Anne Hegerty, known from The Chase, shared that her biggest fear about dating is having a man invade her personal space.
The quizzer, who was diagnosed with autism at 45, opened up about her challenges, mentioning a time when she unplugged her phone to stop a boyfriend from contacting her.
At The Paul Strank Roofing Charity Gala in Kensington, London, she honestly said that she thinks she would make a terrible partner.
Anne, 66, said, “I really struggle with being close to others and having anyone else in the house.
“I think a lot of autistic people don’t get married or settle down.”
Anne explained, “I don’t even have pets because of this, and my ability to live with other people is getting smaller. I need a lot of alone time.
“I always feel like I need more space than anyone can give me. If I wanted a relationship, I could find one, but honestly, I don’t.”
She also mentioned that her longest relationship only lasted four months. Reflecting on that time, she said, “It only worked for those few months because I was in Manchester. I kind of set it up so it wouldn’t last.”
In the end, she wrote to him to end things. “I remember crying with relief and then crying with guilt,” she shared.
Anne felt overwhelmed during that relationship. “Sometimes, I unplugged the phone because he tried to call me every day. I just wanted it to be over.
“I’d sit there waiting for the phone to ring, thinking, ‘Don’t phone, don’t phone, don’t phone!’ Other times, to get over the waiting, I’d call him, but that made him think I wanted to talk. I really just wanted to end it. I didn’t want to talk to him or anyone!”
Anne joked that she hasn’t lacked offers from admirers who seem to like her “Mrs. Trunchbull” Governess outfit.
She said, “I’m sure some people are attracted to the whole look of The Governess. I think there are some who might be interested if they let me.”
Anne said, “I do meet attractive men, but I know it won’t work out. I feel like it’s not fair to them because I won’t treat them well.”
She added, “I always want more space than they can give me. If I wanted a relationship, I could find someone, but I don’t.”
She thinks it’s better not to date at all and enjoys having men as friends more than women. She recalled a quiz she attended in June, where a woman pointed out they were the only two women in the room, but Anne hadn’t even noticed because she was talking to her male friends.
Anne also shared that this is part of why she never had children, even though she is great with kids. “I did want children, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it very well.”
About 20 years ago, two kids from her neighborhood used to come over. “We limited their visits to just one hour a day, but they always wanted to stay longer. They were wonderful kids, and we’re now friends on Facebook, but I couldn’t handle that for more than an hour.”
Anne takes her role as godmother to Mark “Beast” Labbett’s eight-year-old son, Lawrence, very seriously.
She said, “Lawrence’s birthday is at the end of November, so I usually send a birthday and Christmas present at the same time—but they are not the same gift. My parents had winter birthdays, and I knew they hated getting just one present for two celebrations.”
Anne joked that one of the gifts she gave Lawrence was a bit inappropriate—a toy crossbow. “So, weaponry,” she laughed. “But lately, I’ve been giving him Minecraft vouchers since he really loves that.”
She also mentioned that she has spent Christmas alone for the past 40 years. That’s why she’s especially happy to be playing the Fairy Godmother in this year’s panto, Cinderella, in Scarborough.
Anne, who was on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here in 2018, said, “Now that I’m in panto, I can say, ‘Sorry, I’m in Scarborough!’ and that’s my only day off.”
She sees it as a great day off. Even though many people invite her to spend Christmas with them, she prefers not to. “I don’t do Christmas dinner or a tree. When I was a kid, I just remember all the pine needles everywhere!”
Earlier this year, Anne took on another acting role, making a cameo as a neighbor in a film called Exorcising Barry, which is about a man obsessed with a demon.
Anne said that any chance of going to Hollywood is out of the question.
She explained, “America wouldn’t want me because I’m fat. I have a friend who went there for work, and even though she looks amazing, they told her she needed to lose weight. I’m fine with how I am, but they don’t like fat British actresses.”
Despite this, she has had great success in Britain. Talking about The Chase’s recent National Television Award win, she said, “I’m so happy. Bradley Walsh is amazing. It’s been 14 years, and I love it.”
She added, “Other kids used to sing in front of the mirror with a hairbrush. When I was younger, I practiced being interviewed for when I became famous. I don’t know why, but it’s always been my dream.”
I Took in a Young Man Freezing on the Street on Christmas Eve — Later That Night, I Was Struck with Shock as He Crept Toward My Bed
I thought I was doing a good deed on Christmas Eve by taking in a young man shivering in the cold. But later that night, I woke to find him in my doorway, and my breath caught when I saw what he was holding.
