Marriage has its ups and downs, but there’s always space for laughter. The daily moments between husbands and wives can be heartwarming and funny, as shown in these jokes.
From surprising notes to clever replies, these seven jokes showcase the playful side of marriage. Whether you’re married or just enjoy a good laugh, these stories will make you nod in agreement and chuckle at their unexpected turns.
1 The Note Under the Bed
In any marriage, there can be moments of frustration, especially when one spouse feels unappreciated. This joke takes that idea to the extreme when a wife tries to teach her husband a lesson with a note, only to be shocked by his reaction.
A woman, upset that her husband was late coming home again, left a note saying, “I’ve had enough and left you. Don’t bother looking for me.” She then hid under the bed to see how he would react.
After a short time, the husband came home. She could hear him in the kitchen and saw him go to the dresser to pick up the note. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it and called someone.
“She’s finally gone… Yes, I know, about time, right? I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy nightie. I love you… Can’t wait to see you… We’ll do all the fun things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left. When she came out from under the bed, furious and in tears, she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. Be back in five minutes.”
2 The Pharmacist’s Explanation
Sometimes, simple misunderstandings can blow up, leading to confrontations. This joke humorously shows how quickly a situation can escalate when assumptions are made, only for the truth to make everyone laugh.
When a husband came home, he found his wife crying. She said, “The pharmacist insulted me on the phone this morning!”
Angry, the husband drove to the pharmacy to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. But before he could speak, the pharmacist said, “Wait, let me explain. This morning, my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up late.”
“I skipped breakfast and rushed to the car, only to realize I locked my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then I drove too fast and got a speeding ticket. While driving to work, I had a flat tire. By the time I opened the pharmacy, there was already a line. And the phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
He added, “I had to break a roll of coins to make change, but they spilled everywhere. When I stood up, I hit my head on the cash drawer, and all the perfume bottles fell and broke. Then the phone rang, and it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer, and all I did was tell her.”
3 The Family Secret
Family secrets can be surprising and funny. In this joke, a young man is excited about his upcoming marriage until his father reveals some shocking news, leading to a hilarious twist.
One Sunday morning, George rushed into the living room and shouted, “Dad! Mom! I have great news! I’m marrying the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away, and her name is Susan.”
Later, George’s dad pulled him aside and said, “Son, we need to talk. Look at your mom. We’ve been married for 30 years. She’s a great wife and mom, but she’s not very exciting. I used to cheat on her, and Susan is your half-sister, so you can’t marry her.”
George was heartbroken. After eight months, he started dating again. A year later, he proudly said, “Diane said yes! We’re getting married in June.”
Again, his father pulled him aside to share more bad news. “Diane is your half-sister too, George. I’m sorry.”
George was furious! He went to his mother with what his father said. “Dad is ruining my life. I guess I’ll never get married. Every time I like a girl, Dad says she’s my half-sister.”
His mother laughed and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s not really your father.”
4 The Fried Eggs Incident
Everyday tasks like cooking breakfast can lead to funny arguments between spouses. This joke turns a simple breakfast into a humorous look at how we all sometimes feel the need to give advice, especially when the roles are reversed.
A wife was making fried eggs for breakfast when her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful!” he said. “Put in more butter! You’re cooking too many at once! Turn them! We need more butter! Oh no, they’re going to stick! Be careful! You never listen to me when you cook! Hurry! Don’t forget to salt them!”
The wife stared at him. “What’s wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “Sure you do. I just wanted to show you how it feels when I’m driving.”
5 The Supermarket Strategy
Shopping in a busy supermarket can be stressful, especially if you lose track of your spouse. This joke shows how resourceful one husband can be when looking for his wife, with a touch of humor.
In a supermarket, Ivan lost sight of his wife. He approached a young lady and asked, “Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” asked the lady, confused by Ivan’s request.
“It’s always the same. As soon as I start talking to a pretty woman, my wife pops up out of nowhere.”
The Flu Revelation
Being stuck at home with the flu is never fun, but this joke shows how a man’s sickness revealed his wife’s true feelings in a surprising and funny way. Sometimes love can be found in unexpected situations.
A man visited a friend who had been sick with the flu for weeks.
“How was it?” the man asked.
“Surprisingly wonderful,” the friend replied.
“How so?” the man asked.
“Well, I found out how much my wife loves me and how happy she is to have me home.”
“How do you know?”
