Lisa worked tirelessly to afford a dream trip to Maui, only for her husband, Wade, to give her ticket to his mommy instead. Stunned but seething, Lisa starts planning the ultimate payback — one that will ensure his vacation is unforgettable for all the wrong reasons.
I stared at the Maui resort website, my cursor hovering over the “Book Now” button like it was the detonator to a happiness bomb.
A woman staring thoughtfully at her laptop screen | Source: Midjourney
The photos showed pristine beaches, infinity pools, and those little umbrellas in coconut drinks that screamed “vacation.”
After a year of endless work and juggling the kids’ schedules with the precision of a circus performer, I needed this break like a caffeine addict needs their morning coffee.
I let out a sigh of relief as I clicked the button. The confirmation page popped up with a cheerful ding, and I let loose with a little victorious air punch. I was finally getting my dream vacation!
A happy woman looking at a laptop screen | Source: Midjourney
Wade and I had agreed to split the cost fifty-fifty. I’d convinced him we needed a real vacation in January and had been working hard to make it happen all year.
I’d planned everything down to the minute: beachfront resort, sunset sail, snorkeling with sea turtles. I even scheduled in “spontaneous” relaxation time, because that’s the kind of control freak I’d become.
The kids were thrilled about staying with my sister, Jane, for the week we’d be away.
Happy siblings on a sofa | Source: Midjourney
“Mom,” my 13-year-old Emma had said, “Aunt Jane said she’ll give us ice cream for breakfast!”
I pretended to be scandalized, but honestly, Jane could feed them moon rocks for all I cared. This vacation was my light at the end of a very long, very dark, very exhausting tunnel.
One week before our flight, all my dreams of relaxing on the beach came crashing down around me.
A woman with a serious expression | Source: Midjourney
Wade’s mom was coming for dinner, so I was in the kitchen dishing up her special lasagna. She’d given me the recipe a year ago with great fanfare, like she was conveying a great honor. It was just regular lasagna with extra garlic and oregano.
I heard the front door open, and my mother-in-law’s distinctive perfume arrived about three seconds before she did.
“Something smells wonderful!” Carol’s voice carried through the house like a foghorn of impending doom.
A woman striding down a home corridor | Source: Midjourney
She swept into the kitchen, designer purse swinging from her arm like a weapon. She scanned the kitchen, frowned, and then leaned out into the hall.
“Wade, honey, your wife is plating dinner already. Why aren’t you here to welcome me?”
I bit my tongue so hard that I probably needed stitches.
“Sorry, Mom, I was packing a few things. We’ve got some exciting news,” Wade announced as he bounded into the room like an overeager golden retriever. “We booked a trip to Maui!”
Carol’s face lit up like a Christmas tree on steroids.
A mature woman grinning in a kitchen | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, sweetie! You’re so wonderful for planning such a lovely vacation.” She turned to me with a dismissive glance that could have frozen Hawaii itself. “You’re lucky to have my Wade. He’s always been such a caring soul.”
“Actually,” I started to say, “I was the one who—”
“You know,” Carol interrupted, sinking into a kitchen chair with a dramatic sigh worthy of a soap opera, “I’ve been so exhausted lately. Retirement isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. All those bridge club meetings, and my garden needs so much attention…”
A mature woman sitting at a table | Source: Midjourney
I turned away so Carol wouldn’t see me roll my eyes. She’d never once offered to watch the kids during their various illnesses, school events, or even that time I had the flu and was hallucinating that the kitchen sponge was giving me financial advice.
But somehow her life was always so hard… yeah, right. Carol was just one of those people who thought having life problems was a competitive sport.
I suppressed a sigh as we all sat down to eat.
A plate of lasagna on a table | Source: Pexels
Carol droned on about how exhausted she was and how much she wished she could also enjoy a “fancy getaway.”
I just nodded occasionally and tried not to groan, but Wade was drinking it all up.
Toward the end of dinner, Wade cleared his throat and turned to me.
“Hey, honey, I was thinking…”
He had that look again, the one that meant I should probably start looking up countries with no extradition treaties.
“Why don’t you let Mom take your ticket?”
A man speaking to someone during dinner | Source: Midjourney
I nearly choked on my garlic bread.
