The child was born deaf? Leave him at the hospital, I’m not going to raise a child like that!” — said my wife, raising her voice.

— Our boy was born deaf? Leave him at the hospital, I’m not ready to nurture such a child!” — my wife’s voice rang with a fury I had never noticed before.

“— Olga, what are you saying? This is flesh of our flesh,” — I looked at her as if seeing her for the first time.

The doctor put his hand on my shoulder: “Congenital deafness, complete. Unfortunately, there’s no chance of recovery.”

In these sounds, which my son would never hear, reality was terrible.

“— You don’t understand, Sasha,” — Olga said.

“This is a sentence for us for life. Special conditions… We’ll just destroy ourselves. When will we live?”

I shifted my gaze to the tiny bundle. A small, wrinkled face, gently pink and peaceful.

“— I’m taking him home,” — I said quietly but firmly. “— What?” “— I said I’m taking the baby. Alone.”

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“— Are you out of your mind? You’re working part-time as an electrician! How are you going to raise such a baby?” “— Exactly the same as any other. Day by day.”

In the morning, I found that Olga had abondoned, leaving a note with two lines: “Sorry. I can’t control it.”

Five years of life together were only four words on a torn notebook page.

A week later, I delivered my son to my home.

“— And how are you going to manage alone?” — our neighbor Marina Petrovna called out from behind the fence as I approached the house. “— No idea,” — I answered honestly. “— But there’s no choice.”

The first months transformed into an endless survival race. I learned to alter diapers with one hand while working part-time job.

The village commented: “Poor guy,” “He shouldn’t have let his wife go,” “It’s not a man’s job to suffer from diapers.”

I realized a simple truth: my son didn’t know he was missing anything. To him, the world had always been peaceful. But that didn’t make him imperfect. In his world, there were just unsimilar rules.

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Every day, we learned a new language. Seeing my sleeping son in his crib, I often thought: “How can anyone reject their own child just because he’s not like everyone else?”

Fortunately, I had recently received a house from my parents and sold it, so I had enough money for living expenses, and I could only work in my free time when the neighbors could watch the baby.

Thus, we began a new life. 

After 5 years, Denis grew into a smart, smiled boy with unruly brown curls.

Our house was full of a language without sounds — a language of images and touches. I mastered the sign language for objects, actions, and feelings. My son also learned.

At night, when Denis fell asleep, I would call the representative of schools to register for study. 

“— Alexander, you understand that our school is not equipped to teach a child like yours?” — the principal, Nadezhda Igorevna, said softly but firmly. “— Specialists are needed, special methods…”

“— What if I accompany him to classes? Translate everything the teachers say?”

“— And when will you work?” — she sighed. “— Sasha, understand, he needs a boarding school for the hearing impaired in the city.”

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The solution came unpredictedly with the arrival of a new teacher.

Anna Sergeevna transferred to our village school from the city. I met her for the first time in our local store, where she was unsuccessfully trying to explain to Nina Fyodorovna that she was prepare for the local press.

“— We don’t have any newspapers,” — I intervened. “— But there’s Zinaida Petrovna. She delivers the mail and also collects and expands all the gossip. A walking newspaper, you could say.”

Anna laughed said:
“— Thanks for the tip,” — she extended her hand. “— I’m Anna, the new elementary school teacher.”

“— My son says you have a beautiful smile,” — I translated.

“— You understand sign language?” — she quickly questioned.

“— Yes,” — Denis responded with gestures. “— Dad taught me.”

To my surprise, Denis already understand a lot — he had learned to read some words by lip-reading and had taught himself the basics of math.

“— And an incredible attention to detail. He can’t hear, but he notices what others miss.”

One evening, when Denis was already in the middle of the tenth dream, we sat on the veranda.

“— You know,” — Anna said quietly, “— I’ve never met a father like you.”

“— What kind of father?”

“— A real one. The kind who doesn’t take the easy path.”

Six months later, their marriage came true.

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No fanfare, no noise, just the closest ones. Denis carried the pillow with the rings, beaming with pride over the task entrusted to him.

