Moms have a lot on their plates every day.
Parents have a lot on their plates and rarely get a break because they have to juggle numerous tasks throughout the day, such as washing the kids’ sticky hands and faces, folding their laundry, making sure they have breakfast and lunch, and getting them ready for school.
No matter how hard they try, there’s bound to be some kind of disaster waiting around the corner, like a glass of milk knocked over, a toy you accidentally stepped on, or a stain somewhere.
Few mothers can afford the luxury of a short shower before turning in or taking some time for themselves.
Some things we take for granted as parents are touched upon in a recent piece by Heather Duckworth, a mother who has been through it all.
The messes kids make as they mature before our eyes into the persons we’ve always imagined they’ll become are an integral part of that process.
It’s important to remember that our children will look back on the messes we cleaned up as adults and use those memories as the greatest testament to the childhood we gave them, so it’s worth the effort to find the joy in the midst of the chaos.
Regrettably, not all women get to experience the turmoil and clutter that children create.
Likewise, not all parents are able to enjoy the joy that children bring into their lives.
The popular post by Heather titled “The Blue Stain” resonated with many new and expectant mothers.
Heather’s heart started pounding as she scrubbed the grout her daughter had formed with the slime, remembering the disaster she had to remove all those years ago.
After a long day of running around after her two-year-old triplets and four-year-old older brother, picking up toys, and making sure no one got hurt in the piles of laundry she couldn’t finish that day, this mother would reflect, “My hands were full, but so was my heart.”
Before turning in for the night, Heather and her two sons danced to the radio while they tidied up the playroom.
Nobody could have predicted that it would be the last time they laughed so hard for a while.
It was just as she was settling in for a good night’s sleep herself that she heard one of the lads remark, “Uh, Oh,” and she saw the huge blue stain that would haunt her dreams forever.
The pen one of the triplets was holding burst in his grasp, spraying ink everywhere. His hands, face, and pajamas were all blue, giving the impression that the tiny boy was a smurf.
While she watched, Heather felt like a bad mother and began to get angry.
She hadn’t been angry with her son, but she did hold herself responsible because she had left the pen where youngsters could easily access it. Her feelings got the best of her.
“I gasped as I saw blue splatters across the floor and a thick pool of ink sinking into our carpet – our brand new carpet. I quickly yelled for my husband, who had been doing the dishes, to come and help me. I instantly felt so upset as I grabbed my son and took him to the bathroom to clean him up and my husband started scrubbing those bright blue stains on our carpet.”
Heather’s feelings of annoyance and fury would always resurface whenever she saw the stain on the fresh new carpet. All the wonderful times she had with her sons were symbolized by the stain until the day it was finally removed.
The youngster who spilled blue paint on the carpet was diagnosed with cancer a month later, and he died two years later, leaving the stain as a memento of their time together.
“It was still there . . . and now . . . it was a constant reminder of my son. It was a constant reminder of my frustration over something so trivial . . . something so unimportant in the scheme of life.
That blue stain was a constant reminder that life is messy, but that’s what makes it worth living. A constant reminder to not sweat the small stuff. A constant reminder that ‘things’ aren’t important, but people are. A constant reminder that accidents happen. A constant reminder to let go of the little things and hang on tight to what is important.”
She tried to cover up the vivid blue stain with the furniture, but every time she cleaned the room, there it was, staring at her, reminding her of her loss and the sorrow she was still feeling.
Heather’s story is meant to remind us of how often we take life for granted and fail to appreciate the little things that give our lives meaning. She feels the need to inform all the moms out there that the dirty laundry and strewn about toys are what really make the house a place of comfort and safety for their families.
Those messes, made by the people who matter most to us, are what make our lives worthwhile, as Heather puts it, because there will come a day when we will miss those moments very much indeed. “I would have a million blue ink stains on my carpet if it meant I could have one more day with my son.”
Her advice to moms: don’t let yourself get so wrapped up in the world that you miss out on quality time with your kids. Life is too short to be wasted scrubbing stains, so prioritize what matters most!
Please SHARE this touching story with your family and friends on Facebook!
My MIL Left Me During Labor, and What Happened Next Was Unbelievable
My mother-in-lawm. Each time she stepped out, I heard strange voices outside. When I finally saw what it was, I couldn’t move.
When I told Josh I wanted a home birth, his face lit up like a child on Christmas morning. But his mother, Elizabeth, was even more excited. You would have thought we had just given her the keys to a shiny new car.
Oh, Nancy! This is such great news!” Elizabeth exclaimed, putting her hands together. “I have to be there to support you both. I can help with anything you need!”
I looked at Josh, raising my eyebrows. His shrug told me he was leaving the decision up to me.
I don’t know, Elizabeth,” I replied, sounding unsure. “It’s going to be really intense.”
She waved my worries away. “Nonsense! I’ve been through this myself. I know exactly what you’ll need.”
I bit my lip, thinking it over. Maybe having an extra pair of hands wouldn’t be so bad, right? It would also mean a lot to Josh if I invited his mother to help with our home birth.
“Okay,” I finally agreed. “You can be there.”
Elizabeth squealed with delight, her excitement so loud it could have scared the neighborhood dogs.
The big day finally came. Our midwife, Rosie, was setting up her things when Elizabeth rushed in, her arms full of bags.
“You won’t regret this, Nancy,” she said, hugging me tightly. “I promise to be the best support you could ask for.”
“I’m here!” she announced, as if we could have missed her entrance. “What do you need me to do?”
I was about to respond when a contraction hit, taking my breath away. Josh was instantly by my side, his hand on my lower back as I tensed and groaned.
“Just… put your things down for now,” I managed to say.
