Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Poor Man Houses Family in His Old Trailer during Storm, Finds Dozen of Boxes near Home Next Day – Story of the Day
Adam and his family sit down for dinner with the radio on—only to be interrupted by a severe weather warning. As the night progresses, the storm worsens, forcing the family to take refuge in the dilapidated trailer in their yard.
Adam took out bowls from the cabinet to set the table for dinner. In their modest kitchen, Maggie, his wife, was perfecting a fish stew on their two-plate stove.
“Parsley with fish stew, yes or no?” she asked.
“Yes, my mom used either parsley or coriander,” Adam replied.
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Maggie reached for the parsley in the yellow pot on the windowsill. She loved growing her herbs and vegetables. She called it her weekend hobby. But Adam knew the real reason was that they would always have some fresh vegetables she could cook for their meals. That way, their family would always have food.
He set the table and took out some bread, listening to the laughter from the kids’ room.
Adam smiled, then winced, remembering his twisted ankle from work. He worried about his boots that had landed in a puddle of water at the construction site; he needed them dry for work, or he’d be in the office room, doing paperwork, and face reduced hours and pay. He also needed to buy Maggie’s epilepsy medication.
“Dinner is ready. Can you get the kids?” Maggie asked, distracting him from his thoughts.
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“Of course. Maybe we can listen to some music during dinner?”
Maggie smiled and turned on the radio.
In the kids’ room, Emma, 8, was lying on her bed, and Charlie, 5, was coloring a dinosaur drawing.
“Did Emma draw that?” Adam asked Charlie.
“I did, Dad,” Emma said, sitting upright. “I finished my homework early and drew it for Charlie so he can color it.”
Adam praised her effort and called them to dinner, reminding them to wash their hands first.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
In the kitchen, Maggie had served the stew and bread. She lit two candles, making the simple setup a little special for their children. Adam watched her steady herself against a chair.
“Are you okay, Mommy?” Emma asked as she sat down.
“I am,” Maggie replied. “It’s just been a very long day, and I’m ready for bed.” She went back into the kitchen to get a pitcher of water.
“But you have to eat first, Mommy!” Charlie said, breaking off a piece of bread.
“And that’s exactly what Mom is going to do,” Adam said firmly. The last time she skipped a meal, her blood pressure had dropped so low that Adam had to take her to the clinic.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“Are you okay?” he asked Maggie.
“I just feel this intense pressure in my head,” she said. “The last time this happened, there was that huge storm. So, we’re probably going to get a storm tonight. That’s all.”
Adam believed her–after Maggie was diagnosed with epilepsy, she had read most of the books in the town’s library related to it. And since then, she has become really good at managing it. If Adam had to think about it, she had very few seizures since she started her epilepsy research.
“But you’re feeling fine, otherwise?”
“Yes. I’ll just have to be careful if there’s any lightning, that’s all,” she said, returning to the table.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash
“So, tell us about school,” Maggie asked the kids as she sat down.
“I have an upcoming science project. We can make a tornado or a volcano,” Emma said.
“Dad, how do we make a tornado?” she asked Adam.
“We could try to make a structure out of steel wool,” he suggested. He always enjoyed doing projects with the kids.
As they ate, rain began, and the radio’s music was interrupted by a severe weather warning.
“A tornado warning is in effect…take cover immediately. Stay indoors. Do not go outside. Keep windows closed shut. This is a dangerous and unpredictable situation, folks.”
Maggie and Adam exchanged worried glances, concerned about their weak roof.
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“Dad, what’s happening?” Emma asked.
“There’s a storm warning, but we’re prepared,” Maggie told Emma.
They finished dinner in silence.
***
Adam looked outside the kitchen window at the intensifying rain. “At least my head predicted this one,” Maggie quipped, washing dishes.
Adam was concerned about the roof and his ankle pain.
“We’ll be fine, Adam,” Maggie said, noticing his worried expression. “We just need to keep the children calm.”
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Adam glanced outside again, noting the worsening weather conditions. He needed to hold a family meeting immediately.
***
“Okay, family meeting,” Adam said, sitting beside his children. “We’re going to sleep in our clothes tonight, not pajamas.”
“Why?” Charlie asked.
“You heard the weatherman,” Adam replied. “We need to be ready for anything.”
“Exactly,” Maggie added.
A few hours later, Maggie and Adam had gotten the children into their most comfortable but warm clothes and were asleep in their bedroom. Maggie wanted the whole family to sleep in one room.
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Adam awoke in the middle of the night and walked around the house. The power had gone out a while ago, so he used his old, reliable flashlight. He was grateful for the fact that Maggie was asleep with the children as well. He wasn’t sure how they would handle Maggie having a seizure at this moment when the thunder and lightning had started.
As Adam stepped into the children’s bedroom, he could hear dripping. He raised his flashlight at the ceiling and noticed a growing leak. “Damn it,” he muttered, placing a bucket under the leak. But the situation was bad. The roof could collapse at any moment.