Last Christmas Eve pressed down on me, heavy as the thick, relentless snow, the early darkness, and the silence echoing in the wind. I was just returning from the cemetery, where I’d visited my late husband Michael’s grave like I always did since his passing.
A sad woman in a cemetery | Source: Midjourney
I had stood there bundled in my thick coat, staring at his name etched into the cold stone, missing him with an ache that never fully disappeared.
But somehow, the loneliness was sharper that year. My son David had called earlier to tell me they wouldn’t be able to visit because Lily, my seven-year-old granddaughter, was sick.
Girl sleeping | Source: Midjourney
He apologized, adding, “Mom, we’ll come as soon as she’s better, I promise.”
“Of course,” I’d said, doing my best not to show my disappointment. I understood his position, but the silence in the house was almost too much to bear.
The streets were quiet as I drove home from the cemetery. That’s when I saw him. At first, I thought he was just a shadow under the streetlamp, huddled up and unmoving.
A quiet, snowy street | Source: Midjourney
But as I got closer, I realized it was a young man in a worn jacket. He looked frozen, his knees pulled to his chest as he sat on the curb.
And although I should’ve ignored him, and had done so with other people in the past, something told me to stop. I slowed the car and rolled down the window.
“Are you alright?” I called out. “Why are you out here in this weather?”
A woman in a car | Source: Midjourney
He turned his head slowly, meeting my gaze with striking eyes. They were the kind of light brown that stops you in your tracks, deep and piercing even in the dim light, and accentuated by his tanned skin.
For a moment, he just stared at me, blinking rather slowly. Then he said, almost too softly to hear, “I… I have nowhere else to go.”
I hesitated for only a second. “You’ll freeze out here,” I said. “Get in.”
He looked at me like he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing, but then he stood up slowly, brushed snow off his pants, and climbed into the car.
A shabby man near a car | Source: Midjourney
“What’s your name?” I asked as I turned up the heat.
“Carlos,” he answered cautiously.
“Well, Carlos,” I said, “you’re coming home with me tonight. It’s Christmas Eve, and no one should be out in this cold.”
He didn’t say anything, but I caught the faintest nod out of the corner of my eye.
When we got to the house, I grabbed some of David’s old clothes from the closet and handed them to Carlos.
“The bathroom is down the hall,” I said. “Take as much time as you need to warm up.”
A woman gesturing towards the side | Source: Midjourney
While he cleaned up and changed, I made hot cocoa, pulling out the marshmallows I usually saved for Lily. By the time Carlos came back into the living room, he looked more human and less like a shadow.
His now-clean hair curled beautifully, and the oversized sweater made him look younger than I’d first thought. He sank onto the couch, clutching the cup of hot cocoa.
A man holding a cup, sitting on a sofa | Source: Midjourney
“You remind me of my son,” I said as I settled into the armchair across from him. “That’s probably why I stopped my car.”
It was true, except it wasn’t so much his looks that resembled David, it was his aura. It was hard to describe. David looked just like my late husband, with green eyes and pale white skin. Carlos was obviously of Latin-American descent. But there was still something about him…
He smiled politely, but his eyes remained guarded. “Gracias. I mean, thank you,” he said quietly, correcting himself. “You didn’t have to… but you did. I won’t forget it.”
A man with a deep stare | Source: Midjourney
I smiled back at him. “De nada (You’re welcome),” I replied, though my Spanish wasn’t good at all. “It’s almost Christmas. Everyone deserves to be warm.”
I wanted to ask him more about himself, what had brought him to the streets, why he was alone on Christmas Eve, but when I tried, his face clouded over.
“It’s complicated,” he said, looking down at his cocoa.
“Fair enough,” I nodded, deciding not to push. Instead, I put on a cozy Christmas movie on the TV, and later, I showed him to the guest room and wished him a good night.
A woman in an armchair | Source: Midjourney
“If you need anything, just knock,” I said.
“Thank you,” he said again, and this time, the corner of his lips turned up slightly.
***
Later that night, I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. I was just starting to drift off when I heard a faint creak of floorboards outside my room.
I scrambled up in bed, every muscle screaming in protest, and turned to the door.
Carlos was standing in the doorway, his face shadowed and unrecognizable in the darkness.
