I Found Photos of Me with a Newborn, but I Don’t Remember Ever Being Pregnant

I opened a box of forgotten photos while cleaning the attic and found pictures of me holding a tiny newborn, my eyes brimming with love. But I’d never been pregnant, let alone given birth. I decided to investigate, unaware I must face a truth that would shatter me to the core.

A few weeks ago, I was cleaning the attic when I pulled an old box from the shelf. It was labeled “Photos – Keep” in my handwriting, though I had no memory of marking it. Dust motes danced in the bright light as I nervously opened the box.

An old box on the floor | Source: Midjourney

An old box on the floor | Source: Midjourney

Inside, memories spilled out in glossy 4×6 prints: my college graduation with Mom and Dad beaming beside me, our wedding day with Daniel spinning me around the dance floor, and countless summer barbecues at the lake house.

Then, everything STOPPED.

There I was, in a hospital bed, cradling a newborn baby. My hair was plastered to my forehead with sweat, dark circles under my eyes, but my expression… I was gazing at that tiny bundle with such raw, pure love that it took my breath away.

A person holding a newborn baby | Source: Unsplash

A person holding a newborn baby | Source: Unsplash

More photos followed — me holding the baby against my chest, touching its impossibly small fingers, crying as I looked into its face. In another, I was feeding the baby, my finger trapped in its tiny fist.

But that was impossible. I’d never had a baby. Never been pregnant. NEVER. Then how was this possible?

I sank to the attic floor, surrounded by the scattered photos. My hands shook as I examined each one closely, searching for signs of manipulation or editing.

But they were real… the paper was aged and the corners slightly worn.

A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney

A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney

In one picture, a distinctive mustard-yellow chair sat in the corner of the hospital room, and the curtains had an odd geometric pattern I recognized.

It was St. Mary’s Hospital, the same hospital where we’d visited my aunt after her hip surgery last year.

Daniel was at work, and I was grateful for the solitude as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. These photos showed a moment that should have been the most significant part of my life.

But I remembered nothing. Not a single second.

A mustard-yellow chair in a room | Source: Midjourney

A mustard-yellow chair in a room | Source: Midjourney

My hands wouldn’t stop shaking as I gathered the photos and grabbed my car keys as soon as Daniel left for work the following morning.

I didn’t ask him anything as I wanted to find out about this mysterious baby on my own.

The hospital parking lot was nearly empty at 11 a.m. on that pleasant Tuesday. I sat in my car for five minutes, clutching the photos to my chest and trying to gather the courage to go inside.

A young mother walked past pushing a stroller, and my chest tightened with an emotion I couldn’t name.

A woman pushing a baby stroller | Source: Pexels

A woman pushing a baby stroller | Source: Pexels

The reception area smelled of antiseptic and floor cleaner. A young woman with bright blue scrubs and a butterfly-shaped name tag looked up as I approached.

“Hi,” I said. “I need to access some old records of mine.”

“Look at this,” I then added, showing her the pictures. “Whose baby is this? Why am I holding it? I don’t remember anything. What’s happening?”

Without answering, she typed something on her phone and then frowned at her screen. Her fingers paused over the keypad.

“One moment, please!” she said, disappearing into a back office, whispering urgently to someone.

A hospital staff in scrubs | Source: Pexels

A hospital staff in scrubs | Source: Pexels

An older nurse emerged, her hair pulled back in a neat bun, her name tag reading “Nancy, Head Nurse.” Her eyes held a mix of concern and recognition that made my stomach twist.

“Miss, we do have records for you here, but we’ll need to contact your husband before we can discuss them.”

My stomach dropped. “What? Why?”

“Hospital policy, in cases like this. Please, let me call him now.”

A hospital staff holding documents | Source: Pexels

A hospital staff holding documents | Source: Pexels

“No, these are my medical records. I have a right to know—”

But Nancy was already picking up the phone, her eyes never leaving my face. She dialed, and I heard the ring through the receiver.

“Sir? This is Nancy from St. Mary’s Hospital. Yes… your wife Angela is here requesting access to some medical records. Yes… I see… Could you come down right away? Yes, it’s about that… Thank you.”

