For weeks, my neighbor’s underpants stole the spotlight outside my 8-year-old son’s window. When he naively questioned if her thongs were slingshots, I decided it was time to put an end to this panty parade and teach her a valuable lesson in laundry etiquette.
Ah, suburbia! The grass is usually greener on the other side, mostly because your neighbor’s sprinkler system is superior to yours. That’s where I, Thompson’s wife Kristie, opted to establish roots with my 8-year-old son Jake. Life was as smooth as a freshly botoxed forehead until Lisa, our new neighbor, came in next door.
It began on Tuesday. I remember because it was wash day, and I was folding a mountain of tiny superhero underwear, courtesy of Jake’s recent obsession.
Looking out his bedroom window, I almost choked on my coffee. A pair of hot pink, lace underwear flew in the breeze like the world’s most indecent flag.
And they were not alone. Oh no, they were not alone — a full rainbow of underpants was dancing in the breeze in front of my son’s window.
“Holy guacamole,” I muttered, dropping a pair of Batman briefs. “Is this a laundry line or Victoria’s Secret runway?”
Jake’s voice piped up behind me, “Mom, why does Mrs. Lisa have her underwear outside?”
My face burned hotter than my malfunctioning dryer. “Uh, sweetie. Mrs. Lisa just… really likes fresh air. Why don’t we close these curtains, huh? Give the laundry some privacy.”
“But Mom,” Jake persisted, his eyes wide with innocent curiosity, “if Mrs. Lisa’s underwear likes fresh air, shouldn’t mine go outside too? Maybe my Hulk undies could make friends with her pink ones!”
I held back a laugh that threatened to blossom into a wild sob. “Honey, your underwear is… shy. It prefers to stay inside where it’s cozy.”
As I ushered Jake out, I couldn’t resist thinking, “Welcome to the neighborhood, Kristie. Hope you brought your sense of humor and a sturdy pair of curtains.”
Days stretched into weeks, and Lisa’s laundry service became as routine as my daily coffee, and as welcoming as a cold cup of coffee with a splash of curdled milk.
Every day, a new set of panties appeared outside my son’s window, and I found myself playing the awkward game of “shield the child’s eyes.”
One afternoon, while I was cooking a snack in the kitchen, Jake burst in, his face etched with bewilderment and eagerness, making my mom-sense prickle with fear.
“Mom,” he started, in that tone that always preceded a question I wasn’t prepared for, “why does Mrs. Lisa have so many different colored underwear? And why are some of them so small? With strings? Are they for her pet hamster?”
I almost dropped the knife I was using to spread peanut butter, picturing Lisa’s response at being told her delicates were rodent-sized.
“Well, honey,” I stammered, buying time, “everyone has different preferences for their clothes. Even the ones we don’t usually see.”
Jake nodded sagely as if I’d imparted some great wisdom. “So, it’s like how I like my superhero underwear, but grown-up? Does Mrs. Lisa fight crime at night? Is that why her underwear is so small? For aerodynamics?”
I choked on air, caught between laughter and horror. “Uh, not exactly, sweetie. Mrs. Lisa isn’t a superhero. She’s just very confident.”
“Oh,” Jake replied, little disappointed. Then his face brightened up again.
“But Mom, if Mrs. Lisa can hang her underwear outside, can I hang mine too? I bet my Captain America boxers would look super cool flapping in the wind!”
“Sorry, buddy,” I said, ruffling his hair. “Your underwear is special. It needs to stay hidden to, uh, protect your secret identity.”
As Jake nodded and munched on his lunch, I looked out the window at Lisa’s colorful underwear display.
This could not continue on. It was time to talk with our exhibitionist neighbor. ?.
The following day, I marched over to Lisa’s place.
I rang the doorbell, flashing my best “concerned neighbor” smile, the same one I use to assure the HOA that “no, my garden gnomes are not offensive, they’re whimsical.”
Lisa responded, appearing as if she had just come out of a shampoo advertisement.
“Oh, hi there! Kristie, right?” she frowned.
“That’s right! Listen, Lisa, I hoped we could chat about something.”
She leaned against the doorframe, eyebrow raised. “Oh? What’s on your mind? Need to borrow a cup of sugar? Or maybe a cup of confidence?” She glanced pointedly at my mom jeans and oversized t-shirt.
I took a deep breath and reminded myself that jail orange is not my color. “It’s about your laundry. Specifically, where you hang it.”
Lisa’s flawlessly groomed brows furrowed. “My laundry? What about it? Is it too fashion-forward for the neighborhood?”
“Well, it’s just that it’s right in front of my son’s window. The, um, underwear especially. It’s a bit exposing. Jake’s starting to ask questions. Yesterday, he asked if your thongs were slingshots.”
