Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
Meet Peggy Bundy Actress’s 3 Children, One of Whom Is Already 30 – Photos
The actress who played Peggy Bundy on “Married… with Children” once revealed that the sitcom’s irreverent tone almost made her think it would fail. But the show’s success not only changed her career but also coincided with her journey into motherhood.
When “Married… with Children” first premiered, its brash humor and unconventional characters set it apart from other sitcoms of the time. At the center of the show was Peggy Bundy, the sharp-witted and fashionably over-the-top matriarch, brought to life by an actress who had first made her mark as a singer before turning to acting.
The actress pictured in 1986 | Source: Getty Images
While her on-screen persona exuded comedic confidence, the actress’ personal life was filled with challenges. In the early 1990s, during the height of the show’s popularity, she endured the loss of her first child. Over the years, however, she went on to raise three children, each with their own creative aspirations.
The actress photographed in California, in 1990 | Source: Getty Images
From Singing Waitress to Peggy Bundy – A Look at Her Career
Before her breakthrough on “Married… with Children,” the actress pursued a music career. She worked as a backup singer for industry icons like Bette Midler and Etta James, showcasing her vocal talents long before stepping into the spotlight as an actress.
The singer and actress performs on April 20, 1994 | Source: Getty Images
She even worked as a singing waitress, where she entertained diners with live performances of songs like “Brown Eyed Girl.” Despite her charm and musical talent, she jokingly recalled mishaps, such as spilling blue cheese dressing on customers while serving tables.
The actress and singer-songwriter, circa 1987 | Source: Getty Images
Her transition into acting came unexpectedly. She was approached to audition for “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” despite not actively seeking acting roles. “Are you kidding? I’m not even looking for a job as an actor. I’m a musician,” she said at the time.
The actress pictured on May 29, 1990 | Source: Getty Images
Still, her talent stood out, and the opportunity kick-started her acting career, leading to several roles before her big break. In 1987, she landed a role on “Married… with Children.” The sitcom was unlike anything else on television at the time, with its edgy humor and untraditional portrayal of family life.
Part of the “Married… with Children” cast pictured in Los Angeles, in 1988 | Source: Getty Images
As Peggy, she quickly became known for her bold fashion, big hair, and quick wit. In a 2021 interview, the actress recalled that for the first three seasons, she styled her own hair.
It wasn’t until the show’s growing success that the network provided her with a wig, signifying their investment in her character’s iconic look.
She also remembered the moment she and her co-star Ed O’Neill realized the show had become a hit. While on a promo tour, they participated in a parade, where fans cheered and waved at them enthusiastically.
The actress and Ed O’Neal pictured on the set of “Married With Children” in 1987 | Source: Getty Images
“We thought nobody was gonna really watch it because it was so irreverent and so not like anything else on TV,” she said. But the show went on to air for 11 seasons, solidifying Peggy as one of the most memorable characters in television history.
During the height of the show’s popularity, the actress experienced a heartbreaking tragedy that profoundly shaped her journey into motherhood.
The Heartbreaking Loss of Her First Child
In October 1991, the actress experienced a devastating loss when her daughter, Ruby, was stillborn at nearly eight months. At the time, her pregnancy had been written into the show’s storyline, but following the tragedy, it was removed and later dismissed as a dream sequence.
The loss was a deeply traumatic event for the actress, who later revealed her struggles with coming to terms with what had happened. She shared that she initially blamed herself, questioning whether she had overworked during her pregnancy or overlooked signs of illness.
“This is what they say about stillbirth, that 60 percent of it is God’s will and there’s no medical reason—and that’s what I was told. And I just couldn’t let go of the control of somehow, [the notion that] I had done something wrong,” she recalled.
For months following the tragedy, the actress rarely left her home except to visit doctors and psychic healers, seeking answers and comfort. It wasn’t until a close friend offered her a spiritual perspective that she began to heal.
The actress poses for a photo in 1988 | Source: Getty Images
“Sometimes we have these little souls that come in and out [of our lives], and their mission is completed,” her friend told her. This perspective, she said, gave her solace and helped her begin to move forward.
In the years that followed, she went on to become a mother to three children, but Ruby’s memory has remained a significant part of her life story.
The Eldest: Sarah White
Three years after the loss of her first child, Ruby, the actress welcomed her daughter Sarah Grace White in 1994. Sarah is now 30 years old and has pursued both acting and music. She studied drama in college and spent time abroad in London, which she later credited for helping her grow as a performer.
In 2015, Sarah made her screen debut in FX’s “The Bastard Executioner,” a series created by her stepfather, Kurt Sutter, and one in which her mother also played a role.
Sarah humbly acknowledged the connection that helped her land the part, describing it as “a little nepotism,” but also as a dream come true.
In addition to acting, Sarah has pursued a music career, releasing her first single in October 2022. Fans have often commented on Sarah’s appearance, leaving comments such as, “Wow, she is beautiful,” and “A beauty like her mom!!! 💜💜💜” on social media posts featuring her.
The Middle Child: Jackson White
Born in 1996, Jackson is the actress’ second child and has become a rising star in Hollywood. Although he was initially discouraged by his mother from pursuing acting until he turned 18, Jackson eventually followed his passion and gained widespread attention for his work in film and television.
The actress with her children Sarah and Jackson attending the premiere of the film “Shrek 2” on May 8, 2004 | Source: Getty Images
After briefly studying music at the University of Southern California, Jackson realized that college wasn’t for him and turned to acting. He made his debut in 2019 with HBO’s miniseries “Mrs. Fletcher,” which earned him recognition as a breakout star.
His mother proudly celebrated his success, sharing a post on Instagram with the caption, “Proud of him. The boy.” Despite her initial advice to pursue another career, the actress supported Jackson’s path in Hollywood.
Reflecting on his mother’s words of wisdom, Jackson admitted with humor, “It didn’t really work—I was still pretty childish in my early 20s—I’m still childish.” With Sarah and Jackson both carving out creative paths, the youngest sibling has grown up in a family deeply rooted in the arts.
The Youngest: Esmé Louise Sutter
In 2007, the actress and her husband, writer-producer Kurt Sutter, welcomed their daughter Esmé Louise via surrogate. At the time of Esmé’s birth, the actress was 52, and Sutter was 43. Although still young, Esmé has grown up surrounded by her family’s creative influence and achievements.
She frequently appears in her mother’s Instagram posts, drawing positive reactions from fans. In May 2023, her mother shared a photo of Esmé with the caption, “My beautiful Esmé.” Fans left comments like, “Oh, she’s like your mini-me,” “She’s so stunning,” and “She’s grown so much from her days at JAG.”
Whether sharing Esmé’s youthful charm, Jackson’s Hollywood breakthroughs, or Sarah’s creative ventures, the actress’ family photos continue to captivate fans, reflecting the life Katey Sagal, 70, has built beyond her iconic TV roles.
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