Sometimes you have to remember your worth and stand up for yourself — this is what I learned after giving birth to my fourth child. Although the lesson came at a cost, I realized the alternative would have had far worse consequences.
Life has been overwhelmingly busy lately. Four months ago, I gave birth to a beautiful boy, Dylan, who joined his three siblings, all under eight. As you can imagine, managing a newborn, along with three other young children is exhausting but fulfilling in a way that’s hard to describe.
A mother and her newborn. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Becoming a mother has been the most significant role of my life. While pregnant with our first child, Tray, my husband George and I discussed whether I should return to work. We initially agreed that I would stay home for a year before resuming my career. However, when the time came, I realized I wanted to be a full-time mom.
This feeling of profound responsibility towards our children grew stronger with the arrival of each new family member. First Tray, then our daughter Lily, followed by Justin, and finally Dylan. Each addition reinforced my decision to focus on raising them.
A mother spending tim with her kids. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
However, things at home began to change with Dylan’s birth. My mother-in-law started showing up at our house unannounced. She wasn’t coming to help with the children or the household.
She would say hello, then disappear into the kitchen to help herself to whatever she found, leaving dirty dishes behind. This happened several times, and each instance chipped away at my patience.
A woman sitting in the kitchen enjoying a meal and looking at her phone. For illustration purposes only | Source: Freepik
The situation escalated one morning after a particularly trying doctor’s visit with Dylan, who had just received his vaccinations. He was fussy, and I was running on little sleep.
All I craved was a soothing cup of coffee when we returned home. As I settled Dylan in his crib and finally headed to the kitchen, I heard the front door open and the familiar cheer, “Hi, dear! Just came to check on all of you!”
A cup of coffee. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
It took a while to soothe Dylan, and by the time I reached the kitchen for my much-needed coffee, I discovered not only was the pot empty, but I also had no coffee filter left. My mother-in-law, oblivious to my need, casually took the last cup.
Watching her take that last sip, I felt a surge of frustration. Just then, Lily burst into the kitchen, her presence a brief distraction from my brewing anger. “Mommy, can we watch ‘Peppa Pig’?” she asked.
Young girl with her mother in the kitchen. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Masking my irritation, I smiled and nodded, asking if her brothers wanted to watch too. Once she scampered off, I turned back to face my mother-in-law, who, sensing the tension, quickly left.
When George came home, I told him about the ongoing issues and asked him to speak with his mother. He acknowledged that she had overstepped boundaries but failed to address it with her. That weekend, the unresolved tensions came to a head.
A couple discuss an issue in their relationship. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
After a night of little rest, overwhelmed by the unending demands of parenting, I managed to gather enough energy to make homemade pizzas with the kids.
They were thrilled with the activity, eagerly anticipating eating their creations for dinner. I put Dylan down for his nap right as dinner time approached, hoping for a peaceful end to the day.
A sliced pizzza. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
To my dismay, when I returned to the kitchen, I found the pizzas gone. George and his mother were in the lounge, nonchalantly enjoying the last slices.
My exhaustion turned to anger, and I confronted them loudly, asking why they had eaten the children’s dinner. Their shocked faces only increased my frustration. George tried to calm me, but it was too late; I was too upset to listen.
An angry woman. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
I retreated to our bedroom, slammed the door, and broke down. Why was I the only one trying? Why couldn’t they see how hard I was struggling? Lily’s soft knock on the door pulled me from my despair. “Mommy, where is our pizza?” she asked innocently.
That moment crystallized my resolve. I had to stand up for my children and myself. After reassuring Lily, I confronted George and my mother-in-law again. They attempted to justify their actions by implying concern about my weight. That was the last straw.
A woman confronts her husband and mother-in-law. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
“Get out, both of you,” I said calmly, my voice firm. They left, and George spent the night at his mother’s house. The relief I felt after they left was palpable.
I ordered pizza for the kids and myself, and as we ate, I made my decision. The next morning, I asked my sister to watch the kids while I filed for divorce. I placed the divorce papers in an empty pizza box on the coffee table for George to discover.