“Every time the postman, the milkman, or the trash collector comes by, she runs out shouting, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
The Late-Night Approach
Sometimes sneaking in late after a night out doesn’t go as planned. In this joke, two husbands compare how they deal with their wives when they come home late, revealing that a more direct approach can be the best way.
Two married friends were out drinking when one said, “I don’t know what to do. When I come home after drinking, I turn off the headlights before I get to the driveway. I coast into the garage, take off my shoes before entering the house, sneak upstairs, change in the bathroom, and slip into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out too late!”
His friend replied, “You’re doing it wrong. I drive into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, flush the toilet loudly, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, and jump into bed saying, ‘Do you want to make love?’ And every time, she acts like she’s sound asleep!”
Grandkids Destroyed My Neighbor’s House with Party While She Was at Husband’s Funeral – I Taught Them a Harsh Lesson
Grandkids Destroyed My Neighbor’s House with Party While She Was at Husband’s Funeral – I Taught Them a Harsh Lesson
My sweet old neighbor recently lost her husband and left to fulfill his wish to be buried beside his father, leaving her house in her grandchildren’s care. But the brats trashed it with a party and ran off. I stood up for the poor old lady and taught her grandkids a priceless lesson.
So, here’s a story about the time I had to teach some bratty grandkids a lesson they’d never forget. It all started with my sweet, kind, and friendly neighbor, Mrs. Jacobs.
Her husband, Mr. Jacobs, passed away recently. His last wish was to be buried next to his father’s grave, which was several hundred miles away on the other side of the city…
People at a funeral | Source: AmoMama
Mrs. Jacobs, being the devoted wife she was, went off to fulfill his last wish, saying she’d be back ASAP. She assured me everything would be fine while she was away.
Before she left, I offered to feed her two dogs and cats. Mrs. Jacobs thanked me but told me it wasn’t necessary.
“I’ve invited my grandchildren, Jordan and Ariana, to stay over while I’m gone. They’re in their sophomore year in college, so they can handle it,” she said. Famous last words.
An older lady walking on a porch | Source: AmoMama
She seemed so confident in their ability to manage the house and take care of her beloved pets, and I didn’t want to undermine her trust in them.
I’m a nurse, so I had a graveyard shift that night. The next morning, I decided to drop by Mrs. Jacobs’s house to check if everything was okay and maybe say hi to the grandkids.
A young nurse outside a house | Source: AmoMama
It had been several months since I last saw them, and I thought it’d be a good time to offer my condolences. Plus, I wanted to ensure Mrs. Jacobs’s pets were doing alright in her absence.
When I knocked on the door, no one answered. Weird. So, I slowly pushed it open, and it was unlocked.
For illustration purposes only | Source: AmoMama
What greeted me was pure chaos. Imagine empty alcohol bottles, broken cabinets, graffiti on the walls, stale pizza boxes, and clothes strewn everywhere. It was like a tornado had hit the place.
The mess was so extensive that it was hard to know where to start if you wanted to clean it up.
It didn’t take long to figure out what had happened. Her lovely grandchildren had thrown a massive party and left the house trashed.
A chaotic party scene | Source: AmoMama
I couldn’t believe my eyes. The audacity of these kids! Instead of being there for their grieving grandmother, they turned her home into a frat house.
They showed no respect for her or her property, and it made my blood boil.
I was seething with anger, but I knew I had to act fast. Just then, a cab pulled up, and out stepped Mrs. Jacobs. She looked exhausted but hopeful. But when she saw the mess, she burst into tears.
A shocked older woman | Source: AmoMama
It was heart-wrenching to see her so devastated by the destruction of her home.
“Nina, what… what happened to my house?” she sobbed, clutching my arm, her body shaking with the intensity of her grief and shock.
I took a deep breath. “I don’t know, but I’ll fix this,” I promised, trying to sound more confident than I felt. “Why don’t you stay at my sister’s place for a couple of days? I’ll take care of everything here.”
An upset older lady sitting on the couch | Source: AmoMama
Her eyes filled with gratitude. “What are you going to do?” she asked, looking at me with hope and desperation.
“Just trust me,” I said, giving her a reassuring smile. “I have a plan.”
Glistening eyes of older woman | Source: AmoMama
The next morning, I called Jordan and Ariana.
“Listen, your grandma is not well,” I lied. “She doesn’t have much time left, and she’s deciding who will inherit her estate.”
“Wait, what?” Jordan sounded shocked. My plan seemed to work and I knew I had his attention.