“Oh, honey. They’re just clothes! It’s not like I’m hanging up nuclear launch codes. Although, between you and me, my leopard print bikini bottoms are pretty explosive!”
I felt my eye twitch. “I understand, but Jake is only eight. He’s curious. This morning, he asked if he could hang his Superman undies next to your, uh, ‘crime-fighting gear’.”
“Well, then, sounds like a perfect opportunity for some education. You’re welcome! I’m practically running a public service here. And why should I care about your son? It’s my yard. Toughen up!”
“Excuse me?”
Lisa waved her hand dismissively. “Listen, if you’re that bothered by a few pairs of panties, maybe you need to loosen up. It’s my yard, my rules. Deal with it. Or better yet, buy some cuter underwear. I could give you some tips if you’d like.”
And with that, she slammed the door in my face, leaving me standing there with my mouth open, likely gathering flies.
I was stunned. “Oh, it is ON,” I muttered, turning on my heel. “You want to play dirty laundry? Game on, Lisa. Game. On.” ?
That night, I sat at my sewing machine.
Yards of the most gaudy, eye-searing cloth I could locate sat before me. It was the type of cloth that could be seen from space and perhaps even attract alien life forms!
“You think your little lacy numbers are something to see, Lisa?” I muttered, feeding the fabric through the machine. “Wait till you get a load of this. E.T. will phone home about these babies.”
After hours, I finished creating the world’s largest and most irritating pair of granny panties. ?
They were large enough to serve as a parachute, loud enough to be heard from space, and just insignificant enough to prove my argument.
If Lisa’s underwear was a whisper, mine was a fabric-covered foghorn.
That afternoon, as soon as I saw Lisa’s car leave her driveway, I sprung into action.
With my improvised clothesline and gigantic flamingo underpants ready, I dashed across our lawns, ducking between plants and lawn ornaments.
With the coast clear, I hung my handiwork just in front of Lisa’s living room window. Stepping back to examine my work, I couldn’t help but smile.
The enormous flamingo undies fluttered gloriously in the afternoon air. They were so enormous that a family of four could certainly use them as a tent while camping.
“Take that, Lisa,” I whispered, scurrying back home. “Let’s see how you like a taste of your own medicine. Hope you brought your sunglasses, because it’s about to get BRIGHT in the neighborhood.”
Back at home, I took up a position beside the window. I felt like a kid waiting for Santa, but instead of gifts, I was waiting for Lisa to uncover my small surprise.
The minutes passed like hours.
Just as I was wondering if Lisa had chosen to turn her errands into a surprise holiday, I heard the familiar sound of her car approaching the driveway.
It’s show time.
Lisa stepped outside, arms full of shopping bags, and froze. Her mouth dropped so quickly, I thought it could detach. The bags slid from her fingers, scattering their contents across the driveway.
I swear I spotted a pair of polka-dot panties rolling across the yard. Lisa, you are so classy.
“WHAT THE HELL…??” she screeched, loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. “Is that a parachute? Did the circus come to town?”
I burst into laughter. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I watched Lisa dash up to the enormous undies and grab at them futilely. It was like witnessing a chihuahua attempt to take down a Great Dane.
Composing myself, I strolled outside. “Oh, hi Lisa! Doing some redecorating? I love what you’ve done with the place. Very avant-garde.”
She whirled on me, face as pink as the undies of my creation. “You! You did this! What is wrong with you? Are you trying to signal aircraft?”
I shrugged. “Just hanging out some laundry. Isn’t that what neighbors do? I thought we were starting a trend.”
“This isn’t laundry!” Lisa shrieked, gesturing wildly at the undies. “This is… this is…”
“A learning opportunity?” I suggested sweetly. “You know, for the neighborhood kids. Jake was very curious about the aerodynamics of underwear. I thought a practical demonstration might help.”
Lisa’s mouth expanded and closed, like a fish out of water. Finally, she sputtered, “Take. It. Down.”
I tapped my chin thoughtfully. “Hmm, I don’t know. I kind of like the breeze it’s getting. Really airs things out, you know? Plus, I think it’s bringing the property values up. Nothing says ‘classy neighborhood’ like giant novelty underwear.”
For a moment, I thought Lisa might spontaneously combust. Then, to my surprise, her shoulders sagged. “Fine,” she said through gritted teeth. “You win. I’ll move my laundry. Just… please, take this monstrosity down. My retinas are burning.”
I chuckled, extending my hand. “Deal. But I have to say, I think flamingos are your color.”
As we shook on it, I couldn’t help but add, “By the way, Lisa? Welcome to the neighborhood. We’re all a little crazy here. Some of us just hide it better than others.”
Lisa’s laundry has been missing from the clothesline in front of Jake’s window since that day. She never addressed it again, and I never had to cope with her “life lessons” either.
