Mike and I had been married for eight years. No kids yet, but I thought we were happy. I worked full-time, split the bills, did everything a good wife does.
Then one evening, I came home a little late, and there she was — HER.
A very pregnant woman sitting on my couch. My heart skipped a beat, thinking she was a friend in need. But the look on Mike’s face told me everything.
“Hey, we need to talk,” he said casually. Then he dropped the bomb: “This is Jessica. She’s pregnant. With my child. We’ve decided to be together.”
I froze. Then he had the nerve to tell me TO MOVE TO MY MOM’S while they took the house. I was speechless. My bl:ood was boiling, but I kept my cool.
I looked him dead in the eyes and said, “Okay, I’ll go away.”
Mike probably thought he’d gotten off easy. Jessica’s smile grew wider. Little did they know, the lottery was about to hit them backhard.
I packed a suitcase with some essentials, and left without another word.
I drove to my mom’s house. The next day, I set my plan in motion.
I marched in the bank like a woman on a mission. I froze our joint account faster than you can say “cheating jerk.”
The look on the bank manager’s face when I explained why was priceless.
Next, I visited a locksmith.
I remembered overhearing Mike tell Jessica they’d be gone for three days, giving me plenty of time to execute my master plan.
My next stop: my house – the same cozy house Mike and I once lived together.
The puzzled locksmith probably thought I was crazy, cackling as I had him change all the locks on the house.
Then came the movers.
I gave them the spare keys and scheduled them to pack up everything I owned, which was basically everything in the house. I even took the toilet paper. Let’s see how Mike and Jessica enjoy using leaves!
But the piece de resistance? I had a brilliant idea that would make this revenge not just sweet, but long-lasting.
I sent out party invitations to Mike’s family, our friends, his coworkers, even nosy neighbor.
The invitation read: “Come celebrate Mike’s new life! Surprise party at our house, tomorrow at 7 p.m.!”
Then, I commissioned a billboard. It was delivered and set up on our front lawn.
In giant, bold letters, it proclaimed: “Congratulations on Dumping Me for Your Pregnant Mistress, Mike! Hope the Baby Doesn’t Inherit Your Infidelity!”
I stepped back to admire my handiwork. With a satisfied smirk, I sashayed away from the scene, eagerly anticipating the chaos that was about to unfold.
The next evening, my phone rang. It was Mike.
“Michelle, What the hell is going on? Why are there people at our house? And what’s with this insane billboard?”, he screeched.
I said, trying to sound innocent. “Just a little housewarming party for you and Jessica. Don’t you like the decorations?”
“Decorations? It’s a freaking circus out here! And why can’t I get into the house?”
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Well, honey, you told me to move out, remember? You never said anything about you staying there. I just remembered that the house is solely under my name. So, I changed the locks. Oopsie!”
There was a long silence on the other end. I could almost hear the gears in his tiny brain trying to process what was happening.
“Where are we supposed to go?” he finally sputtered.
“Gee, I don’t know, Mike. Maybe Jessica’s mom would love to have you? I hear pregnancy hormones and in-laws mix really well.”
In the days that followed, I had the utilities cut off, canceled the cable, and made sure all our joint assets were transferred into my name. I listed the house for sale, making sure to mention in the listing that it came with a “bonus front lawn art installation.”
I had Mike served with divorce papers at work. I specifically requested the mailman to dress up as a pregnant woman. Just for funsies.
But the universe wasn’t done with Mike yet. Oh no, it had saved the best for last.
A week later, I got a call from Jessica. She was crying so hard.
“Michelle,” she sobbed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… I mean, Mike told me you two were separated. And now… now he’s broke and homeless, and I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what to do!”
I almost felt bad for her.
“Well, Jessica,” I said, trying to keep the glee out of my voice, “I hear the circus is always looking for new acts. Maybe you two could start a juggling duo? You juggle the baby, he juggles his lies?”
She didn’t appreciate my humor. Tsk! Tsk!
As it turns out, when Jessica found out that Mike was now homeless, broke, she decided that maybe being with a guy who had no money, no house, and no future wasn’t such a great idea after all.
She dumped him.
Last I heard, Mike was living in a tiny apartment, trying to scrape together enough money to pay bills and feed his hungry belly. His family had cut him off, disgusted by his behavior.
They even sent me a fruit basket and a sorry card.
As for me? The house sold for a nice profit. I moved to a beautiful new place, started my own business, and adopted a cat. I named him Karma.
We Cut the Cake at Our Gender Reveal Party, and It Turned Out Black, My MIL, Dressed in Black, Stood Aside and Cried
was falling into place, like the universe had finally decided to give us our happily ever after.
“This is it, Misha,” Jerry said to me the night before the party. “We’re finally going to complete our family.”
“I know,” I said, smiling. “I can’t wait for our little one to come and turn our world upside down.”
We wanted to make the gender reveal special, so we decided on a big party. We invited family from both sides, hired a bakery for the cake, and handed the ultrasound results to Jerry’s mom, Nancy. She was thrilled to be in charge.
