Look Closer… Vintage Photos That Were Never Edited

Few things are as satisfying as a trip down memory lane — and it’s even better when you find something you didn’t notice before. Because as Ferris Bueller said — life moves pretty fast. Here are dozens of pictures of celebrities and remarkable people of yesteryear in all their beautiful, vintage glory. The glamour, the fashions, the hair — whether classically elegant, effortlessly cool, or interestingly tacky, we shall not see their like again. Here’s to the movie stars who were larger than life, here’s to the rock stars who lived on the edge, here’s to the comedians who still make us smile, here’s to the bit players who had those moments of glory that changed their lives forever. It’s all good, it’s all groovy, and the rest is history.

Perhaps it was her Scandinavian free-spiritedness — Swedish-born actress and singer Ann-Margret seemed on call to be as sexy as necessary. Need an actress to smother Jack Nicholson with her cleavage? Ann-Margret would do it (in Carnal Knowledge, 1972). Need an actress to writhe in satin sheets and foam, then get sprayed by baked beans? Ann-Margret’s your girl (in Tommy, 1975). Need an actress to ride a large motorcycle in a thigh-high sweater dress and calf-high boots? Ann-Margret’s raring to go (in The Prophet, 1968). Need an actress who can shake her fringe top and miniskirt like a professional go-go dancer? Ann-Margret has that exact skill (in Appointment in Beirut, 1969). Need an actress you could cover in fluorescent paint and drag around a canvas like a human paintbrush while burly men in tribal garb howl and beat their bongos? That was so Ann-Margret’s thing (in The Swinger, 1966). Need an actress to wear a bra at a photo shoot on a chilly day? Not her thing, man.–Advertisment–

“Jungle Pam” Hardy, one of drag racing’s main attractions in the ’70s.

Jim Liberman was a drag racer who went by the nickname of “Jungle Jim.” He won a lot of races in the 1970s. Fans loved him for his flamboyant personality and masterful driving. But this is not a picture of Jungle Jim — this is “Jungle Pam” Hardy, Jim’s sidekick, who commanded attention at the track with her tight, skimpy outfits. She had a job to do, as Jim’s “backup girl,” she helped guide him as he drove his Chevy Vega backward on the track after a burnout. Pam joined Jim’s team in 1973, and in 1977 Jim died on an off-track car accident. Though she only did the job for four years, Jungle Pam remains the most iconic backup girl in drag racing history.

Burt Reynolds and Farrah Fawcett during filming of the 1981 comedy “The Cannonball Run.”

The 1981 road-racing comedy The Cannonball Run was packed with star power: Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Adrienne Barbeau, Mel Tillis, Terry Bradshaw, Dom DeLuise, Jackie Chan and 007 himself, Roger Moore. But you could have left all of them on the side of the road and powered to box office success with this supernaturally attractive pair of human beings: Burt Reynolds and Farrah Fawcett. He was the greatest heartthrob of the late ’70s; she had the decade’s hottest poster, and was the hottest lady detective on Charlie’s Angels, a show that was completely about conspicuously hot lady detectives. The chemistry in the movie (and this photo) wasn’t fake — Fawcett and Reynolds were romantically involved for a time.

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! You’re gonna lose! Lose! Lose! A miffed Maureen McCormick on The Brady Bunch, 1972.

Be honest — which of these three sparklers from 1983 would you have pegged to be the future governor of Minnesota? History tells us it was Jesse “the Body” Ventura (at right), and not Randy “Macho Man” Savage or the lovely Elizabeth “Miss Elizabeth” Hulette. Randy and Elizabeth would marry the following year, and she would later debut in the WWF as Macho Man’s mysterious, glamorous manager. Sadly, neither Macho Man nor Elizabeth are with us today. Ventura, who served one term as governor and has since remained a popular political figure, occasionally floats the idea of a bid for the U.S. presidency. That seems far-fetched, as American voters would never make a crass TV blowhard the leader of the free world.

Cindy Morgan as ‘Lacey Underall’ in a scene from the comedy film “Caddyshack,” 1980.

When the captain’s voice is heard speaking to the poor, heavy woman on the plane, the rich man mocks her. -A

An affluent man becomes displeased with being seated next to a corpulent woman in first class and begins to voice his complaints to the flight attendant.

The instant James Courtney spotted the woman seated beside him on the flight, he knew it was going to be a rough one. She was enormous! With her seated next him, how in the world was he going to travel in comfort?

