The weight of betrayal, combined with the complexities of inheritance and responsibility, can be almost unbearable. This is the case for a woman who, after the loss of her husband, finds herself confronting a painful and unexpected dilemma.
She explained what happened.
My husband passed away nearly three years ago, leaving me to raise our 8-year-old child on my own. Since his death, I’ve uncovered truths about him that would have ended our marriage had he been alive.
About six weeks ago, a process server came looking for him with a court order to submit DNA for a paternity test. I handed him a copy of the death certificate and sent him on his way.
Not long after, a woman appeared at my door with a child, claiming this was my late husband’s son. Is it? I don’t know, and honestly, I don’t care. The child resembles him, but he’s young enough that he must have been conceived just before my husband’s death.
I informed her that he had passed away and directed her to his grave. Almost immediately, she began demanding ’her half’ of his estate. I couldn’t help but laugh and tell her that half of nothing was nothing, and she was welcome to it.
Where I might be seen as the bad guy is that, while there was no estate, there were assets that bypassed probate. One of those was a rental property given to us by his parents, deeded to us as joint tenants with rights of survivorship. When he died, it became mine.
I’ve since sold the property, and that money will go toward our child’s college education. Legally, I’m covered—I’ve already consulted my attorney. While I do feel sympathy for this child, my priority is my own.
People stood on her side.
- “You were not a jerk. And for what it’s worth, that’s not a terribly uncommon scam for some reason. If you still have the papers, I’d look into if they were even legitimate.” O***Vegetable / Reddit
- “I would have said, ‘He died with a ton of debt. Let me get your info, so I can transfer half of it to you.’ She would be out of there so fast!” New_Standard_8609 / Reddit
- “You need to focus on your child and your finances. The property legally belongs to you, and there’s no proof your late husband was the father of the other child. Your priority is your own child’s future.” Trick-Measurement-20 / Reddit
- “Unless she has a way to prove paternity, you have ZERO obligations to her or her affair baby. Even if he is, the rental property was in your name, so it was not your husband’s to give away. Remember, she chose to wreck your house. I would not open the door for her.” mi_nombre_es_ricardo / Reddit
- “Don’t even give a second of thought about this again. Just tell yourself, ‘It was just a scam.’ And never talk to that person again, get a restraining order if it comes to it. Having said that, if you ever are served with papers (i.e. an actual lawsuit has been filed) then lawyer up immediately and vigorously defend yourself.” Apprehensive-Care20z / Reddit
- “It’s between your late hubby and his baby momma. You received sole possession of all assets upon his death, and you owe nothing to the baby momma. She should have informed him she was pregnant with his child while he was alive if she knew. Why did she wait 3 years to come forward?” Funny247365 / Reddit
Though the moral and ethical aspects of her decision may provoke debate, it highlights a universal truth: moving forward often requires making tough, deeply personal choices.
Why do some people place coins on gravestones?
Coping with the loss of a loved one is a challenging journey, even when they rest in a visitable site. Many individuals express their deep connection by leaving intricate offerings like flower arrangements, and in certain cultures, even snacks. However, the tradition of placing coins on gravestones holds a distinctive significance, primarily associated with military personnel, carrying a profound meaning for veterans and their families.
The origins of the practice are somewhat unclear, with claims suggesting a historical connection to the Roman Empire, though lacking concrete documentation, according to Snopes. Regardless of its historical roots, one undeniable truth remains, those who serve in the armed forces, along with their loved ones, endure sacrifices that often surpass common understanding.
The custom of leaving coins on gravestones can be traced back to the Vietnam War era, where it served as a practical means of communication amidst the divisive political climate surrounding the war. Leaving a coin became a subtle yet meaningful gesture, avoiding potential contentious discussions with the soldier’s family about the politics of the war. This revelation is shared on the American Legion Website.
Beyond its practical origins, the tradition of leaving coins on gravestones has evolved into a symbolic act of showing respect and honoring fallen comrades. Each coin type carries a distinct meaning in this poignant practice. A penny symbolizes a simple visit, a nickel holds sentimental value as it signifies shared experiences in boot camp, a dime represents serving together, even briefly, before a transfer, and a quarter, perhaps the most significant, indicates that the individual was present during the time of death, offering solace to the grieving family.
This tradition of military personnel leaving coins is not the sole connection between the military and monetary symbols. Challenge coins, a beloved military tradition, have deep roots dating back to World War I, symbolizing unity among those who have served. While challenge coins hold sentimental value and represent unity, they lack any monetary worth.
Coins, as symbols, extend beyond military traditions, playing roles in various cultural practices. Coins are often seen as symbols of good luck, goodwill towards newlyweds, and objects for making wishes. Throughout history, there have been instances of individuals being buried with their wealth, although not necessarily in the form of coins. Abraham Lincoln, for instance, was reported to be buried with two-half dollars over his eyes.
While the specific symbolism of currency may remain unclear in the tradition of placing coins on gravestones, the practice signifies a bond that transcends superficial understanding. It serves as a powerful and enduring tribute, acknowledging the sacrifices made by those in the service and their families, ensuring their dedication is never overlooked or forgotten.
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