“I’ve got everything under control, Misha,” Nancy promised. “I’ll take care of the cake and get a special gift for my grandbaby. I just know it’s going to be a girl—I’m ready to spoil her rotten!”
Nancy had been eager to be involved ever since we announced the pregnancy, so it felt good to let her handle the cake. I was grateful she felt included.
As my mom and I set up for the party, the house was transformed into a Pinterest-perfect setting—pink and blue balloons tied to every chair, platters of food arranged on the table, and a banner that read, “He or She? Let’s See!” It was everything I had ever dreamed of.
The final touch was the beautiful white cake at the center of the room, ready for the big reveal. Jerry’s whole family was there—his cousins, brother, aunt—filling the house with excitement and chatter.
When Nancy arrived, I noticed she was dressed all in black. It struck me as strange, but I didn’t think much of it. Maybe she thought black was slimming or elegant. Who knew?
As everyone gathered around the cake, the energy in the room buzzed with anticipation. Phones were out, cameras ready to capture the big moment.
Jerry put his arm around me. “Ready?” he whispered.
“Let’s do this,” I grinned.
The countdown began.
“Three… two… one!”
We cut into the cake, expecting to see pink or blue inside. But when we pulled out the first slice, the room went silent. The cake was pitch black.
Not a hint of pink. Not a touch of blue. Just black.
My heart sank. Was this some kind of joke? No one was laughing. Everyone stood frozen, unsure whether to keep recording or put their phones down.
I glanced at Jerry, who looked just as confused as I felt. Then my eyes landed on Nancy, standing off to the side. She was dressed head to toe in black—black dress, black scarf, black shoes—and now she looked like she was… crying?
“Nancy?” I called out, frowning.
She wiped her eyes with a tissue, her makeup smudging. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice rising. “Why would you order a black cake?”
Jerry stepped in, his confusion turning to frustration. “Mom, what’s going on?”
Nancy dabbed at her eyes, trembling. “It’s not about the cake. It’s what I was told… I couldn’t risk it.”
“What are you talking about?” Jerry asked, his patience wearing thin.
Nancy took a deep breath. “Ten years ago, I visited a fortune teller with my sister. She told me something terrifying—that if my first grandchild was a boy, it would destroy your family, Jerry. And I’d be struck with a terrible illness.”
The room gasped. Jerry’s jaw dropped. “You’ve believed that nonsense for ten years?”
Nancy nodded, wringing her hands. “I know it sounds crazy, but I couldn’t ignore it. She was famous in our town—everyone said her predictions were always right.”
I stared at her, stunned. “So you sabotaged our gender reveal because of a fortune teller?”
Nancy hung her head. “I thought if it was a boy, maybe the black cake would… stop the curse. I even put bay leaves in it, hoping it would change something.”
I pressed my fingers to my temple, trying to process the absurdity. I knew Nancy could be a bit eccentric, but this? This was beyond anything I’d imagined.
Jerry let out a sharp breath. “Mom, you let a con artist control your decisions for ten years?”
Nancy’s lip quivered as she crumbled under the weight of her fear. “I was terrified of losing you. I couldn’t bear the thought that something bad would happen to your family because of me.”
Before anyone could respond, Jerry’s cousin Megan, who had been scrolling through her phone, chimed in.
“Wait, was it J. Morris? That fortune teller?”
Nancy’s eyes lit up. “Yes! That’s the one!”
Megan shook her head, holding up her phone. “She was exposed years ago, Aunt Nancy. A total fraud. Look, there’s an article about her getting arrested for scamming people.”
Nancy’s eyes widened as she stepped closer to read the screen. “I… I can’t believe this. All these years, I’ve been living in fear for nothing?”
Jerry rubbed his forehead in frustration. “Mom, you let this nonsense ruin one of the most important moments of our lives.”
Nancy’s shoulders sagged, her face crumpling with guilt. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to ruin your day. I just didn’t know how to stop believing it.”
There was a heavy silence in the room. I wanted to be furious, but seeing Nancy so broken made it impossible. I walked over and put a hand on hers.
“It’s okay, Mom,” I said softly. “I’m glad we know the truth now. You can enjoy the rest of the pregnancy with us. You’re going to be a grandma.”
Nancy’s tearful eyes met mine, and a small smile crept across her face. “Thank you, darling. I’m truly sorry.”
Jerry, still shaken, managed to laugh. “Wait… so does this mean we’re having a boy?”
The room burst into nervous laughter, and even Nancy chuckled through her tears. Jerry squeezed my hand, grinning.
“Well, I guess this was the strangest gender reveal ever.”
We all laughed, the tension finally lifting. Megan took a picture of the cake, laughing as she typed, “#GothBabyReveal.”
In the end, we cut into the black cake and shared it with everyone. It wasn’t the reveal I had imagined, but somehow, it felt just right—filled with laughter, love, and the relief that everything was finally out in the open.
Now, all we had to do was wait for our little one to arrive.
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