Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
This Kid’s Halloween Surprise for an Elderly Neighbor Will Leave You in Tears
Kevin had already made his Halloween costume with his mom, helped his dad put up decorations around their house, and dreamed about all the candy he would collect. But there was one house on his street that didn’t have any decorations, and it kept bothering him. He couldn’t understand why someone would skip celebrating, so he figured maybe they needed a little help.
Halloween was just around the corner, and the whole neighborhood was filled with excitement. Every yard seemed to be competing to be the scariest one on the block.
Pumpkins with sharp, grinning faces lined the sidewalks, plastic skeletons swung from trees, and fake spider webs covered front porches.
The air smelled like dry leaves and candy, and eleven-year-old Kevin soaked it all in, his heart racing with excitement.
Halloween was Kevin’s favorite day of the year—a day when you could be whoever you wanted. He loved how everything seemed to change for one magical night.
As he walked down the sidewalk, his eyes moved from one house to another, each one decorated with glowing jack-o’-lanterns or spooky ghosts. Kevin couldn’t help but smile.
Some houses even played creepy sound effects like witches cackling or doors creaking.
But as he went farther down the street, something didn’t look right.
One house stood dark and empty, totally different from the others. No pumpkins, cobwebs, or skeletons. Not even a tiny decoration. Kevin frowned when he realized whose house it was—Mrs. Kimbly’s.
He stopped, staring at her bare front porch. Mrs. Kimbly was an older lady who lived alone and kept to herself. Kevin had helped her before, mowing her lawn in the summer and shoveling snow in the winter. She never said much, just paid him and went back inside.
But today, her undecorated house didn’t fit in with the rest of the cheerful neighborhood.
Why hadn’t Mrs. Kimbly decorated for Halloween? Kevin couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.
Halloween was about having fun, and it didn’t seem fair for anyone to miss out, especially someone who lived alone like Mrs. Kimbly.
Kevin’s heart felt heavy. Maybe she just needed help. Maybe she couldn’t decorate by herself.
Determined, Kevin ran across the street to her house. The leaves crunched under his feet as he climbed her porch steps.
He paused for a moment, then knocked. The sound echoed, and Kevin felt nervous. Finally, the door creaked open.
Mrs. Kimbly stood there, frowning, her eyes squinting behind her glasses.
“What do you want, Kevin?” she asked in a low, sharp voice.
Kevin swallowed. “Hi, Mrs. Kimbly. I noticed your house isn’t decorated for Halloween, and I thought maybe you forgot. I could help you put some decorations up if you’d like.”
Mrs. Kimbly squinted even more. “I didn’t forget,” she snapped. “I don’t need decorations, and I don’t need help. Now, go away.” She started to close the door.
“I could do it for free!” Kevin quickly added. “You wouldn’t even have to do anything.”
Mrs. Kimbly scowled. “No!” she shouted and slammed the door.
Kevin couldn’t believe it. How could someone hate Halloween so much?
If her house stayed undecorated, other kids might prank her with toilet paper or worse. Kevin sighed and started walking away, but a plan formed in his mind.
At home, Kevin found his mom in the kitchen, cooking. The smell of soup filled the air, but Kevin could only think about Mrs. Kimbly’s undecorated house.
“Mom, something weird happened,” Kevin said, sitting at the table. His mom turned, wiping her hands on a towel.
“What is it?” she asked.
Kevin told her about Mrs. Kimbly’s house and how she had slammed the door when he offered to help.
But when he said Mrs. Kimbly’s name, his mom’s face softened.
“Maybe it’s best to leave her alone,” his mom said gently. “She might be going through something we don’t understand.”
Kevin frowned. “But, Mom, she’s not mad, she’s just sad. Halloween should be fun. She shouldn’t feel left out.”
His mom smiled but looked concerned. “You have a kind heart, Kevin. Just be careful. Sometimes people aren’t ready for help.”
Those words stuck with Kevin, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Mrs. Kimbly.
With determination, he gathered all the Halloween decorations he could find—lights, spiders, toys, and even his favorite pumpkin—and loaded them into a wagon.
He hurried back to Mrs. Kimbly’s house and began decorating. As he worked, the house slowly transformed, but just as he finished, the door creaked open.
Mrs. Kimbly stormed out, looking furious.
“I told you not to decorate my house!” she shouted.
Kevin froze, his heart racing. “I just wanted to help,” he whispered. “It’s Halloween…”
Before he could finish, Mrs. Kimbly grabbed the pumpkin he had carved and smashed it on the ground.
Kevin watched in shock as his pumpkin shattered into pieces. His heart sank.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, then turned and ran home.
That evening, Kevin put on his vampire costume, but he couldn’t enjoy Halloween.
As he trick-or-treated with friends, his mind kept drifting back to Mrs. Kimbly’s dark house.
He worried the other kids might prank her, so Kevin decided to go back.
When he got to her house, he sat on her porch, handing out his own candy to the kids who came by.
“Mrs. Kimbly’s not home,” he told them, trying to keep her house safe.
After a while, as Kevin sat alone, the door behind him opened. Mrs. Kimbly stepped out, her face no longer angry.
“What are you doing here, Kevin?” she asked quietly.
“I didn’t want anyone to mess with your house,” Kevin said. “I just wanted to help.”
Mrs. Kimbly sighed and sat beside him. She was quiet for a moment, watching the kids on the street.
“I’m sorry for earlier,” she finally said. “I wasn’t mad at you. Halloween just reminds me of how alone I am.”
Kevin felt sad. “You don’t have to be alone,” he said. “You can still join in.”
Mrs. Kimbly smiled softly, her eyes teary. “Thank you for what you did today. And I’m sorry about your pumpkin.”
Kevin smiled. “It’s okay. I’ll bring another one, and we can carve it together.”
For the first time in years, Mrs. Kimbly felt the warmth of Halloween again, thanks to one kind boy.
Leave a Reply