And me? Let’s just say I now have a really unusual set of curtains made of flamingo fabric. Don’t waste, don’t want, right?
Jake was slightly bummed that the “underwear slingshots” were no longer available. But I informed him that sometimes being a superhero entails keeping your undergarments a secret. What if he ever sees huge flamingo undies flying through the sky? Mom is protecting the neighborhood with outrageous pranks! ?
Julia Roberts’ Daughter Made Her Rare Appearance, but People Keep Noticing One Detail
Julia Roberts, the famous Hollywood actress, likes to keep her personal life, especially her three kids, out of the spotlight. She and her husband welcomed twins Hazel and Phinnaeus in 2004. Three years later, their son Henry was born. Though they are quite private, Julia and Daniel Moder sometimes share small glimpses of their family life with fans. This time, many fans couldn’t help but notice a particular detail about Hazel’s appearance.
Hazel made her red carpet debut at the Cannes Film Festival in 2021.
Julia Roberts’s 19-year-old daughter Hazel is stepping into the spotlight just like her mom. In 2021, she joined her dad, Daniel Moder, at the premiere of Flag Day. It’s a drama directed by and starring Sean Penn, which also features his daughter, Dylan Frances Penn, in a lead role. Daniel Moder served as the film’s cinematographer, and his daughter decided to support him on the red carpet.
At the premiere, Hazel shined in a long yellow button-up dress paired with black Mary-Jane shoes, while her dad looked sharp in a classic black suit.
Fans couldn’t help but notice a particular detail about Hazel.
Fans noticed how much Hazel resembles her mom, Julia Roberts.
With her radiant smile and striking features, Hazel looks like a younger version of the famous actress. Many pointed out the uncanny resemblance, noting that Hazel has clearly inherited her mom’s charm and elegance.
Roberts is raising her kids to have less reliance on technology.
Julia Roberts has always been protective of her children’s privacy, rarely posting pictures of them on social media. She values real-life connections with her family, away from phones and technology. In her house, one rule is to put phones away, especially during meals. “We just had sort of simple rules where we had a charging station where everyone’s phones go when you get home. There’s no phones at the table,” Julia shared in 2023.
In the interview, she said that being at home “with kids and no devices” actually “sounds like a good time” to her. Julia explained that she raised her kids to not be overly dependent on technology, reminiscing about the days “when you couldn’t get ahold of people, or they couldn’t get ahold of you.”
“I think of a family coming together at the end of the day, and you actually have things to talk about at dinner because you haven’t been in contact all day long a hundred times or a busy signal,” she said.
The actress is a proud mom of college students.
Hazel and Phinnaeus are both in college now, and Julia Roberts couldn’t be prouder. “It’s really thrilling, and I wasn’t lucky enough to have a college experience. So to see how it’s happening for them is really fascinating. And yeah, I’m just, I’m excited for them,” she opened up.
On a December 2023 episode of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Julia shared that supporting her kids’ colleges has become a big part of her life, “You become immediately like, ’This is my entire life.’ I wear the colors, I do the whole thing.”
When Jimmy Fallon asked if her youngest son, Henry, was sad to be the only child left at home, Julia replied that while Henry missed his siblings, he also enjoyed being the sole kid at home, “I think it’s a good 50/50 split. He’s loving it. And I think he misses his people.”
She’s still a hands-on mom even though her kids are older.
Julia Roberts continues to be a hands-on mom. On the Today show, she expressed her gratitude for the ongoing involvement she has in their lives. “I parent them the same way out of the house that I parented them in the house,” the actress opened up. “Which is ’Are you getting enough sleep? You sound like you’re sick, are you drinking enough tea? Text me when you get home. I can see that you’re home safe and sound,’” Julia explained.
She continued, “And I have an immense amount of appreciation for both of my older kids because they still allow me to be the same mom to them, and it’s not eye-rolling. There’s a huge amount of understanding.”
Despite her busy schedule and the distance between them due to college, they stay connected through group calls.
She is grateful for finding work-life balance.
Julia has always valued finding a balance between work and family, and she’s grateful that she can often put her kids first. In an interview with British Vogue in 2024, Julia reflected on how achieving success early in her career allowed her to prioritize her family when her children were younger.
“I think that the luckiest aspect of my work life/family life is that the success of my work life came earlier. So by the time I had the success of my family life and had a husband and children who wanted to stay at home, I had been working for 18 years,” she said.
Julia expressed her deep gratitude for being able to pause work life to nurture her home life.
“I never force my son to say SORRY and THANK YOU — it could psychologically traumatize him,” a reader wrote to Bright Side to share her unique parenting style and to seek advice from other parents. She often faces criticism about her methods of upbringing and wants to know if other parents have had similar experiences.
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