After four miscarriages and plenty of plain to overcome, Paige and her husband, Victor, finally welcomed a child in their life.
The two were a great couple who knew what worked for them and what didn’t. After every miscarriage, Victor assured Paige that everything would be all right eventually, and that if they couldn’t have a baby of their own, they could always consider other options. His words were always comforting.
When baby Mason was welcomed into the world, it felt like all those shattered dreams had finally pieced themselves together. He became the center of his parents’ lives and they put him above everything else, including their careers.
Being a chief executive with a clothing brand, Paige needed to travel a lot because she was involved in every step of the product designs.
This didn’t bother her much because she knew Victor was a wonderful father who took great care of their child whenever she was away from home.
When Mason turned four, Paige knew he was about to enter pre-school soon so she decided to limit her work trips in order to be able to spend more time with him.
One time, Paige was away from home for three days, and once her work was done, she was eager to get home to her family and give her son a hug. Little did she know that this time would be different.
As she entered, the house was strangely quiet, with faint shuffling noises coming from upstairs.
Victor’s voice was hushed but urgent — the same urgency that Mason associated with misbehavior and bedtime.
“Buddy, you’ve got to promise me one thing, okay?” Victor said.
“Okay,” Mason muttered innocently. “What is it?”
“You’ve got to promise me that you won’t tell Mom what you saw.”
“But I don’t like secrets,” Mason said. “Why can’t I tell Mommy?”
Victor let out a deep sigh — its echo seemed to ripple through the house, as if carried by the air.
“It’s not a secret, Mason,” he said. “But if we tell Mommy, it’s going to make her sad. Do you want Mommy to be sad, buddy?”
“No, I don’t,” Mason answered.
At that moment, pretending she didn’t hear a thing, Paige yelled, “Mason! Victor! Mom’s home!”
“What’s going on?” she asked, as Mason leaped into her arms.
“Nothing, honey,” Victor said, winking. “Just a boys’ chat. Welcome home.”
Since Victor was the perfect husband and father, Paige tried to convince herself that the conversation she overheard was truly nothing important. She thought to herself that Victor probably gave Mason too many sweets or let him eat junk food, and that’s what they tried to hide from her.
However, letting it go seemed harder that she thought.
The week that followed and the trip she had to take were both a blessing and a curse for Paige. As much as she loved her job, the thought of leaving Mason saddened her profoundly. She only found solace in the photos Victor sent her, and one of those photos brought more questions than answers.
In one of the photos showing Mason playing with his toys, Paige spotted blue shows she had never seen before. They weren’t hers, yet they were there in her living room.
Paige decided to scroll through each of the photos Victor has ever sent her, and she did find more evidence of someone being in their home while she was away. Was it a nanny he hired to take care of their son? If yes, she had a very expensive taste.
This time, Paige decided to return home without telling Victor. She wanted to surprise him.
Once home from her trip, she entered straight to Mason’s room who had just woken up and was rubbing his eyes.
“Dad’s not downstairs?” she asked, as she could hear noises coming from the bedroom. “Mommy, don’t go in there. You’ll be sad,” Mason warned her.
In the bedroom, Victor was in bed with another woman. “Paige!” he exclaimed, sitting up in bed. “It’s not what you think!”
“Do I look that stupid?”
The woman took her clothes and entered the bathroom, locking the door behind her.
The ensuing confrontation was a whirlwind of tears, accusations, and heartbreak. Victor attempted to deny everything, relying on his charm. Paige knew that if she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, she might have fallen for his lies.
“I have nothing else to say to you,” Paige said.
“What did you expect, Paige?” Victor asked.
The woman fled the house and Paige was left to confront the man she no longer knew.
“You’re never here,” he lashed out. “You’re never around. And when you’re home, you spend all your time on Mason or working. What about me?”
He tried to portray himself as a victim. “I need human contact, too,” he said. “And I don’t know what you get up to when you’re flying all over the country. I bet you’ve got stories, too.”
“No, Victor,” she said. “I’m not you. My vows meant something to me.”
Eventually, Paige asked Victor to move out and filed for divorce. Reflecting on that conversation between him and Mason that she had overheard, Paige realized the signs were always there, but she tried to ignore them because she only saw the good in her soon to be ex-husband.
Why More Happy Couples Prefer to Sleep in Separate Beds
According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
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