My parents weren’t a part of my life for several years, and when they came back into it, they left me shaken! They unraveled a truth I didn’t know I needed to learn, and while it caused more of a rift, it ultimately brought all those involved closer.
Sometimes life throws blows that we don’t understand, and that’s the case in my story. One day, some people quite dear to me reentered my life with the most difficult news. What they told me altered my relationship with them and my young son forever. Read on to find out more.
It was a Saturday afternoon, the kind that begged for relaxation. I was home with my two-year-old son, Ethan, enjoying the rare quiet moments when the doorbell rang. My heart skipped a beat. I wasn’t expecting anyone.
As I opened the door, my parents stood there, their expressions a mix of surprise and confusion. For two years, we didn’t see each other at all. We talked occasionally, but those conversations were very tense.
“Mom, Dad, what are you doing here?” I asked, trying to mask my anxiety as my parents made an unannounced visit.
“We were in the neighborhood and thought we’d drop by,” my mom said, her eyes widening as she noticed Ethan in my arms.
You should’ve seen my dad’s face when he saw me holding my son. He turned a shade of pale I’d never seen before. “Who’s this?” my mother demanded, pointing at Ethan.
“This is my son and your grandchild, Ethan,” I replied, my voice trembling.
The first thing my father said, his voice rising, was, “This is not your child! I see it right away!” His words hit me like a truck. I was stunned.
“Of course he is! What are you talking about?” I shot back, feeling a wave of defensiveness wash over me.
“We need to sit down and talk,” my mom interjected, her voice calmer but equally firm. We moved to the kitchen, Ethan clinging to my side. Sitting around the kitchen table, the air was thick with tension.
I took a deep breath and began, “I was 19 when I found out Kate was pregnant.” I continued, “It would’ve been fine, but you both made it clear how much you were totally against her.”
“I knew you’d never accept our relationship, and I loved her very much, so I didn’t tell you about the pregnancy.”
“What?” my father muttered under his breath.
“I went against your wishes and stayed with Kate. That’s why over the years I’ve drifted away from you.” Sighing, I explained, “I became a single father at age 19.”
“You should have told us,” my dad said, frustration etched into his features. “We could have helped.”
Years later, when Ethan was old enough to understand, I told him the truth. It was a difficult conversation, but it brought us even closer. He knew that despite everything, I had chosen to be his father, and that choice was rooted in love.
My relationship with my parents remained strained for a while, but they eventually came to accept my decision. They saw the bond between Ethan and me and realized that family is defined by love. Plus, they weren’t willing to lose me and their grandchild for another few years.
Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. The journey was tough, but it taught me the true meaning of parenthood. Ethan and I faced many challenges, but we faced them together. And in the end, that’s all that mattered.
There’s One Method of Healing Trauma That Prince Harry Uses, and Here’s How to Practice It
Prince Harry recently opened up about his journey with post-traumatic stress disorder following the loss of his mother, Princess Diana. In a candid discussion, he revealed his exploration of a groundbreaking therapy that helped him.
The therapy is called eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) to address the debilitating effects of his anxiety attacks. This revelation offers a glimpse into the royal’s personal struggles and his proactive approach towards mental health care, shedding light on the significance of seeking innovative treatments of traumas.
In a video, Prince Harry can be seen undergoing EMDR therapy, where he taps his shoulders and moves his eyes rapidly. This therapy is relatively new and is used to treat PTSD. Prince Harry shared that he decided to try EMDR to deal with severe anxiety attacks he was experiencing.
Prince Harry mentioned that he was open to trying EMDR because of the therapy and work he had done over the years.
During a therapy session with UK-based psychotherapist Sanja Oakley, Prince Harry demonstrated how EMDR helped him feel better about returning home. He described feeling scared and helpless before, but the therapy helped him cope with those feelings.
Prince Harry’s openness about his experience with EMDR therapy sheds light on alternative treatments for post-traumatic disorder and mental health struggles. It shows that seeking help and trying different therapies can make a difference in managing mental health conditions.
EMDR is a therapy made in 1987 to help with emotional traumas. It’s a structured therapy where you think about a tough memory while moving your eyes back and forth. This helps lessen the strong feelings tied to the memory.
EMDR works on a theory called Adaptive Information Processing (AIP). It says that trauma sticks around because it hasn’t been dealt with properly. So, when something reminds you of the trauma, those memories can come back strongly.
Unlike other therapies that try to lessen your reaction to trauma, EMDR tries to change how your brain stores those tough memories. Sometimes, instead of eye movements, you might listen to alternating tones. Usually, EMDR happens once or twice a week for about six to 12 sessions. But it can vary depending on the person.
Benefits of EMDR therapy
- EMDR is a structured therapy and usually needs fewer sessions than ongoing therapies.
- You don’t have to keep going back to the tough memory for a long time.
- You don’t have to talk a lot about what happened to you.
- There’s no homework to do.
- EMDR doesn’t try to change your thoughts and beliefs.
Disadvantages of EMDR therapy
- While EMDR is known to help with PTSD, it hasn’t been studied as much for other mood or mental health problems.
- If you’re avoiding talking about a tough event, EMDR might not be the best choice. Other types of talk therapy might work better.
- EMDR can sometimes make you feel worse at the start of treatment. The person who created EMDR warns that this could be dangerous for people who have gone through really tough things.
The process of EMDR
EMDR is a structured process with eight phases, each aimed at helping you deal with traumatic memories:
- History taking: Discuss your past with the therapist to identify which memories to focus on.
- Preparation: Learn about EMDR and how the therapist will use bilateral stimulation.
- Assessment: Identify your negative and positive beliefs related to the trauma.
- Desensitization: Use bilateral stimulation while recalling the memory.
- Installation: Focus on positive beliefs while processing the memory.
- Body scan: Talk about how you feel emotionally and physically.
- Closure: Prepare for what may happen between sessions.
- Reevaluation: Assess your progress and decide if more sessions are needed.
As you go through EMDR, you may start feeling less overwhelmed by the trauma. It’s normal for other painful memories to surface, indicating that suppressed memories are being processed.
When grappling with deep emotional traumas, it’s crucial to seek out specialists who can provide the appropriate form of treatment tailored to your needs. Whether it’s EMDR therapy or other therapeutic approaches, finding the right professional can make a significant difference in your healing journey.
Preview photo credit Good Morning America / YouTube
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