As the contraction passed, I noticed Elizabeth fidgeting, her eyes darting around the room. She seemed more nervous than excited, and I felt that something was off.
“Are you okay?” I asked, frowning.
She turned, startled. “What? Oh, yes! Just thinking about how I can help. You’re doing great, honey. Just keep pushing.”
Before I could ask her anything else, she rushed out the door, mumbling something about getting me some water.
Josh squeezed my hand. “Want me to talk to her?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. She’s probably just nervous. It’s our first baby, right?”
As my labor went on, Elizabeth’s behavior became stranger. She would pop in, ask how I was doing, then leave again. Each time she returned, she seemed more flustered.
During a strong contraction, I held Josh’s hand so tightly I thought I might break it. As the pain faded, I heard a weird sound.
“Josh,” I panted, “do you hear that?”
He tilted his head to listen. “Sounds like… voices?”
I nodded, relieved I wasn’t imagining it. “And is that music?”
Josh frowned, kissed my forehead, and said, “I’ll check it out. I’ll be right back.”
As he left, Rosie smiled at me. “You’re doing great, Nancy. Not long now.”
When Josh came back, he looked pale, like he had seen a ghost.
“What is it?” I asked, dreading his answer.
He ran his hand through his hair, looking upset. “You’re not going to believe this. My mother is throwing a party. In our living room.”
I stared at him, thinking I must have misheard. “A what?”
“A party,” he repeated, frustration in his voice. “There are at least a dozen people out there.”
The pain of labor was nothing compared to the anger that flooded me. I struggled to get up, ignoring my midwife’s protests.
“Nancy, you shouldn’t—”
“I need to see this for myself,” I growled.
Josh helped me as we made our way to the living room. The scene was surreal. People were chatting and drinking, as if it were a casual Sunday barbecue.
A banner hung on the wall that read: “WELCOME BABY!”
Elizabeth was in the middle of it all, chatting with a group of women I didn’t recognize. She didn’t even notice us.
“What the heck is going on here?” I shouted, my voice slicing through the chatter.
The room went silent, all eyes on us. Elizabeth turned around, her face going pale when she saw me.
“Nancy! Oh my God! What are you doing here? You’re supposed to—”
“Elizabeth, what is happening here?”
“Oh, I… we were just…”
“Just what? Turning my home birth into a show?”
Elizabeth looked offended. “Now, Nancy, don’t be dramatic. We’re just celebrating!”
“Celebrating? I’m in labor, Elizabeth! This isn’t a party!”
She waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, you wouldn’t even know we were here! I thought you’d like the support.”
I felt another contraction coming on and gritted my teeth against the pain and anger. “Support? This is a circus!”
Josh stepped forward, his voice low and serious. “Everyone needs to leave. Now.”
People scrambled to grab their things, and Elizabeth tried one last time. “Nancy, you’re overreacting. This is a happy time!”
I turned to her, my words sharp. “This is my home birth. My moment. If you can’t respect that, you can leave too.”
Without waiting for a response, I waddled back to the bedroom to finish what I started, leaving Josh to handle the chaos.
Hours later, as I held my newborn son, the earlier drama felt like a distant nightmare. Josh sat beside me, eyes full of wonder as he stroked our baby’s cheek.
“He’s perfect!” he whispered.
I nodded, too overwhelmed for words. We enjoyed the quiet until a soft knock at the door broke the peace.
Elizabeth peeked in, her eyes red. “Can I… can I come in?”
My jaw tightened. “No!”
Her face fell. “Please, Nancy. I’m so sorry. I just want to see the baby.”
I looked at Josh, feeling torn. He squeezed my hand gently, his eyes understanding but pleading.
“Fine. Five minutes.”
Elizabeth walked in slowly, as if worried I might change my mind. Her face looked pale and drawn as she came closer to the bed.
“Nancy, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I got so excited and carried away.”
I didn’t respond, just stared at her. Josh cleared his throat. “Do you want to see your grandson, Mom?”
Elizabeth nodded, tears falling as Josh carefully handed our son to her. As she held him, her whole demeanor changed. The party-planner was gone, replaced by a gentle, awed grandmother.
After a few minutes, I spoke up. “It’s time for him to feed.”
Elizabeth nodded and reluctantly gave the baby back to me. She lingered at the door. “Thank you for letting me see him,” she said softly before leaving.
As the door closed, Josh turned to me. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head. “No. What she did… I can’t just forgive and forget, Josh.”
He nodded and pulled me close. “I understand. We’ll work it out together.”
In the weeks that followed, I struggled with how to move on. Part of me wanted to keep Elizabeth away from our son’s first celebration as revenge for her party crash.
I was still angry and hurt, which made it hard to think about including her.
But as I watched her care for our baby during her visits, always respectful of our space and routines, I realized there was a better way.
When it was time to plan the baby’s first party, I picked up the phone and called her.
“Elizabeth? It’s Nancy. I was hoping you could help with the preparations for the baby’s party next weekend.”
There was a long silence on the line. Finally, she spoke. “You want my help? After what I did?”
“Yes. Because this is what family does. We forgive, learn, and move forward together.”
I could hear tears in her voice as she replied, “Oh, Nancy. Thank you. I promise I won’t let you down.”
True to her word, Elizabeth was calm and helpful during the party. She worked quietly in the background, glowing with pride as we introduced our son to family and friends.
As the last guest left, she came up to me, her eyes shining. “Thank you for letting me be part of this, Nancy. I see now that this is how we celebrate: with love and respect.”
I smiled, feeling the barriers between us break down. “That’s right, Elizabeth. Welcome to the family!”
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