‘Families don’t have to match’ – Black couple share their journey to adopting three white children

Sadie and Jarvis Sampson tried everything for years to get pregnant, and eventually they accepted that they would only ever be aunt and uncle. Then, one day, they received a text that completely turned their world upside down.

Since getting married in January 2018, the pair has been trying to get pregnant, so when that didn’t work out naturally, they tried everything else.

The Houston mother told Love What Matters, “Ovulation tests, prenatal vitamins, cycle tracking apps, fertility monitors.”

“We didn’t even try our luck at following the unsolicited counsel of strangers, friends, and family. We tried, prayed, and waited for fourteen months. Month after Month. pregnancy test negative following negative test. It appeared like we would require help getting pregnant. We even went so far as to discuss it with medical professionals.

The couple seemed to get little assistance from the doctors. Sadie was advised by everyone that she would get pregnant if she reduced weight. Since she had no other options, she underwent gastric surgery and shed 28 pounds.

“She informed me that since she was unable to give me the fertility medication, she would refer me to a fertility specialist if I wasn’t pregnant within six months,” Sadie recalled. I was ecstatic to hear that. We finally received a response other than “no”! We were ecstatic to hear “not right now.”

Unfortunately, though, the couple felt as though they had begun over after Sadie lost the weight and they were unable to conceive.

Connecting the Dots – Adoption Puzzle Fundraising EventAs everyone is aware, we received a call regarding our little two weeks ago.

Published on Friday, August 30, 2019 by Sadie Sampson

Sadie said, “I had always felt like I was meant to be a mother.” “I was still not pregnant even though my surgeon had spent a long time to warn me about how fertile I would be following surgery. Thus, we gave up. We came to the realization that our only destiny was to be our nieces’ aunts and uncles and our goddaughters’ godparents.

The couple had just come to the painful conclusion that they would not be able to conceive when Sadie’s friend texted her to ask if they would be willing to foster a child that a couple she knew was thinking about for themselves.

At first, the couple was apprehensive since they had been instructed by a caseworker to look after the child while the mother sought therapy. The couple was concerned that they would grow overly devoted to the child. But soon after, the narrative was altered.

The caseworker stated, “The birth mother decided she would prefer you guys adopt the child instead.”

“Holy crap!!” was the first thing Sadie uttered out loud when she learned she was expecting a child.

“Overnight, we went from not having any kids to possibly fostering one to, ‘You guys are parents!’” Still in shock, I listened to the caseworker as she spoke. After hanging up, I dialed my spouse! “Baby!” They desire that we adopt the child! They want us to have kids,” I cried out. Hold on! Really? He exclaimed, “I assumed they just wanted us to foster him.” “Nope!” “They want us to be his parents,” I remarked.

Over the weekend, the couple not only processed the surprising news but also braced themselves in case the mother had second thoughts.

On Monday, the mother not only expressed her desire for them to adopt the child, but also stated that she was prepared to sign the adoption papers independently.

At 33 weeks, their son had been born—seven weeks ahead of schedule. His weight was 4 lbs. 5 oz. Sadie writes, “He fit in one of my husband’s hands.”

Sadie said, “He was so small, swaddled in a white blanket with stripes of pink and blue.” He was early, therefore he couldn’t eat on his own, thus an NG tube was coming out of his nose. But my goodness, was he adorable!

The couple was urged to create a registry after they announced their announcement on social media. In just three days, 55 of the 72 goods they had advertised had been purchased.

Following the adoption of Ezra Lee, which was completed in October 2020, the couple had the cutest family portraits shot, sporting t-shirts that said, “Families don’t have to match.”

Through embryo donation, Sadie and Jarvis became parents to twin twins, Destinee and Journey, in 2021. The black couple, adhering to their family credo, “Families don’t have to match,” gave birth to three white children: two girls and one boy.

There is just one reaction for anyone who judges this lovely family: love is the strongest foundation there is.