A young man talking on the phone | Source: AmoMama
“She’s got a significant amount of money in her bank account,” I continued.
“She’ll leave it to the grandchild who proves they care about her the most.”
“Are you serious?” Ariana asked when I called her next, excitement evident in her voice. I could practically hear the wheels turning in her head, calculating her chances of getting the inheritance.
A young woman in a cafe engaged in a phone call | Source: AmoMama
“Yes, and if she finds out about the mess you made, you’ll both be out of the will,” I warned, hoping the threat would motivate them to take immediate action.
Within hours, Jordan and Ariana showed up with a few friends.
They cleaned up the mess, scrubbed the walls, fixed the broken cabinets, painted the fence, and even took care of the leaky roof Mrs. Jacobs had been complaining about for months.
A young man and woman in a car | Source: AmoMama
I watched from my balcony, sipping on my cinnamon coffee, a triumphant smile on my face as they worked tirelessly to restore the house.
“Make sure you get that spot by the fireplace,” Jordan barked at one of his friends, pointing at the grime that had accumulated there over time.
A young woman clutching a cup of coffee on the balcony | Source: AmoMama
Ariana was on her knees, scrubbing the floor. “This better be worth it,” she muttered under her breath, clearly not enjoying the task but determined to see it through.
The next evening, Mrs. Jacobs returned. Her eyes widened in surprise as she took in the spotless house.
“Oh my goodness, Nina, I’m not able to recognize my own house! How did you manage this?” she asked, tears of joy streaming down her face.
A surprised older woman | Source: AmoMama
“Just a little trick, Mrs. Jacobs!” I replied, not giving away the whole truth. I wanted her to feel at peace and not worry about the effort it took to clean up the disaster her grandkids had left behind.
Her grandchildren hovered around her, eager to please. They competed for her attention, hoping to secure their place in her will. It was almost comical to see how quickly they had changed their tune.
Teary eyes of an older woman | Source: AmoMama
“Nana, I made your favorite stew,” Ariana said, presenting a steaming bowl with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. The effort was there, even if the sincerity was questionable.
Jordan cut in, “And I’m taking you to the new art exhibit downtown this weekend. Thought it’d be a nice change of pace,” he added, trying to one-up his sister.
Young man with older woman | Source: AmoMama
Over the next few weeks, I watched in amusement as Jordan and Ariana doted on their grandmother.
Jordan took her on a vacation to Miami, something he’d never done before, and Ariana drove her around town, did her laundry, and even cooked meals for her. They were going above and beyond to show their care.
Young lady in the kitchen | Source: AmoMama
It was such a pleasure to watch the grandchildren take care of Mrs. Jacobs and have most of her wants fulfilled. For instance, Mrs. Jacobs had a rotten tooth that needed immediate attention.
It thrilled my heart to watch Jordan and Ariana fight on the porch over who would take their grandma to the dentist.
Young man and woman staring at each other | Source: AmoMama
“You took her last time!” Ariana shouted, crossing her arms defiantly, clearly not wanting to back down from the responsibility.
“Yeah, but she likes my car better,” Jordan retorted, keys dangling from his finger, trying to assert his superiority.
An annoyed young lady | Source: AmoMama
You won’t believe it, but they started visiting their grandma regularly on weekends and even drove her to church every Sunday.
I was so happy for Mrs. Jacobs and the pleasant changes in her fragile, old age.
But deep down, it also saddened me to know that her grandkids were competing only for her money. It would hurt the poor old lady if she ever discovered this, right?
Woman sitting on a couch | Source: AmoMama
God, I hope such a day never arrives in Mrs. Jacobs’s life, or it would tear her apart.
One day, Mrs. Jacobs came over to my place, a radiant smile on her face.
“Nina, I’m so happy. My grandchildren have changed so much. They’re always around, taking care of me. I don’t know what you did, but thank you!” she chirped.
I smiled, squeezing her hands. “Just did what needed to be done,” I said, winking at her, feeling a mixture of satisfaction and relief that my plan had worked so well.
Happy older woman on a warm evening | Source: AmoMama
She hugged me tightly. “They’re taking me to a movie today,” she said, beaming with joy and pride in her “transformed” grandchildren.
As she left, I offered a silent apology, hoping she’d never discover the truth. I wanted her to live happily, surrounded by the love she deserved, without ever knowing the extent of my intervention.
Older lady and young woman embracing each other | Source: AmoMama
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