The woman took a seat, jabbing at James with her elbow as she fastened her seat belt. “Observe it!” She turned to face James as he aggressively yelled at her.

She sobbed, “Oh, I’m so sorry. Please pardon me.”

“Pardon me?” sarcastically questioned James. Or pardon the three thousand doughnuts you consumed to reach that weight?

The woman gave him a startled gasp, and James noticed that she was rather young with a weak but sweet face. He was inspired to scoff, “Lady, you need to book TWO seats when you travel!”

The woman’s eyes welled up with tears, but James was in the mood, especially after noticing how cheap and dated her clothes were and how worn out her shoes were.

“I assume your entire budget goes on nachos and hot dogs, right?” he asked. So you’re not able to afford two seats? The next time you pass the hat, I’m sure everyone on the plane will be quite giving!

The woman turned to face the window, and James saw the tears streaming down her cheeks in the reflection. He said, “Listen.” “I’m sure my friend who owns a clinic down in Mexico would give you a liposuction for a lot less money!”

By the time James felt his discomfort from being pressed up against her soft weight had subsided, the young woman’s shoulders were quivering with sobs. He thus requested a Martini when the bartender arrived with the drinks cart.
In his best James Bond voice, he said, “Shaken, not stirred,” and then, “I don’t know what Moby Dick here will drink.”

The attractive attendant gave him a snide look while pressing her lips together tightly. Next, she spoke to the woman seated beside her. “Madam, what would you like to drink?”

With a nod, the woman dabbed at her eyes. “Please, give me a diet Coke.”

James sneered. “Don’t you think a diet Coke would be a little late in the game?” Though James felt a slight glow upon realizing he’d upset both the flight attendant and the woman, they both chose to ignore him.

While the woman next to him sipped her diet Coke, he reclined and bit on an olive and sipped his Martini. With a shudder, he realized she would eventually need to use the restroom and would be squeezing by him.

Shortly after he had finished his last drink, the flight attendant arrived carrying food. She placed a lovely tray in front of him and another one in front of the passenger next him.

“Are you certain that will suffice?” The flight attendant was asked by James, “Why do you think it would take a village to feed this lady?”

Disregarding him, the flight attendant continued serving the other first-class customers. “She really was impolite, wasn’t that?” James questioned the person seated beside him, saying, “I think I’ll complain about her.”

However, the other traveler disregarded him as well, and James proceeded to enjoy the genuinely superb meal. When the flight attendant returned, he was finishing the last of his wine, and she was beaming.

“Pardon me,” she began. “The captain would love to have you come up to the cockpit. He’s a big fan.”

After being startled, James noticed that the large woman sitting next to him was being spoken to by the flight attendant. She was flushing, nodding, and smiling. This implied that James needed to stand up and give her space.

After guiding the woman off of the aircraft, James resumed his seat. He expected to be forwarding a good deal of venomous emails concerning the first class service and conditions on the company’s flights to the management.

When the captain’s voice came over the speakers, he was mentally crafting some great diatribes. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he said. One of us is a celebrity! You will recognize the voice if, like me, you are an avid listener of “I Love Opera.”

When a beautiful voice began singing a few bars of a well-known aria in the cabin, the other passengers began to applaud and make joyful comments to one another. “That’s correct,” declared the captain. “We’re flying with the lovely Miss Allison Jones to perform a charity concert for world hunger.”

James winced as the entire aircraft broke into spontaneous applause. The flight attendant then approached. “Listen up, buster,” she replied in a harsh, icy tone. “I’m putting you in economy if you upset that girl again, no matter how many millions you have.”

James noticed the sparkle in the flight attendant’s eye as he opened his mouth to object. “I apologize,” he muttered.

“You don’t have to apologize to me!” said she.

After some time, Allison Jones, the large woman, reappeared, grinning and signing autographs for the other travelers. James shot to his feet to give her room to sit.

He smiled his most endearing smile and said, “Listen.” “I apologize if I offended you a little; I didn’t know who you were.”

James saw that Allison had the most stunning eyes when she turned to face him. It makes no difference who I am. Never, ever treat someone that way! Furthermore, you’re not sorry. If I wasn’t sort of famous, would you even be saying sorry? I mean, I can’t control my weight, but you can alter your mindset. Give up passing judgment on others.

James stopped talking, lowered himself back into his chair, and remained silent until their arrival in Portland.

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