My Father Went Fishing with His Friends and Forgot My 18th Birthday

Ryder’s 18th birthday should have been a milestone celebration, but the absence of his father left him feeling deeply disappointed. Learning that his dad chose a fishing trip with friends over spending time with him only added to his heartbreak. However, what happened next led Ryder to see things in a new light. Let me introduce myself—I’m Ryder, and I recently turned 18. Before I dive into the story of my birthday, let me share a bit about my life. Things were pretty normal until I turned seven. That’s when the arguments between my mom and dad began. I didn’t fully understand what was happening at the time, but I could sense the tension. By the time I was eight, my dad was gone. I remember clearly the day my mom sat me down and explained, “Ryder, sweetie, your father won’t be living with us anymore. But you can still see him whenever you want, okay?”My heart skipped a beat.
“But why, Mom? Did I do something wrong?” Mom’s eyes welled up with tears, but she smiled gently. “Oh, no, honey. You didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t your fault at all.” “Then why is Dad leaving?” I asked, desperate for answers. She took a deep breath. “Well, sometimes grown-ups just can’t live together anymore. Your dad and I tried really hard to make things work, but sometimes things just don’t turn out the way we hope.” “Can’t you try harder?” I pleaded, not ready to accept the reality. She pulled me into a hug. “We did try, Ryder. For a long time. But sometimes, the kindest thing we can do is to live apart. Your dad and I will both always love you, and that won’t ever change. We just won’t be living in the same house anymore.” And just like that, my parents were divorced. After the divorce, Mom took a job as an elementary school teacher, working tirelessly to give me a good life. I’ll always be grateful for that. But my dad? He became like a ghost in my life—always busy with work, friends, and his hobbies, especially fishing. Every weekend, he’d vanish with his buddies to go fishing, even when Mom reminded him that I’d be visiting. Despite everything, a part of me still longed for his attention. I wanted him to notice me, to be proud of me. So, I spent years trying to win his approval, hoping that one day he’d realize how much I needed him. But I was wrong. As my 18th birthday approached, I thought maybe, just maybe, he’d show up this time. Turning 18 is a big deal, after all. I planned a small party with Mom and a few close friends. I even texted Dad about it, and his reply gave me hope: “Sounds great! I’ll try to be there.” The day arrived, and Mom went all out—decorating the house, baking my favorite cake, and even surprising me with a new guitar I’d been eyeing for months. Friends started arriving, and the house was soon filled with laughter and excitement. But as the hours passed, there was still no sign of Dad. I kept checking my phone, hoping for a message, but there was nothing. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to call him. When he finally picked up, I could hear the sound of waves and chatter in the background. “Dad, it’s my birthday,” I reminded him, trying to hide the desperation in my voice. “Oh, right. Happy birthday!” he replied casually. “I’m out on the lake with the guys. I’ll catch you later, okay?” I hung up, feeling tears blur my vision. I rushed to my room and hid there until Mom found me. She sat beside me, putting her arm around my shoulders. “I’m sorry, honey. You know how he is.” “I know,” I whispered, trying to stay strong, but inside, I was shattered. The days after my birthday were a blur. I pretended everything was fine, but inside, I felt invisible. Dad’s absence reminded me that I wasn’t important enough for him. Then, a week later, Dad called. He acted as if nothing had happened. “Hey, I got you a gift,” he said.  “Want to come over and get it?” Part of me wanted to tell him to forget it, but another part still held onto that sliver of hope. So, I agreed. When I arrived at his house, he greeted me with a smile and handed me a long, mysterious package. As I unwrapped it, my heart sank—it was a fishing rod. “What do you think?” he asked proudly. “We can go fishing together sometime!” The fishing rod wasn’t just a poorly chosen gift; it was a symbol of his absence, a reminder of the very activity that had taken him away from me. “Thanks, Dad,” I forced a smile. “It’s… great.” He didn’t seem to notice my lack of enthusiasm. “I figured it was time you learned the ropes. You’ll have fun!” He then suggested we go fishing the next weekend, but I knew I couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine. “I… I can’t come next weekend, Dad,” I said. “I’ve got plans with Mom.” He frowned for a moment, but then his smile returned. “No worries, we’ll find another time.” But I knew we wouldn’t, and for the first time, I was okay with that. As I left his house holding the rod, I realized it was time to let go of the fantasy and accept the reality. I couldn’t keep chasing after someone who couldn’t be there for me. Over the next few months, I focused on the people who genuinely cared about me—my mom, my friends, and most importantly, myself. I threw myself into my music, practicing guitar for hours, and began helping Mom more around the house, grateful for everything she had done for me. One evening, as we were doing dishes together, Mom asked, “Have you heard from your father lately?” “Nah, but it’s okay. I’m done waiting for him to show up,” I replied. She looked at me with a mix of sadness and understanding. “I’m sorry it turned out this way, Ryder. I always hoped…” “I know, Mom,” I hugged her. “But I’ve got you, and that’s more than enough.” As time passed, I learned that my worth wasn’t tied to Dad’s attention. I found strength in the love and support around me and realized that sometimes people won’t be what you need them to be—and that’s okay. The fishing rod still sits in my closet, untouched. It serves as a reminder, not of what I lost, but of what I gained—self-respect, resilience, and the ability to let go of what I can’t change. What would you have done if you were in my place?

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