Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
Girl, 6, dies in freak badminton accident – wanted to be ‘saved’
A New Jersey family is mourning the tragic loss of their 6-year-old daughter, Lucy Morgan, who died in a freak accident while on vacation.
The incident occurred while Lucy was watching her family play badminton
During the game, a racquet suddenly broke during a downward swing, and a piece of metal from the handle snapped off, striking Lucy in the skull and causing a catastrophic brain injury.
Lucy’s father, Pastor Jesse Morgan, shared the heartbreaking details on his blog, New Creation Living. He recounted how June 1 started like any other day during their family vacation in Limerick, Maine. However, the day took a fateful turn, and now he believes his little girl is with Jesus.
The family quickly realized the severity of Lucy’s injury. Jesse explained on his blog that after the metal piece struck Lucy, she was immediately unresponsive but was still breathing on her own. His wife, Bethany Morgan, accompanied Lucy in the ambulance to a small hospital before she was airlifted to Maine Medical Center in Portland. They knew Lucy’s life was in grave danger.
“Upon arrival she went right to the operating room where they removed part of her skull to relieve pressure and deal with her injury. She coded, they got her back, and they completed the surgery,” Jesse wrote on his blog. “In the PICU we are being told that there is a very slim chance she recovers.”
Jesse Morgan shared that his daughter had recently expressed a desire to be with God. Just a month before the accident, Lucy told her parents she wanted to be saved and live with God. Jesse wrote that Lucy asked her mother about being saved, and after a brief conversation, she went to her room to pray.
“She went to her room and prayed to God to forgive her and that she believed in Jesus’ death and resurrection. What a gift,” he wrote.
Despite the medical efforts, Lucy never recovered from her injury. Jesse explained that the metal piece had caused devastating damage due to where it pierced her skull. Doctors informed the family that she would likely not survive.
The day before her death, he wrote, “The significant lack of brain function over the past 48 hours demonstrates this reality that we are utterly devastated by. If there is any good news in this, it’s that she hasn’t felt any pain over the past few days.
“We will keep waiting on the Lord, getting second opinions, and exhausting every possible avenue while crying out to God for a miracle,” he added. “However, as of now, our beloved daughter has been showing all the signs of brain death for the past few days. There is a very good chance that she passes away and meets Jesus within 24 hours.”
In the wake of this tragedy, the family has been surrounded by love and support. Many people took to social media to share kind words about Lucy and her family. Dan Cruver, a former professor of Jesse Morgan, spoke highly of Jesse’s character in a Facebook post.
“Jesse Morgan was a student of mine when I taught Bible and theology at Clarks Summit University 18 years ago. I remember quite a lot of students, but there are a few that you remember because they frequently engaged you after class and asked thoughtful, insightful questions,” he wrote. “Jesse was one of those students.”
To support the family, loved ones created a GoFundMe account which has surpassed its original goal of $100,000 and is nearing a new goal of $130,000, with more than $125,000 in donations so far.
Organizer Jill Anthony wrote, “This page serves as a place to provide them extravagant financial support – to help pay for meals while they are away from home, lodging for family, medical costs … whatever they need.”
Anthony added an update: “June 5, Lucy went to be with the Lord. Please keep praying for the Morgans as they walk through these next days, weeks, months, and years without their sweet Lucy here with them.”
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