the role of a femme fatale in “Body Heat”. A few years later, she co-starred with Michael Douglas in “Romancing the Stone”, where the chemistry between them sparked romantic feelings, even though Douglas was separated from his wife at the time.
Kathleen married real estate developer Jay Weiss in 1984 and they had their daughter Rachel Ann in 1987. However, their marriage faced challenges as they raised their child. Kathleen felt the pressure of balancing work and family, which led to feelings of guilt and oppression.
In 2005, he starred in the Broadway revival of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” Their marital problems worsened. Eventually, the couple divorced amicably and Kathleen received a Tony Award nomination for her role in the play.
She had a successful film career in the 1980s and received an Oscar nomination for “Peggy Sue Got Married”. However, the 1990s brought health problems when Kathleen developed rheumatoid arthritis, which caused severe pain and limited her mobility. She found herself in an identity crisis and questioned her future as an actress.
She initially turned to drugs and alcohol to cope, but after a short stay in rehab, she found that her problems were manageable with better medication tracking. Today, she practices yoga and Pilates to stay active and manage her pain.
As she grew older, Kathleen focused more on theater and returned to her roots. In her forties, she acted in productions such as Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. She also devoted herself to causes she believed in, such as volunteering for Amnesty International and Planned Parenthood.
A lifelong feminist, Kathleen Turner uses her platform to empower women and support them on their journey to independence. Her philosophies are highlighted in Gloria Feldt’s 2008 memoir, Send Yourself Roses, where she reflects on women’s empowerment. What do you think about Kathleen Turner’s inspiring journey? Share it in the comments!
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