I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along. Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
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I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
“You thought what? That I could ‘improve’ myself like some project?” My voice was calm, but the hurt behind it was real. “Jake, marriage isn’t about lists or routines. It’s about respect. And if you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, you’ll be paying a hell of a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
Silence hung in the air, thick and uncomfortable. Jake’s face softened, his shoulders slumping as he let out a deep sigh.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t realize how ridiculous it was. Steve made it sound sensible, but now I see it’s… it’s toxic. Oh God, I’ve been such a fool.”
I nodded, watching him carefully. “Yes, you have. Honestly, have you looked at Steve’s life? What makes you think he has the life experience to give you advice about marriage? Or anything else?”
The look on his face as my words hit home was priceless.
“You’re right. And he could never afford to live like this.” He slapped the list with the back of his hand. “He… he has no idea about the costs involved, or how demeaning this is. Oh, Lisa, I got carried away again, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but we’ll recover. Now, let’s tear that paper up and go back to being equals.”
He smiled weakly, the tension breaking just a little. “Yeah… let’s do that.”
We ripped up the list together, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were back on the same team.
Maybe this was what we needed, a reminder that marriage isn’t about one person being “better” than the other. It’s about being better together.
New alarming verdict on Prince George, Princess Charlotte, & Prince Louis amid Kate Middleton’s cancer diagnosis
With her public announcement of her cancer diagnosis, Catherine, Princess of Wales, put an end to the many theories and conjectures that had been making the rounds in the media ever since her scheduled abdominal surgery.
She stated in the video that tests performed by the doctors after her surgery revealed the malignancy. She went on to say that before telling the public, she and William needed some time to break the news to their kids.
Royal analysts surmise that Kate had a purpose in releasing the film on Friday at 6 p.m., as their kids’ school had already ended and they wouldn’t be confronted with inquiries about it right away from their peers.
A palace source told the Times, “George is ten now and can’t be shielded from any of this now.””He won’t be able to avoid it once it’s in the school playground and at the school gate.”
Grant Harrold, the former butler of King Charles, claims that when Kate and William informed the kids about her disease, they approached each child differently. He thinks that when they told Prince Louis about her health problems, the couple probably “sugarcoated” them.
Grant Harrold told the NY Post, “I’m sure it was a very difficult and very different conversation between children.””I’m sure the conversation with Louis was more sugarcoated than it was with George and Charlotte, for example.”
“The older children can understand more, so I’d imagine it was a little more frank but undoubtedly staying positive, which is so important,” the former butler went on.
This explains why you now cry when you see the photo of Kate with her three kids. It’s important for any mother to have that talk, and you can bet Charlotte and George will be there to support her.
Louis is too little to comprehend her mother’s situation, he continued.
It’s a challenging one. He told the NY Post, “I’m sure the kids will handle it as any kids would be expected to handle it, but I think that will rub off on the kids because their parents are very good at being calm and collected.”
The kids will spend Easter break with their parents at Anmer Hall on the Sandringham Estate, where they may go egg hunting and have fun.
Easter Sunday mass will probably be attended by King Charles and Queen Camilla, but not by the family.
Danielle Stacey, the royal expert for Hello! Magazine, stated, “It’s understood that King Charles may attend a church service on Easter Sunday with a smaller royal turnout if his health allows it.”
“As he continues his cancer treatment, Charles has minimized his contact with larger crowds to reduce risks,” the spokesperson added. “The King has performed for small audiences at Buckingham Palace, but he hasn’t gone to any major events since receiving the diagnosis, like the Commonwealth Day service, the Korean War Veterans’ reception last week, or the late King Constantine’s memorial in Windsor last month.”
About 110 miles outside of London is the Norfolk country estate known as Anmer Hall, where the Princess of Wales is believed to feel “most at home.”
She previously stated that she is happiest “outside in the countryside with my family.”
She would be creating Easter cakes with the kids, and they would be decorating them with Cadbury eggs.
Three years ago, it was said that the children surprised Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip with “personalized Easter eggs, which they made and decorated themselves.”Grandpa Charles and Step-Grandmother Camilla will probably get one of them this year.
As previously indicated, their parents host an annual Easter egg hunt in which George, Charlotte, and Louis will participate.
“It was a real treat because they don’t let George, Charlotte, and Louis have chocolate and sweets every day,” the insider told Us Weekly.
In addition to playing tennis and going on family bike excursions, George and Charlotte also enjoy taking horseback riding lessons. Charlotte shares her great-grandmother’s obsession for horses. It’s her preferred pastime.
For Kate, spending time with her kids has always been a blessing.
“She constantly says that having her family around helps her get through tough times, and the kids always make her day happier. The Us Weekly source continued, “She feels incredibly fortunate to have her children and a wonderful family.
Thus far, Prince George has not experienced any negative effects from royal news. However, it’s possible that his mother’s illness will, regrettably, be his first introduction to the responsibilities of being a member of the royal family.
According to royal analyst Sarah Vine, Kate Middleton and William are “lucky” that their kids are still “quite young,” as it would be more difficult to keep them safe from finding out about their mother’s diagnosis online if they were older.
“It’s imperative to attempt to manage the kids because they will undoubtedly have a lot of questions and it’s just really scary knowing that your mother is ill,” she said.
“Plus, kids on the playground are cruel, so it’s better that it’s not exposed to the kids on the playground just yet,” co-host Andrew Pierce continued.
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