A nurse holding a smartphone | Source: Pexels

A nurse holding a smartphone | Source: Pexels

My hands clenched into fists. “You know my husband? You have his number?”

“He’ll be here in 20 minutes. Would you like some water while you wait?”

“No. I want answers.”

I sank into a plastic chair, the photos clutched to my chest.

Every minute that ticked by on the waiting room clock felt like an eternity. When Daniel finally arrived, still in his work clothes, his face was ashen. He’d clearly driven here at full speed.

“Angela??”

A startled man in a hospital | Source: Midjourney

A startled man in a hospital | Source: Midjourney

“What’s going on, Dan? Why do they have your number? Why won’t they talk to me without you?”

He turned to Nancy. “Is Dr. Peters available?”

The doctor’s office was small, with certificates covering one wall and a small window overlooking the parking lot. Dr. Peters was a middle-aged woman with kind eyes and worry lines around her mouth. She folded her hands on her desk as we sat down.

“Tell her,” Dr. Peters said. “Your wife deserves to know everything.”

My heart hammered against my ribs. “Know what? What’s going on?”

A doctor in her office | Source: Pexels

A doctor in her office | Source: Pexels

Daniel leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “Six years ago, my sister Fiona came to us with a request. Do you remember how long she and Jack had been trying to have a baby?”

“Your sister? What does she have to do with this?”

“The fertility treatments weren’t working. The IVF failed three times,” he swallowed hard. “She asked if you would consider being her surrogate. And you said… yes.”

The world tilted sideways. “No. That’s not… I would remember that. A pregnancy? Being a surrogate? No, I wouldn’t—”

A shocked woman looking up | Source: Midjourney

A shocked woman looking up | Source: Midjourney

“You were so determined to help her, Angel. You said it was the greatest gift you could give your sister-in-law. The pregnancy went perfectly. You were glowing and so happy to be helping them. But when the baby was was born—”

Dr. Peters spoke up. “You experienced a severe psychological break after delivery, Angela. The maternal hormones and bonding process were stronger than anyone anticipated. You refused to let go of the baby. When they tried to take him to Fiona, you became hysterical.”

I pressed my hands against my temples. “Stop. Please stop.”

Grayscale shot of a newborn baby | Source: Unsplash

Grayscale shot of a newborn baby | Source: Unsplash

“Your mind protected itself,” Dr. Peters explained gently. “It’s called dissociative amnesia. Your psyche built a wall around the memories to shield you from the trauma of the separation. In cases of severe emotional distress, the mind can—”

“You’re telling me I forgot an entire pregnancy? A whole baby? That’s not possible! I would know. My body would know. My heart would know.”

“Angel,” Daniel reached for my hand. But I jerked away so violently my chair scraped against the floor.

Portrait of a distressed man | Source: Midjourney

Portrait of a distressed man | Source: Midjourney

“Don’t touch me! You knew? All this time, you knew? Every time we talked about maybe having kids someday, every time we walked past a baby store… you knew I had carried a child? Given birth? And given him away like he was some freaking toy?”

“Where is he?” I demanded, my throat raw and eyes red-rimmed from crying.

“Fiona moved to the countryside shortly after. The doctors thought the distance would help you recover.”

A teary-eyed woman | Source: Unsplash

A teary-eyed woman | Source: Unsplash

“So everyone just decided?” I laughed. “Everyone just chose to let me forget my own—” I couldn’t say the word. Couldn’t acknowledge what I’d lost. “Six years? Six birthdays, first steps, first words?”

“We thought we were protecting you.”

“By lying? By watching me live in ignorance? Did you all get together and plan this? Have meetings about how to keep me in the dark?”

“By letting you heal,” Dr. Peters interjected softly. “The mind can only handle so much pain, Angela. Your psyche chose this path for a reason.”

A frustrated woman | Source: Pexels

A frustrated woman | Source: Pexels

I dashed out of the hospital as fast as my legs could carry me. Daniel caught up, ushering me into the car. I was a total mess. My fragile heart was shattered beyond repair.

That night, I slept in our guest room, surrounded by the photos.

I studied each one until my eyes burned, trying to force my mind to remember. The way I touched his tiny face. The tears on my cheeks. The love in my eyes.

I pressed my hand against my stomach, trying to imagine him there, growing, moving, being part of me. But nothing came back. Nothing.