Divorce documentation. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
After informing my parents of the situation, they offered unconditional support. Staying with them allowed me to focus on healing and planning for the future. Within a short time, I regained my strength and prepared to face whatever came my way.
Now, I’m proud of standing up for what’s right for myself and my children. I’ve shown them what strength looks like and taught them the importance of self-respect and making tough decisions for the betterment of one’s future.
A woman enjoying life. For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Had I not come to this realization, my kids would have grown up thinking it’s okay not to get support, care, or real love from those who claim to love you. Now they know their worth, and I will ensure they never forget it.
Like me, Lanie had a similar experience, but at least my husband didn’t insist I wash the dishes without leaving me anything to eat after tending to our newborn.
Five weeks after Lanie became a first-time mom, her mother-in-law also turned her life upside down. MIL made herself a constant fixture in their home, and it didn’t take long for things to unravel since she wasn’t really there to help Lanie and her husband acclimatize to their new responsibility.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
If you find a tick inside your home, here’s what you need to know
Nature is the home to an incredibly versatile array of species, but ticks are definitely one of those that we tend to avoid at all costs.
These tiny arachnids, that are related to spiders, mites, and scorpions, are in fact parasites that survive by attaching themselves to larger animals and feeding on their blood. Humans aren’t spared either. Sadly, these insects carry harmful bacteria that can spread disease to people.
Sadly, tick-borne diseases are at an all-time high, with about 50,000 cases reported each year, and far more going unreported.
There are different types of ticks, and unfortunately, they sometimes find their way to people’s homes. The types most commonly found in homes are the black-legged tick, the dog tick, and the brown dog tick.
- Black-legged Ticks – known as deer ticks, these ticks are typically brown or black in color and have a flattened, oval-shaped body. They are commonly found in wooded areas and can transmit Lyme disease.
- Dog Ticks are larger and can range in color from brown to reddish-brown. They have a tough, shield-shaped body. Dog ticks can transmit diseases such as Rocky Mountain spotted fever.
- Brown Dog Ticks are brown in color and have a slender body.
Although the tick season is between March and October, or sometimes longer, we should be wary of this insects all year round. In fact,if beaten by a tick, a person can develop symptoms even after two or three months.
The bite itself isn’t painful and can cause swelling, itchiness, blistering, and bruising. The bad thing is that ticks also carry and transmit severe diseases, most commonly Lyme disease, as well as Rocky Mountain spotted fever, ehrlichiosis, and babesiosis.
Initially, Lyme disease develops as a circular red ‘bull’s eye’ rash around the site of a tick bite. However, not everyone gets a rash and you should also watch out for a flu-like illness with fever, headache, tiredness and general aches and pains.
The best way to prevent being bitten by a tick is to avoid tall grasses and areas where ticks thrive (such as moorlands and woodlands), especially during the warmer months.
In case you do get bitten, you should remove the tick as soon as possible in order to prevent infections.
These are some of the ways of safe removal.
- Use fine-tipped tweezers: Use clean, fine-tipped tweezers to grasp the tick as close to the skin as possible.
- Pull gently: Apply steady upward pressure, being careful not to squeeze or crush the tick. Aim to remove the tick in one smooth motion without twisting or jerking. Twisting or jerking can cause the tick’s head to break off and stay inside the skin, where it can still transmit disease.
- Clean the area: After removing the tick, clean the affected area with soap and water or an antiseptic solution. Monitor the site of the bite for any signs of infection or a rash, and consult a healthcare professional if necessary.
If by any chance ticks find their way into your home, take immediate action in order to prevent infestation. Most times, ticks are brought into your home in case they stick on your clothes or onto your pets.
- Isolate the area: If you have identified the presence of ticks in a specific area, keep pets and children away from that space.
- Wear protective gear: Put on gloves and a long-sleeved shirt to protect yourself from potential tick bites.
- Clean the area: Clean the area where you found the tick. If it is in bedding, wash the sheets. Inspect the area to ensure there are no more ticks that are present. Dispose of the tick by either flushing it down the toilet or sealing it in a container or ziplock bag before placing it in the trash.
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