Oh, the pleasures of family dynamics; those complex networks of affection, animosity, and, it seems, rent. What if I told you a small story from the front lines of my own soap opera to start things off?
Imagine this: Dad recently passed away and went to the great beyond, leaving Mom sad and alone. So, of course, I propose that she move in with us, partly out of compassion and partly out of sheer guilt. You know, to socialize with the grandchildren and take in the warmth of family.
Now enter my spouse, who has obviously been attending the “How to Be a Loving Family Man” course. His initial response was a firm no, but after some deft haggling on my part, he reluctantly agreed—but only under one condition. The worst part, get ready: my distraught mother would have to pay the rent.
You did really read correctly. Pay rent. in a home that we currently own and are not renting. Start the crying or laughing. His logic? He replied, grinning in a way that I can only characterize as evil, “Your mother is a leech.” “After she moves in with us, she won’t go.”
His reasoning continued, a train on the loose about to crash down a precipice. She simply doesn’t make sense to utilize anything for free when she will consume our food and electricity. This residence is not a hotel, and she has to know that!
With my blood boiling, I knew something was wrong. The reason for this issue is that I wedded a man who seemed to believe he was the Ritz-Carlton’s management. How daring! Here we are, with equal rights to the house, having both contributed to its acquisition, and he’s enacting capitalist regulations as if we were operating a profit-making Airbnb.
The worst part is that my spouse isn’t a horrible person. Really, no. He and my mother have simply disagreed from the beginning. He told me the truth about how he really felt the night he turned into Mr. Rent Collector. “Ever since I met her, your mother has detested me. She wouldn’t feel at ease living with me right now.
I am therefore torn between my mother, who is in great need of her daughter’s support, and my husband, whom I really love despite his imperfections. I ask you, dear reader, the million-dollar question: What should I do? In true dramatic manner. Shall I rent my mother a room or my husband’s empathy?
Funny story : A man on a fLight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom
A man on a fIight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the door, it was occupied.
A stewardess noticed his predicament and told him, I’ll let you use the ladies’ room, but on one condition – don’t touch the buttons on the wall! The man breathed a sigh of reIief while sitting on the toilet, and his attention drifted to the buttons on the wall. The buttons were marked “WW, WA, PP and ATR”.
Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.
He carefully pressed the first button marked “WW” and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, Wow, this is strangeIy pleasant, women really have it made!
Still curious, he pressed the button marked “WA” and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters.
This is amazing!” he thought, Men’s rooms having nothing like this! He then pressed the button marked “PP”, which yielded a large powder puff that delicately appIied a soft talc to his rear.
Well, naturally he couldn’t resist the last button marked “ATR”, and then everything went black. When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, “What happened to me?! The last thing I remember, I was in the Iadies’ room on a plane!
The nurse replied, Yes, I’m sure you were having a great time until you pressed the ‘ATR’ button, which stands for ‘Automatic Tampon Remover.’
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