“Wade,” I said carefully, my voice shaking with the restraint of a saint, “I worked my butt off all year to save for this trip. I’m exhausted. I need this break more than I need oxygen right now.”
He shrugged, like I was complaining about the weather instead of the grand theft of my sanity vacation.
“A lot of women work these days,” he said. “It’s your choice. But you heard my mom… she could really use a break. Don’t make this a big deal.”
A man speaking during dinner at home | Source: Midjourney
“I worked my whole life for my son and never complained,” Carol chimed in, dabbing at nonexistent tears with her perfectly manicured fingers.
I looked at Wade, really looked at him, and something inside me snapped like a rubber band that had been stretched way too far. Six years of marriage crystallized into perfect clarity.
This wasn’t about the vacation. This was about every birthday dinner he’d insisted we spend with his mother, every decision that somehow always ended with Carol getting her way, and how she still called Wade her “precious baby boy” even though he was in his 30s.
Close up of a woman staring ahead with wide eyes | Source: Midjourney
I forced my lips into a smile. “Sure, Wade. Take your mom. I’ll figure something else out.”
They both beamed, thinking they’d won. But I was already planning my revenge, and it was going to be more satisfying than all the spa treatments in Hawaii combined.
Over the next few days, I became very busy with my laptop, cackling like a witch over her cauldron.
The five-star resort? Downgraded to a budget hotel miles from the beach, with one queen bed and a mysterious stain on the carpet that the reviews said might be sentient.
A woman cackling while using her laptop | Source: Midjourney
The sunset sail and snorkeling? Canceled faster than a bad Netflix series. Instead, I booked them fascinating activities like “The History of Pineapple Farming: A Four-Hour Lecture Series” and “Traditional Hat Weaving: A Five-Hour Workshop with Bonus Meditation.”
Their first-class flights became economy middle seats, separated by three rows, right next to the bathrooms.
But that wasn’t all I had planned.
A woman smirking while using her laptop | Source: Midjourney
I also found a lawyer and filed for divorce.
By the time Wade left for the airport, I was ready to move forward with the next stage. I packed his things into suitcases and lined them up in the hallway like soldiers of liberation. The note I left took only minutes to write, but I’d been composing it in my head for days.
Dear Wade,
In these suitcases, you’ll find all your belongings — well, at least the ones worth keeping. I need a break, not just from our “marriage,” but from your mom’s constant meddling and your eternal cluelessness.
Feel free to unpack at her place. I’m sure she’ll love having her little boy back full-time.
Best wishes,
Your ex-wife
Suitcases in an entrance hall | Source: Pexels
Then I treated myself to some online shopping: one ticket for a luxury Mediterranean cruise. The refunds from all those canceled Maui activities more than covered it.
I was folding clothes into my suitcase, practicing my “lounging on deck” pose, when my phone exploded with Wade’s ringtone.
“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” His voice cracked with fury. “It’s so selfish! This hotel is a dump, and the flight was a nightmare!”
A smug woman on a phone call | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, I thought you’d love it! A nice quiet room, some quality mother-son bonding over hat weaving… But wait until you see the surprise I arranged for when you get back.”
“What surprise? Lisa? LISA!”
I hung up, smiling like the cat who not only got the cream but also started a successful dairy company. The divorce papers were scheduled for delivery to Carol’s house the day they returned.
By then, I’d be somewhere off the Italian coast, eating authentic pasta and sipping champagne.
A cruise ship close to land | Source: Pexels
A few months have passed since all of this happened. The divorce was finalized smoothly and these days, I’m happily single and planning my next adventure to Disney World with the kids.
Wade is still living with his mommy, and from the sounds of things, has no plans to move out anytime soon. The kids visit him every second weekend, and I make sure to smile and wave whenever I see Carol.
Once, I even got to ask if she enjoyed her hat-weaving workshop.
A woman standing beside her car waving her hand | Source: Midjourney
Sometimes the best vacations are the ones you take by yourself — especially when they lead you exactly where you need to be.
And sometimes, the sweetest revenge isn’t served cold: it’s a pineapple farming lecture with a side of hat weaving.
Anne Hegerty, 66, from The Chase, shared her worries about dating. She talked about how her longest relationship only lasted four months and that she has never had children.
