Navigating changes in a relationship, particularly those related to physical appearance, can be a delicate and emotional journey. A Bright Side reader is having a hard time after his wife underwent plastic surgery. He shared a letter with us seeking our advice.
He shared his side of the story.
Here are some tips that we believe can help you.
- Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and understand why the changes in your wife’s appearance are affecting you. Are your concerns purely aesthetic, or do they come from deeper emotional reasons? Understanding your own feelings will help you communicate more effectively with your wife.
- Communicate Honestly and Compassionately: Approach the topic with empathy and compassion. Let your wife know that you love her deeply and that your concerns come from a place of care. Use «I» statements to express your feelings without placing blame.
- Focus on Emotions, Not Criticism: Avoid criticizing your wife’s appearance directly. Instead, focus on expressing how the changes make you feel. For example, you might say, «I miss the unique features that made you who you are,» rather than, «You don’t look like yourself anymore.»
- Reassure Her of Your Love: Make sure your wife knows that your love for her goes beyond physical appearance. Reassure her that you’re committed to supporting her through any challenges she faces, including those related to self-image.
- Encourage Open Dialogue: Encourage open and honest communication between the two of you. Create a safe space where both of you feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
- Seek Professional Help If Needed: If you find it difficult to navigate these conversations on your own, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work through your feelings together.
- Focus on Shared Activities: Spend quality time together engaging in activities that you both enjoy. Focus on building emotional intimacy and strengthening your bond as a couple.
- Support Her Self-Esteem: Encourage your wife to focus on aspects of herself that she feels confident about, aside from her appearance. Remind her of her strengths and accomplishments.
- Be Patient and Understanding: Remember that adjusting to changes in appearance can be a complex process, and it may take time for both of you to adapt. Be patient with each other and offer support along the way.
- Explore Ways to Reconnect: Find ways to reconnect as a couple and reignite the spark in your relationship. Whether it’s through shared hobbies, romantic gestures, or simply spending quality time together, prioritize nurturing your connection.
By approaching the situation with empathy, understanding, and open communication, you can navigate this challenging time with grace and compassion.
Kentucky Dad of Quintuplets Shamed for Walking His Kids on a Leash: ‘They Are Humans, Not Dogs’
A Kentucky dad’s life changed forever when he and his wife welcomed quintuplets into the world. However, he never anticipated the harsh critique and hate that would come as a result of his parenting choices.
Parenthood keeps moms and dads busier than full-time employment, and couples often have to learn new skills on the job. No matter how hard they try, they never get everything right, and the job becomes even more challenging when there is more than one child.
However, the joy of being a parent makes all the sleepless nights and sacrifices worthwhile. Sadly, people don’t see everything moms and dads do for their little ones, and onlookers can be brutal.
THE HAPPY FAMILY OF SEVEN
Jordan Driskell and his wife Briana adored their five beautiful children, Zoey, Dakota, Hollyn, Asher, and Gavin. Raising quintuplets was a significant life adjustment, but the couple enjoyed every minute.
Many online users weren’t impressed with Jordan’s parenting choices, and they made their opinions abundantly clear.
They had to come up with various creative parenting techniques to ensure their brood was taken care of and safe. Managing their household required full-time attention, and dad Jordan was always eager to spend time with his little ones.
STRUGGLES WHEN LEAVING THE HOUSE
Taking the children for an outing in the park or a fun day of entertainment might sound like a great idea, but Jordan knew it was never easy and always came with a few concerns.
Leaving the house with all five kids was a task worthy of a gold medal. Jordan and his wife initially used a six-seater stroller to help their brood get around. However, they changed their style and opted for something less bulky and ridiculous.
THEIR CHOSEN PARENTING STYLE
The loving parents started using a leash whenever they left the house with all five kids—and it worked for them! The proud dad shared:
“Kids are so curious — they want to run off and explore. For our own peace of mind and sanity, we use a leash. It also allows us to leave the house and do fun stuff as a family without being stressed.”
Jordan Driskell and his five kids. | Source: Tiktok.com/drixxleman
THE DAD’S REASON FOR USING A LEASH
Jordan provided another justification for using a leash, noting that his kids always wanted to walk when they were in crowded places. It was a safety concern, and the leash prevented any of the children from getting lost.
The simple tool allowed the kids much-desired freedom but also gave the parents a level of control. However, when Jordan shared a video in 2022, he quickly realized everyone didn’t approve of his parenting style.
The kids were enjoying a fun day at the aquarium with a twist—they were on a leash. The footage went viral, and netizens didn’t hold back.
Jordan Driskell and his five kids. | Source: Tiktok.com/drixxleman
CRITICAL COMMENTS
Many online users weren’t impressed with Jordan’s parenting choices, and they made their opinions abundantly clear. Commenters questioned his actions, and one person indicated he should have had fewer kids if he wasn’t up for the challenge:
“This is deeply disturbing. Teach your kids to behave so you don’t have to use a dog leash. Not cool.”
– (@maureenmurphygrzyb) August 2, 2022
“Bro they’re missing muzzles.”
– (@dtdjt091909) August 3, 2022
“They need to learn to listen to you and they need to learn to be independent. If you can’t control them them don’t have them.”
– (@Ada Hunter) August 3, 2022
“Leashes on kids should be illegal. You have your opinions but it’s just wrong, even rabbits don’t go on leashes, why should children?”
– (@_..maybe_) August 1, 2022
SUPPORTIVE COMMENTS
The comment section also featured positive feedback, with parents praising the dad’s actions. Moms and dads thanked him for putting the safety of his family first, while others stated it was a clever idea:
“I said, ‘I’ll NEVER put my kids on a leash!’ As a mother with two energetic toddlers at the same time, I grabbed the first monkey backpacks with leashes I could get my hands on!”
– (@authortraciejohnson) August 3, 2022
“Anyone who disagrees with his method has never taken care of five toddlers at one time! Even preschools use a rope system to walk to the playground.”
– (@graftymarie89) August 3, 2022
“I had one for my daughter – nothing wrong with it – she was able to run around but close enough to me in a crowd.”
– (@Ligita212) July 31, 2022
“If you are being judged for protecting your children, then the judgmental folks have no clue about the value of life on any level.”
– (mboyd1990) July 31, 2022
CONTRASTING PROFESSIONAL OPINIONS
Dr. Deborah Gilboa, an expert in the field of parenting and youth development, shared her thoughts about the use of a leash. She supported the technique and called it “creative problem-solving.” The doctor added:
“This isn’t treating kids like animals. The alternative would be just staying at home … Just because you can’t identify with the problem doesn’t mean it’s not there.”
CONCERNS ABOUT LEASH INJURIES
Another pediatrician had a different viewpoint. He noted that he didn’t support using leashes on kids because the method treated them like pets. The professional explained:
“As the father of three, I am well aware of how quick, impulsive, and unpredictable kids can be. But from an injury standpoint, I would worry about entanglement or choking.”
Questions To Ponder:
- Is the father justified in using a leash to manage his kids?
Parents move heaven and earth to provide and care for their children. Moms and dads indeed know what is best for their little ones, and if it isn’t harming anyone, parents should be allowed to do whatever works for them.
- What might be an alternative course of action for the father-of-five?
It is always easier to point fingers, but many people aren’t able to provide alternative solutions for struggling parents. For moms and dads having a tough time keeping an eye on all of their kids, it might be advisable to get additional help. Perhaps a family member or friend can come along while running errands, so a leash isn’t needed.
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