Waking Maggie, he showed her the worsening situation. “We have to get out, right?” Maggie asked, alarmed.
“I’ll clear out the trailer,” Adam decided as Maggie gathered food and water.
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Adam braved the storm to reach the trailer, struggling against the wind and rain. Once inside, he began preparing it as a temporary shelter.
Adam had received the run-down trailer from a friend. He wanted to fix it for family road trips but didn’t have the money for it. Over time, the trailer became storage for tools and miscellaneous items.
While trying to make space for his family, Adam noticed the mold inside the trailer. He didn’t want to bring his kids into such an environment, but he didn’t have a choice. His ankle pain worsened due to the rain and cold, but he kept going.
Meanwhile, Maggie watched him clear the clutter from their trailer. She knew he was in pain from a swollen ankle. When Adam returned, they awoke Emma and Charlie and rushed to the trailer.
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Adam, shielding Emma from the rain, led the way. Maggie followed with Charlie. Adam then returned to the house for towels, clothes, and other necessities.
In the trailer, Maggie made the beds while Emma and Charlie watched the storm.
“Come here,” she called them.
“When Dad comes,” Emma said, pouting.
Maggie couldn’t blame them. Although the house was just across the lawn, having been in the wind and rain had made them realize the severity of the situation.
***
“There he is!” Emma exclaimed as Adam returned, soaked.
Adam, in pain, struggled with his boots. Maggie helped him take them off, wishing she could do more. The family settled in as the storm raged.
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After his family fell asleep, Adam watched their house succumb to the storm. There was nothing he could do to save their home. Seated in the driver’s seat, he dozed off.
The next morning, the rain was gone, and the sun shone brightly. Adam and Maggie looked out of the trailer at their damaged home.
“We’ll fix it,” Adam reassured Maggie, despite financial worries.
“Where is the roof?” Emma asked, seeing the damage.
“It was the storm, honey,” Adam explained.
“Adam, what’s that?” Maggie asked, pointing to a pile of boxes sitting right next to the trailer door, covered by a tarp.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash
Adam opened the boxes one by one and found water, food, and essentials. He even found painkillers in one of the boxes.
Meanwhile, Maggie found a message among the supplies, and it read:
“The library was untouched by the storm. Come here when you’re ready,” it said.
Deciding to investigate, the family walked to the library. When they arrived, they saw people milling around. Inside were tables set up with different items if people needed them. There was a play area for kids, too.
“I was so worried,” Diane, Maggie’s friend and the librarian, said as she approached them. “I heard that your side of town was hit the most by the storm!”
“It was pretty bad,” Maggie told her. “We stayed in the trailer until it calmed down. But we saw that most of our roof had caved in this morning.”
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“Oh no!” Diane exclaimed, clutching Maggie’s hand.
“I’m going to take the kids to the play area,” Adam told them and took them away.
“Adam is really stressed out by the whole thing,” Maggie said.
“I understand,” Diane told her. “Did you get the boxes?”
“That was you?” Maggie asked, holding onto her hand tighter.
“Yes, but I asked my son to drop it off because I had to set up here,” Diane explained.
“Thank you, Di,” Maggie said.
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Maggie’s eyes welled up. Having someone looking out for them meant that Maggie and Adam could take a moment to breathe. They could sit back knowing their children were safe in the library, surrounded by adults and other children in the same situation. And for that, Maggie was grateful.
“Listen, I know you’re probably stressed about where to go,” Diane said. “But you must know that my home is open to your family. And it’s not just a temporary place until you find something else. You can stay for as long as you need, Maggie. I mean it.”
Maggie nodded and pulled Diane into a hug.
“I wouldn’t know how to thank you,” Maggie said against Diane’s hair.
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“You could help me cook,” Diane said, grinning. “You know I hate cooking.”
Maggie laughed.
Meanwhile, Emma and Charlie found other children from their school and ran to play in the library area dedicated to them. Adam stood alone, watching them and grinning when a nurse approached him.
“Sir, do you need anything?” she asked.
“Uh,” he paused. “Actually, yes. My ankle,” he said. “I twisted it at work yesterday, and I’ve been on my feet ever since. Do you think you can look at it?”
“Of course, come with me,” she said.
Adam let himself be led by the nurse to another corner of the library where the medical supplies were. She examined his ankle.
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“Oh, boy,” she said. “This must hurt.”
“Like hell,” he agreed.
After the nurse had taken care of Adam’s ankle, she released him with strict instructions. “I know you want to get to your wife and children, fine. But find them and sit down,” she said.
Adam thanked her and left.
When he found Maggie, she was sipping on some tea with Diane.
“Adam, Diane brought the boxes,” she said.
“Diane,” he said, sitting down next to them. “Thank you. But how can we repay you?”
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“By staying with me until your home is sorted. My son is leaving to return to university on Monday, so I’ll be alone again. Your family will bring my home some joy.”
Adam smiled and took her hand. “Thank you,” he said. “Truly.”
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