And then, six months later, a little miracle occured in our life.

Anna brought back from a trip to the city an experimental hearing aid she got through old connections.
“— It won’t improve full hearing,” — she concerned, “— but it may help distinguish very loud sounds.”

We installed the device, not expecting much. Anna picked up a bell and rang it right next to Denis’s ear.

My son’s face transformed — his eyes widened, his lips parted in amazement.

“— I felt something! What was that?”

And over time, Denis called Anna “Mom” for the first time.

“— Tell me about my real mom,” — Denis’s gestures were confident.

I knew this question was undeniable. But it still caught me off guard.
“— Why now?” — my hands moved slower than usual.

“— I want to know everything that’s left in the past before moving forward,” — Denis smiled.

“I’ve been offered a job,” — Denis smiled. “— At an IT company. Remote development. They liked my contest project.”

Despite deafness, he developed an amazing ability to see patterns in code that others missed.

“— Congratulations, son!” — I hugged him. “

“— A new stage is coming,”

“— I want to settle everything that’s left in the past before moving forward.”

When the doctors shared her about your deafness, she broke down.

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She was scared she wouldn’t deal with, scared of the life that awaited us.

“— She wanted to leave me at the hospital?” — Denis said.

“— Yes,” — I admitted. “— She said she couldn’t nurture a special child.”

“— Did you ever tell her about me? Did you try to find her?”

“— No,” — I mutted. “— She left for good. I heard she got married in the city, had more kids. I didn’t seek out a meeting. I thought — if she wants, she’ll find me.”

“— Do you regret it?” — His gaze was piercing. “— Staying with me alone?”

I smiled:

“— Not a single day, son. Not a single minute.”

“— What’s this serious conversation about?” — her hands fluttered in the air, creating words.

“— The past,” — Denis answered, then turned to me. “— I forgive her, Dad. But I don’t want to meet her. My real mom is here,” — he threw a warm glance at Anna.

“— He’s grown into an amazing person,” — she said, resting her head on my shoulder.

“— Thanks to you,” — I kissed her on the temple.

“— No,” — she shook her head. “— Thanks to your decision.”

So we sat together under the evening sky — not a perfect family, but a true one. She left because she couldn’t deal with my health. And we stayed. And became a family.

Vertigo Star Kim Novak Is Spending Her 91st Birthday with ‘Friends and Lots of Fudge’ (Exclusive)

Tuesday marks the 91st birthday for Kim Novak, the star of Alfred Hitchcock’s 1958 film Vertigo, who walked away from Hollywood over five decades ago.

“She’s spending her birthday having a picnic on her property with friends and lots of fudge,” says her longtime manager and close friend Sue Cameron.

Life is sweet these days for Novak, who lives quietly on the Oregon coast, surrounded by her beloved horses.

In honor of her 91st birthday, read on for an interview from 2021 in which Novak shared why she left Hollywood and found her true self.

How Vertigo Actress Kim Novak Spent Her 91st Birthday with 'Friends and Lots of Fudge'
Kim Novak in November 2023. Courtesy of Sue Cameron 

Over 50 years ago, Kim Novak, the enigmatic star of Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo, walked away from Hollywood. The woman who had once been the No. 1 box office draw in the world put her belongings in a van and drove north, first to Carmel, California and then two decades later to Oregon, to live her life as an artist.

“I had to leave to survive,” she tells PEOPLE. “It was a survival issue.”

“I lost a sense of who I truly was and what I stood for,” says Novak in a rare interview to talk about her new book, Kim Novak : Her Art and Life. published by the Butler Museum of American Art.

“I fought all the time back in Hollywood to keep my identity so you do whatever you have to do to hold on to who you are and what you stand for,” she explains.

“I’ve never done one of those tell-all books that they wanted me to do for so long, and I thought this is the kind of book I’d like to do,” she says of her art book. “Actually, I had written my autobiography and it was almost complete but I had a house fire and the house burned down and I made no copies. I just couldn’t go through it again because I had spent so much time. But it was okay because it was a catharsis just to do it.”

