It’s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it’s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they’ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend’s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this moving act of solidarity on Reddit, where she received an outpouring of encouragement and advice from the online community.
She wrote:
“My boyfriend Steve (30m) and I (28f) have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 8 months. I was cleaning our apartment when I found a note in the back of a cabinet that read:
‘Dear Steve’s Future Girlfriend,
I know it’s you reading this because he’d never clean back here. I’m putting this here because I’m leaving him soon and want to warn you about him:
1-He will not clean;
2-He will not listen;
3-He will make everything feel like it’s your fault;
It’s not your fault, he’s just an incompetent man. I’m leaving him, I suggest you do the same.
Best wishes, Natalia'”
She added:
“I read the note and brought it to show to him and hear his response. He immediately ripped it up and said not to listen to it, that she was crazy and untrustworthy. I told him that the fact that he hasn’t found the note in the 5 years since they broke up is a red flag to me because it does mean he’s never cleaned back there and that he has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.
He told me this is just his ex continuing to manipulate and ruin his life, and I was letting it work. We continued to argue along the same lines, and I eventually left to spend the night at a friend’s place.
Steve has been a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. He has given me gifts and flowers and always tells me how much he loves me. He’s not wrong that the cleaning hasn’t really been brought up before, but the note made me realize it had been less and less and that we needed to have a full conversation about this.”
She went on explaining:
“He texted me afterwards saying he’s sorry that I felt like I had to leave, but that it’s a wrong move for me to take a note over our 2-year relationship and to leave him and our pets alone. I don’t know what to do or what to believe right now. I’m contemplating trying to find and reach out to Natalia.
Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, that his past should not affect our future. He makes it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I don’t know what to trust.
When we moved in together 8 months ago, the cleaning was 50/50. Since then, he’s been doing things less and less. I have to remind him to do things like to bring his plates to the sink or take out the trash, and I didn’t have to before. The dishes will pile up unless I do them, to the point he’s had leftover food mold on the plates.”
She continued:
“I’m not a confrontational person, so I was just asking him to fix it when it came up. The note made me reflect on it more and try to have an actual full conversation, and I will say I didn’t feel listened to when I talked to him about it.
I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning, and he got so stuck on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him, that he wouldn’t listen to what I think are valid concerns. He thinks I’m letting the note have “confirmation bias” so no matter what he says I’ll think he’s in the wrong.
Also, I didn’t leave him permanently, this all happened yesterday and I only spent one night at a friend’s because I didn’t feel like our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn’t let me sleep until I let it go. I’m going back today and wanted to get advice and feedback before I do.”
Other Redditors chimed in, sharing their own insights and offering advice to her.
- I’m so glad for you. It wasn’t two wasted years since they taught you a valuable lesson. I’m especially grateful for Natalia! Please tell her we love her for her kind solidarity and witty ways. Absolutely, leave a note — but better yet, leave two. One in the same place (he’ll look there; manipulative narcissists aren’t that dumb), and another in an even less likely spot. Sending you my best. You got this, girl! © occasionalpart / Reddit
- Well, he’s not cleaning, he’s not listening to you, and he’s making it out to be your fault “for trusting a note over him.” So, it seems the ex’s assessment might be accurate. It doesn’t look like he’s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don’t think you’ll be able to address it now without the note coming up. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn’t learned anything from his last relationship. © VonBoo / Reddit
- You’ve been living together for less than a year, and you’re already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks! If Natalia were truly such a manipulative, crazy person, she would have made much harsher and more dramatic accusations than these. © Arya_kidding_me / Reddit
- It’s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: “Hmm, you’re right, I’ll make sure to clean more.” That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3. But he’d rather be right, and he’d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything. © Mobius_Stripping / Reddit
- I’d be willing to bet money that the note is right. He sounds like the kind of man who will stop doing anything the second he decides a woman is fully trapped. The slow tapering off you’re witnessing is him testing the waters. He needs to figure out whether he just needs to waste enough of your time to get to that stage, or whether you need a ring or a baby to feel trapped. © Extension_Drummer_85 / Reddit
- “Don’t expect to change a man unless he’s in diapers.” This behavior will continue on, he’s gotten away with it before up to a certain point. He wants someone to pick up after him like his mommy.
Any time a guy says, “My ex is/was crazy,” is a MASSIVE red flag right there. It’s something guys have been saying since the dawn of time to belittle their former partners. He’ll say the same thing about you to his next girlfriend. You have to ask yourself, “Was she crazy, or did he drive her crazy with his behavior and laziness?” I’d leave your own note when you do finally dump him. And reach out to his ex, see what she has to say. © Equal-Brilliant2640 / Reddit
When trust is broken between couples, it often leads to a surge of emotional and psychological turmoil, including feelings of uncertainty and profound confusion. In a different scenario, a woman shared a fascinating story of her own sleuthing skills. She discovered her husband was cheating simply by paying close attention to his breakfast order.