Anne Hegerty, known from The Chase, shared that her biggest fear about dating is having a man invade her personal space.
The quizzer, who was diagnosed with autism at 45, opened up about her challenges, mentioning a time when she unplugged her phone to stop a boyfriend from contacting her.
At The Paul Strank Roofing Charity Gala in Kensington, London, she honestly said that she thinks she would make a terrible partner.
Anne, 66, said, “I really struggle with being close to others and having anyone else in the house.
“I think a lot of autistic people don’t get married or settle down.”
Anne explained, “I don’t even have pets because of this, and my ability to live with other people is getting smaller. I need a lot of alone time.
“I always feel like I need more space than anyone can give me. If I wanted a relationship, I could find one, but honestly, I don’t.”
She also mentioned that her longest relationship only lasted four months. Reflecting on that time, she said, “It only worked for those few months because I was in Manchester. I kind of set it up so it wouldn’t last.”
In the end, she wrote to him to end things. “I remember crying with relief and then crying with guilt,” she shared.
Anne felt overwhelmed during that relationship. “Sometimes, I unplugged the phone because he tried to call me every day. I just wanted it to be over.
“I’d sit there waiting for the phone to ring, thinking, ‘Don’t phone, don’t phone, don’t phone!’ Other times, to get over the waiting, I’d call him, but that made him think I wanted to talk. I really just wanted to end it. I didn’t want to talk to him or anyone!”
Anne joked that she hasn’t lacked offers from admirers who seem to like her “Mrs. Trunchbull” Governess outfit.
She said, “I’m sure some people are attracted to the whole look of The Governess. I think there are some who might be interested if they let me.”
Anne said, “I do meet attractive men, but I know it won’t work out. I feel like it’s not fair to them because I won’t treat them well.”
She added, “I always want more space than they can give me. If I wanted a relationship, I could find someone, but I don’t.”
She thinks it’s better not to date at all and enjoys having men as friends more than women. She recalled a quiz she attended in June, where a woman pointed out they were the only two women in the room, but Anne hadn’t even noticed because she was talking to her male friends.
Anne also shared that this is part of why she never had children, even though she is great with kids. “I did want children, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it very well.”
About 20 years ago, two kids from her neighborhood used to come over. “We limited their visits to just one hour a day, but they always wanted to stay longer. They were wonderful kids, and we’re now friends on Facebook, but I couldn’t handle that for more than an hour.”
Anne takes her role as godmother to Mark “Beast” Labbett’s eight-year-old son, Lawrence, very seriously.
She said, “Lawrence’s birthday is at the end of November, so I usually send a birthday and Christmas present at the same time—but they are not the same gift. My parents had winter birthdays, and I knew they hated getting just one present for two celebrations.”
Anne joked that one of the gifts she gave Lawrence was a bit inappropriate—a toy crossbow. “So, weaponry,” she laughed. “But lately, I’ve been giving him Minecraft vouchers since he really loves that.”
She also mentioned that she has spent Christmas alone for the past 40 years. That’s why she’s especially happy to be playing the Fairy Godmother in this year’s panto, Cinderella, in Scarborough.
Anne, who was on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here in 2018, said, “Now that I’m in panto, I can say, ‘Sorry, I’m in Scarborough!’ and that’s my only day off.”
She sees it as a great day off. Even though many people invite her to spend Christmas with them, she prefers not to. “I don’t do Christmas dinner or a tree. When I was a kid, I just remember all the pine needles everywhere!”
Earlier this year, Anne took on another acting role, making a cameo as a neighbor in a film called Exorcising Barry, which is about a man obsessed with a demon.
Anne said that any chance of going to Hollywood is out of the question.
She explained, “America wouldn’t want me because I’m fat. I have a friend who went there for work, and even though she looks amazing, they told her she needed to lose weight. I’m fine with how I am, but they don’t like fat British actresses.”
Despite this, she has had great success in Britain. Talking about The Chase’s recent National Television Award win, she said, “I’m so happy. Bradley Walsh is amazing. It’s been 14 years, and I love it.”
She added, “Other kids used to sing in front of the mirror with a hairbrush. When I was younger, I practiced being interviewed for when I became famous. I don’t know why, but it’s always been my dream.”
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