A sad woman sitting on the bed | Source: Pexels

A sad woman sitting on the bed | Source: Pexels

“Can we see him?” I asked Daniel the next day.

“We should probably ask Fiona first,” he said, his voice uncertain. “But if you’re sure, I think she’ll be okay with it.”

It took a week to convince Fiona to let us visit. Seven days of negotiations through Daniel, because I couldn’t bear to speak to her directly. Not yet.

How do you talk to someone who has your child? Who took your child?

After countless phone calls and messages, Fiona finally agreed.

A man talking on the phone | Source: Pexels

A man talking on the phone | Source: Pexels

The drive to the countryside was endless. I watched the landscape change through the window, each mile bringing me closer to a truth I wasn’t sure I could face.

Fields gave way to forests, forests to suburbs. All the while, my mind spun with questions.

Would he look like me? Would some part of him recognize me? Would I feel anything at all? Would he come running to me?

Aerial view of a car on the road | Source: Unsplash

Aerial view of a car on the road | Source: Unsplash

Fiona’s house was everything I’d imagined during those sleepless nights. Perfect lawn, flowers in window boxes, a red bicycle leaning against the porch, and a tire swing. Wind chimes tinkled softly and the delicious smell of something cooking wafted in the air.

My legs shook so badly I could barely walk to the door.

Fiona stood there, just as I remembered her from the family pictures. But her eyes were cautious, teary, and guarded, like a watchful mother’s.

“Angela,” she said softly. “Come in.”

A teary-eyed woman looking at someone | Source: Pexels

A teary-eyed woman looking at someone | Source: Pexels

My gaze swept across the room, searching for the little one who held the key to my forgotten past.

And there he was, peeking around the corner. Dark curls like mine and those familiar eyes. My heart squeezed so tight I couldn’t breathe.

My son! My baby! I longed to scream, to run to him, to hold him tight. But I stood rooted to the spot, numb with heartache.

“Tommy,” Fiona called, “come meet your Aunt Angela.”

A little boy wearing a hat | Source: Unsplash

A little boy wearing a hat | Source: Unsplash

He approached shyly, a toy dinosaur clutched in one hand. “Hello, Aunt Angela.”

“Hello, Tommy!” I said, his name feeling like a prayer on my tongue.

He studied me with those big, brown eyes, head tilted slightly. “Want to see my room? I have a bunk bed! And a T-Rex that roars when you push its belly.”

“I’d love that, sweetie.”

A woman with her eyes downcast | Source: Midjourney

A woman with her eyes downcast | Source: Midjourney

As he led me upstairs, chattering about his dinosaur collection and his best friend Jake and how he could ride his bike without training wheels now, I felt it.

Not a memory exactly, but an echo. A ghost of what we might have been. Of all the moments I should have had.

Later that night, in our hotel room, I took out the photos one last time. The woman in them wasn’t a stranger anymore. I understood her joy, her pain, and her sacrifice even if I couldn’t remember feeling them myself.

A woman holding a newborn baby | Source: Unsplash

A woman holding a newborn baby | Source: Unsplash

I touched the image of the baby, my finger tracing his tiny photostatic features.

“You okay?” Daniel asked from the doorway.

“No. But I think I will be.”

I slipped the photos back into an envelope. Some memories might stay lost and buried under years of protective fog. But now I had something more precious than memories: I had truth. And somehow, in that truth, I found the peace I didn’t know I’d been missing.

It would take time to fully come to terms with my truth, but this was a step in the right direction.

A woman holding an envelope | Source: Pexels

A woman holding an envelope | Source: Pexels

This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

If You Notice This While Brushing Your Teeth, It Could Be a Sign of Dementia

For the person suffering from dementia as well as the ones closest to them, it may be an extremely frightening disease. On the other hand, early detection of dementia symptoms might make everyone feel better prepared. More equipped to handle the ambiguity, emotional upheaval, or perplexity. Fortunately, Dr. Richard Restak’s book, How to Prevent Dementia, was released on October 17, 2023. Some early indicators of the condition are covered in the book. The physician reveals in the book that there are four main dementia early warning indicators. He refers to the symptoms of dementia as the “Four A’s” and describes how they might manifest in routine activities like brushing your teeth. He stated that the exterior manifestations and internal feelings of an Alzheimer’s patient are driven by four deficits.