Jennifer Lopez Had a Shocking Response When Asked Who She’d Save From Drowning – P. Diddy or Ben Affleck
In an interview with Big Boy on the radio, Jennifer Lopez—a well-known personality in the entertainment industry—found herself under fire. Lopez, who is well-known for her high-profile partnerships, was the focus of a pointed question. When asked who she would save from drowning if given the chance, the celebrity was forced to pick between her two well-known ex-boyfriends, rapper P. Diddy (also known as Sean Combs) and actor Ben Affleck. The media and fans were enthralled by her response.
An Brutally Open Reaction
Without missing a beat, Lopez responded with her iconic line, “I’d let both those motherf*****s drown!” In addition to startling the audience with her frank and shocking statement, she also showed her no-nonsense attitude on her previous relationships. It was a lighthearted but incisive remark. While talking about two of the most important relationships in her life, she gave Agan a reminder of her sense of humor.
Lopez’s past relationships with her ex-partners
Given that Jennifer Lopez’s romantic relationships with P. Diddy and Ben Affleck have been widely reported throughout the years, her response is all the more intriguing. Between 1999 and 2001, Lopez and P. Diddy dated; their relationship had its ups and downs. Despite being a regular sight on the red carpet and in tabloids, the couple’s romance ended bitterly. Complicating their past, Lopez later acknowledged that infidelity was a major factor in the separation. The two have however maintained their friendly relationship, with Diddy even publicly praising Lopez for his achievements over the years.
Actor Ben Affleck and Lopez started dating soon after Diddy’s breakup. The couple gained notoriety as one of Hollywood’s most talked-about pairs and were dubbed “Bennifer.” They were frequently viewed as the ideal pair after their brief courtship, which culminated in an engagement in 2002. But their relationship suffered as a result of the heavy media attention. resulting in their 2004 wedding being called off a few days before it was scheduled. When that time came, they parted ways. Although the couple’s admirers were happy to see them rekindle their passion in 2021, which resulted in their marriage in 2022.
A Jiff That Echoes Past Injuries
Even if she may have been making a joke when she said that she would let both men drown, it still highlights the emotional complexity of her previous relationships. Particularly tumultuous is Lopez’s relationship history with Diddy, marked by allegations of adultery and noticeable legal issues during their relationship. Lopez expressed her wish to close that chapter of her life in a 2001 interview, saying she was “done with all the drama” that followed their split.
In contrast, her relationship with Affleck has seen its share of unexpected turns. Their relationship suffered greatly as a result of the media circus that accompanied their first engagement. Affleck was dealing with a lot of personal issues at the time that had to do with his public character and business. This probably had a part in their first breakup. Before getting back together 20 years later, the two celebrities moved on to other relationships, which has since been seen by their followers as a tale of undying love.
P. Diddy’s Court Cases
Following Jennifer Lopez, P. Diddy’s life has not been without controversy. The rapper and producer has been involved in multiple legal disputes in the past few years, involving grave accusations of sexual assault and misconduct. His residences in Miami and Los Angeles were searched earlier this year as a component of an inquiry into claims of sex trafficking. Diddy has refuted these allegations, but the legal battles have clouded his reputation in the music business. In light of this, Lopez’s denial to “save” him in the fictitious situation seems to make more sense.
The Reunion of Affleck and Lopez: A Love That Persisted
Ben Affleck and Lopez’s relationship has seen a rebirth, in contrast to Diddy’s. Following their widely reported split, both of them moved on. While Lopez entered several high-profile partnerships, such as her marriage to Marc Anthony, with whom she has two children, Affleck married actress Jennifer Garner, with whom he shares three children. However, Lopez and Affleck were reunited in 2021 by chance. Nearly two decades after their first breakup, the two resumed their affair, and in 2022 they got married in a charming ceremony.
The media and admirers of “Bennifer” have praised her reunion, which represents how love is resilient to change and passes across all barriers. Lopez has said how much she values their second opportunity at love and called their new partnership “more mature and meaningful” than their previous one. Given this, Lopez’s witty yet caustic response in the radio interview highlights both her sense of humor and the resiliency she has shown in the face of loss.
A Lighthearted Snap With A Deeper Context
Despite being meant as a joke, Lopez’s response when asked who she would save from drowning revealed a depth of emotional nuance. Given Diddy’s turbulent past and her intermittent connection with Affleck, her answer sheds light on the nuanced dynamics between the two men in her life. Even though Lopez made the remark in jest, it demonstrates her capacity to look back on her past with strength and humor. Considering how much she has changed since those tumultuous days.
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