After starring in Picnic (1955) with William Holden, The Man With the Golden Arm (1955) and Pal Joey (1957), opposite Frank Sinatra, and Vertigo, with Jimmy Stewart, Novak was at the height of her career but still under the control of the studio.

As she writes in her book’s introduction, “I was both dazzled and disturbed to see me being packaged as a Hollywood sex symbol. However, I did win my fight over identity. I wouldn’t allow [Columbia Pictures chief] Harry Cohn to take my bohemian roots away by denying me my family name. Novak. I stood my ground and won my first major battle.”

Cohn wanted her to change her name to Kit Marlowe, telling her that audiences would be turned off by her Eastern European roots. She refused. In the late ’50s, she defied him again when she began dating singer Sammy Davis Jr. against his wishes and she fought to live her life as an independent woman.

“There was constant pressure to be seen and not heard,” writes Novak, “especially if you had a pretty face.”

“In Hollywood a lot of people assume who you are, because of the character you play, but also just because of who they expect you to be, how they expect you to dress,” she says. “It influences you because if you’re in some gorgeous sequined gown, you can’t run along the ocean and run on the beaches.”

VERTIGO, Kim Novak, 1958.
Kim Novak in “Vertigo” (1958). Everett

“I kept feeling like I was going deeper and deeper, lost in almost like a quicksand, where it’s swallowing you up, your own personality, and I’d started to wonder who I am,” she explains. “I realized needed to save myself.”

She found peace living and painting in the Rogue River Valley of Oregon and notes, “I needed the Pacific Ocean to inspire me, the animals, the beauty.”

“I wanted to live a normal life and a life with animals,” says the actress, who had always loved drawing and painting as a young girl growing up in Chicago. She was awarded two scholarships to the Chicago Art Institute before she was spotted by a talent scout on a trip to L.A. and her life changed course.

Once she left Hollywood, Novak returned to her twin passions: art and animals. “My teachers were the animals, not just dogs and cats, but other animals, horses and llamas, whom you have to meet half way, because they’re not ready to accept humans. I had to learn to win them over,” she says. “They understand a person who’s genuine so I had to become more real and that made me rely on my inner self — and that also encouraged me to paint. Everything seemed to flow from that.”

“You learn how to count on, not how you look, which is a big thing as a movie star, especially if you were recognized because of how you look,” she adds. “That can be a difficult thing when you change — but looks had nothing to do with it.”

She met second husband, Robert Malloy, an equine veterinarian, in the late ’70s, when he paid her a house call to treat one of her Arabian horses. She called him her “soul mate.” He died last December.

kim novak
Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak in “Vertigo”. Richard C. Miller/Donaldson Collection/Getty

“I don’t feel 87,” says Novak. “I don’t keep tract of the time. If I did, I’d be an old lady and I’m not an old lady. I’m still riding my horse. I stay as healthy as I can.”

In 2012, Novak revealed she’d been living with bipolar disorder. “I don’t mind being open about who I am because these are all characteristics which make you who you are, especially as an artist,” she says. “Now, of course, I have medication for it but the best medicine of all is art.”

She’s proud of her favorite films, including Vertigo and Bell, Book and Candle (1958), and has fond memories, especially of her friend and costar Jimmy Stewart. Says Novak: “He didn’t let Hollywood change who he was.”

“People can remember me in movies but I want them to see me as an artist,” says Novak, whose paintings were exhibited at a 2019 retrospective at the Butler Museum in Youngstown, Ohio. “What’s great about painting is, you become the director too. No one’s telling you how to do it. You get to direct the whole thing.”

“I’ve been influenced a lot by Hitchcock in my work because he did mysteries and at first glance, I want my painting to be a mystery,” she says. “I love being the director, the producer, the actor in my paintings.”

“This is who I am. I want people to see I was not just a movie star.”

Looking back, Novak says, “I’m so glad I didn’t do the tell-all book, where you write all about your love life. That wasn’t who I was. This book tells who I am. I just needed to be free.”

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