A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
Emotional Moment: Reports reveal that Prince Harry was brought to tears after learning that his brother, Prince William, received a new title from King Charles, adding tension between the royal siblings.
Prince Harry is reportedly devastated after learning that his brother, Prince William, has been awarded a new military title once held by Harry himself. King Charles appointed William as the Colonel-in-Chief of the Army Air Corps, a role Harry cherished during his time as a working royal. According to royal expert Richard Fitzwilliams, this news has left Harry “in tears” and feeling further isolated from his family.
The military title was something deeply personal to Harry, as it connected to one of the few periods in his life when he felt recognized for his own achievements, independent of his royal status.
Harry had always taken great pride in his military service. He served ten years in the British Army, completing two tours of duty in Afghanistan, and his role as Colonel-in-Chief of the Army Air Corps was a point of honor. Losing that title has been particularly painful for him, as it symbolizes a deeper separation from his previous life and the duties he genuinely loved. Richard Fitzwilliams noted that for Harry, this decision by his father is a “real kick in the teeth,” especially given his strained relationship with both King Charles and Prince William in recent years.
The timing of the announcement has only worsened the situation for Harry. Buckingham Palace made the news public while Harry was in the U.K. for the 10th anniversary of the Invictus Games, an event he founded to honor wounded veterans. During this time, Harry appeared at St. Paul’s Cathedral, wearing his KCVO (Royal Victorian Order) medal, a reminder of his contributions to the monarchy.
Royal author Tom Quinn suggested that Harry’s choice to wear the medal at this event was a symbolic gesture, saying, “This was Harry’s way of reminding his family that his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, valued his contributions to the royal family.”
Despite the emotional blow, Harry remains committed to his ties with the military. However, being stripped of this honorary role in favor of his brother has reportedly intensified his feelings of betrayal. Fitzwilliams commented that Harry believes this decision further marginalizes him, reinforcing the distance between him and his family. He is said to be especially hurt that the title was given to his brother, someone he sees as part of the reason behind many of his struggles with the royal family.
Harry’s reaction to William’s new title reflects deeper issues within the royal family. The strained relationship between the brothers has been widely reported, and this latest development is seen as a significant blow to any hopes of reconciliation. The fact that Harry was once proud of his role in the military but is now watching his former position being given to his brother is seen by many as a public demonstration of how far he has been distanced from his royal duties.
As the royal family prepares for the official title handover at the Army Aviation Centre in Middle Wallop in May 2024, it marks a further step in what some see as Harry’s increasing estrangement from his previous life. The appointment of Prince William as Colonel-in-Chief of the Army Air Corps seems to cement Prince Harry’s permanent departure from both his military and royal responsibilities, a reality that, according to sources, has left him deeply saddened and emotional.
Richard Fitzwilliams, a royal expert, emphasized that the conflict between Prince Harry and King Charles III is one of the most publicized family rifts in the world. He suggested that if the situation had been handled privately, away from media speculation, there might have been a greater chance for reconciliation. Unfortunately, the tensions between the Duke of Sussex and his father run deep, as evidenced by the fact that, even when Harry returned to the U.K. in May 2024, they did not meet, which shocked and disappointed the public.
A spokesperson for Prince Harry released a statement confirming that, despite numerous inquiries and rumors, the Duke would not be meeting with the King during his visit due to the King’s busy schedule. The statement explained that Harry understood his father’s commitments and hoped to see him soon. King Charles, recently back to his public duties after a period of treatment for cancer, was occupied with official events, including a meeting with the Prime Minister of Fiji and the season’s first garden party at Buckingham Palace.
This news led to a wave of public backlash, with many criticizing the King for not prioritizing his son. Some social media users condemned the situation, calling it “unforgivable” and expressing disappointment in Charles, while others defended Harry, noting that he had made numerous attempts to reconnect. One commenter remarked that it was clear King Charles chose his position and duties over his family.
Prince Harry’s schedule during his visit was also packed, as he focused on the 10th anniversary of the Invictus Games. He participated in various events, including giving a reading at St. Paul’s Cathedral. Despite being in the same country, the physical and emotional distance between Harry and his father—and his brother, Prince William—remains significant.
In an earlier interview with “Good Morning America,” Prince Harry spoke openly about the strained relationship with his brother. When asked how their late mother, Princess Diana, would feel about their falling out, Harry said she would likely be saddened but would also recognize that healing the relationship would require going through these difficult phases. He added that he feels his mother’s presence more strongly now than ever before, especially during these times of family turmoil.
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