A dark figure standing in a doorway | Source: Midjourney
My heart quickened, and for one moment, I knew I shouldn’t have been so nice. Bringing a stranger home was a horrible idea.
My heart began to pound in my ears as I noticed something in his hand. I couldn’t make out what it was before he started walking toward me in slow and deliberate steps.
Panic surged through me. “STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” I shouted, my voice cracking with fear.
A woman screaming in bed | Source: Midjourney
Carlos froze, his eyes widening in alarm. “Wait!” he said quickly, holding up the object in his hand. Relief washed over me as I realized what it was: a small orange bottle with my heart medication.
“You didn’t take this,” he said, his voice calm but firm. “I saw it on the counter and thought you might need it. My abuela (grandmother) used to take it every night right before bed.”
A man holding a medication bottle | Source: Midjourney
The fear drained out of me, replaced by embarrassment. But my hands were still trembling. “Oh,” I said weakly. “I… I forgot. Thank you.”
He nodded and placed the bottle on the nightstand before backing out of the room. “Good night,” he said softly, and then he was gone.
My body slumped back onto the bed, and I stared at the bottle for hours, feeling foolish yet grateful. I had assumed the worst about him, and all he had wanted to do was make sure I was okay.
A bottle of medication on a nightstand | Source: Midjourney
The next morning, I made pancakes, using the last of the blueberries I had stashed in the freezer. Carlos came into the kitchen, looking unsure of himself, and sat down at the table.
“Merry Christmas,” I said, sliding a small box across.
“What’s this?” he asked, looking genuinely surprised.
“Open it.”
He unwrapped the present slowly, pulling out the scarf I had knitted years ago. It was red and white, nothing fancy, but it was warm.
A man with a present | Source: Midjourney
“Thank you,” he said again, running his fingers over the soft yarn. He wrapped it around his neck immediately and smiled.
We ate in mostly silence while I wondered how to bring up the subject of last night. I wanted to thank him and apologize for having been scared.
But after Carlos finished his pancakes, he stood up. He walked to the door where he’d left his duffel bag and slung it over his shoulder.
“Where are you going?” I asked, frowning.
A woman at breakfast table | Source: Midjourney
“You really helped me last night, ma’am,” Carlos said, licking his lips. “Thank you. But I should go now.”
“Where will you go?”
He hesitated with one hand on the doorknob. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’ll figure something out.”
“Wait,” I said, standing. “Why don’t you stay? Help me around the house, make sure I take my pills. I could use the company.”
“Really?” he asked, hope flickering in his eyes.
A man looking hopeful | Source: Midjourney
“Of course,” I said. “You shouldn’t be out there on Christmas day, either. You can also work around the house as your way of paying for room and board. What do you say?”
Carlos simply smiled and set down his duffel bag again.
***
Over the next few weeks, we settled into a rhythm. Carlos was quiet and respectful, always making sure to keep his space tidy and never overstepping.
A man smiling | Source: Midjourney
We even had a great New Year’s Eve together. And although I didn’t push, I was happy when he started to open up.
One night, in January, as we sat by the fire, he finally told me about his past. His troubles began when his parents kicked him out.
“They didn’t understand me,” he said hesitantly. “They thought I was wasting my life with art. They wanted me to study something practical, like engineering or medicine. When I said no, they told me I wasn’t welcome in their house anymore.”
A man sitting by the fireplace | Source: Midjourney
So, he’d been ousted for pursuing his passion, of his dream of becoming an artist. Then life had dealt him another cruel blow.
A roommate had stolen everything he owned, like his few meager savings, and even items belonging to the landlord, before disappearing. He was later evicted for being unable to replace the stolen items. Finally, he lost his job simply for being homeless.
“I probably would’ve frozen out there if it weren’t for you,” he said with a soft sigh.
A man smiling while sitting by a fireplace | Source: Midjourney
How could this world be so cruel?
I reached over and put my hand on his. “You don’t have to worry about that anymore. You’re safe here.”
***
Now here we are. It’s a year later, and here’s what has happened.
With my help, Carlos found a new job and a small apartment nearby. He became a regular visitor, bringing laughter back into the house. He even charmed my son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter.
As we decorated the Christmas tree together, I realized how much my life had changed. Carlos was no longer a stranger I’d taken in; he was family.
A woman decorating a Christmas tree | Source: Midjourney
And while he always says I saved his life, the truth is that he’d saved mine.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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