1. Amnesia may be a sign of dementia

Memory loss due to dementia. Senior man losing parts of head as symbol of decreased mind function.

According to Dr. Restak, forgetfulness is a common aging process. Thus, it only warrants concern when it occurs frequently and involving items that ought to be commonplace. For instance, if you routinely lose track of details like your address, name, or family members’ names. He adds that while this is a typical aging symptom, it might not always indicate dementia.

2. Or aphasia

high angle view of senior man collecting jigsaw puzzle as dementia rehab

The term “aphasia” describes a problem of comprehension and communication. That is, a person’s capacity for speaking, writing, and reading could deteriorate. On a daily basis, this could appear to be someone who mispronounces a word or has forgotten what it means. Dr. Restak points out that this could not be a reliable indicator of dementia either. Why then include them? The solution is easy to understand. Diseases and people have a significant characteristic. Like diseases, we vary from case to case. No condition fits neatly into a box or checklist, and some symptoms may apply to some people but not to others. Rather, diseases and humans have certain characteristics that may fall into one category but not another. Consequently, even though these dementia symptoms might not apply to everyone, they can significantly help some people learn how to deal with and manage the condition.

3. Appropriate Indices of Dementia: Agnosia and Apraxia

Alzheimer's disease concept, Elderly woman holding brain symbol of missing jigsaw puzzle, World Alzheimer's, World mental health, Memory loss, Dementia, Parkinson disease.

One illness that affects the senses is anemia. It makes it impossible to identify well-known individuals or locations. This can be experienced by touch, taste, smell, sound, or sight. Among the instances are failing to identify a family member, house, or preferred destination for a Saturday excursion. Aphasia, on the other hand, is the final of the four symptoms of dementia and manifests itself when performing routine actions like brushing your teeth. Muscle function and strength are affected by the illness. Although apraxia can cause a person to forget to brush or even have difficulty holding the toothbrush, Dr. Restak cautions that the condition goes far deeper than that. When someone has apraxia, they frequently are unable to “tie all the actions together” or perform them in the right sequence. “An individual suffering from apraxia might be able to identify and even name a toothbrush and toothpaste, but they might not be able to perform the simple act of pressing toothpaste onto the toothbrush.” He composed. “All the muscle parts are there, but they are not able to work together.” Individuals in advanced phases could also find it difficult to take a shower or get dressed.Restak wrote in How to Prevent Dementia that “many, if not all, expressions of Alzheimer’s can be explained by reference to the four A’s.”

4. Alzheimer’s versus dementia

Healthy brain vs. Alzheimer's brain

The title of the book is Dementia Prevention. Still, Dr. Restak makes several allusions to Alzheimer’s. This is due to the long-held belief that the two illnesses are very similar. While this is accurate, there are a few significant distinctions between the two, and it turns out that one frequently leads to the other. In general medicine, the term “dementia” refers to brain changes brought on by aging, illness, or trauma. the term used to describe a collection of symptoms that impair a person’s capacity to operate and carry out daily tasks. Conversely, Alzheimer’s is more common in the old and senior population and frequently results in dementia.

5. Having a Conversation with an Expert

Senior with dementia or Alzheimer's is comforted by caring female doctor

It’s advised to get in touch with a medical expert right away if you believe someone you know is showing dementia symptoms. They will have a better understanding of your symptoms and be able to conduct tests that will help determine the exact cause. But the discussion may also be frightening, awkward, and emotionally charged. There are a few things one can do to facilitate a more seamless communication. First, make sure everything is quiet, peaceful, and devoid of distractions like the TV. After that, get ready for an emotional roller coaster. Just provide the facts, but do so in a kind and perceptive manner. Summarize the important points in brief phrases and words. Permit the other individual to finish speaking. It might also be advisable in some circumstances to enlist expert assistance. For example, you can probably get emotional support, resources, and sometimes even medical guidance about what’s ahead from a religious leader, a primary care physician, or a certified therapist. In any case, the first step to learning to live with and conquer the obstacles brought on by dementia is being aware of its symptoms.

Related Posts

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*