Parenting isn’t just a full-time job, it’s also often a comedy special you didn’t sign up for. From grocery store tantrums to kids with snappy comebacks, these hilarious moments prove kids and their parents are the ultimate jokesters!
The Case of the Missing Ladle
John, a well-to-do bachelor, invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the meal, the mum couldn’t help but notice how attractive her son’s housekeeper was and wondered if there was more going on than meets the eye.
A housekeeper | Source: Pexels
John sensing what his mother was thinking said to her: “I know what you’re thinking, mum, but I assure you my relationship with the housekeeper is purely professional.”
A week later, the housekeeper told John that ever since his mother’s visit a silver gravy ladle has been missing. John sent his mother a note that said: “Mom, I’m not saying you did take the gravy ladle, and I’m not saying you didn’t, but the fact remains one has been missing since you were here.”
A gravy ladle | Source: Midjourney
A few days later he receives a note from his mother. “I’m not saying you’re involved with your housekeeper, and I’m not saying you’re not. But if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would’ve found the ladle by now.”
Mom’s Final Resting Place
A 97-year-old woman sits down with her attorney to discuss her last wishes.
An attorney in his office | Source: Pexels
“I have two requests before I die,” she begins. “First, I want to be cremated.”
The attorney nods respectfully. “Of course, I can arrange that.”
The woman continues, “And second, I’d like my ashes to be scattered over the roof of the Walmart down the road.”
A convenience store | Source: Pexels
The attorney blinks in surprise. “Walmart? Why Walmart?”
The old woman chuckles. “Because that way, I know my daughters will come to see me at least twice a week!”
The Birds, the Bees, and the Backfire
A mom calls her young daughter into the kitchen for “The Talk.”
A mother cooking with her daughter | Source: Pexels
Clearing her throat, she says, “Sweetie, I think it’s time we discussed… you know… sex.”
The daughter smirks and replies, “Alright, Mom! So, what have you heard so far?”
The Whisper Lesson
One evening, a little boy runs into the living room full of guests and shouts, “MOM! I GOTTA PEE!”
A boy shouting | Source: Pexels
Embarrassed, his mom pulls him aside and says, “Sweetie, we don’t say that. Instead, just say you need to whisper if you have to go to the bathroom.”
The next night, he tries it out. “Mom, I need to whisper,” he says quietly, and she takes him to the bathroom, proud of his new manners.
Later, he finds his dad watching TV and says, “Dad, I need to whisper.”
A boy talking to his father | Source: Midjourney
Without looking away from the screen, his dad grins and says, “Alright, buddy — whisper in my ear.”
Secrets Unlocked
A little girl sits in the backseat as her mom drives her to a playdate. Out of the blue, the girl asks, “Mommy, how old are you?”
Her mom sighs and says, “Sweetie, that’s not a polite question to ask someone.”
A serious woman driving | Source: Pexels
The girl thinks for a moment and then asks, “Okay, how much do you weigh?”
Annoyed, the mom responds, “That’s none of your business.”
Not giving up, the little girl asks, “Well, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?”
The mom, now clearly frustrated, snaps, “That’s enough! Stop asking so many personal questions!”
An angry woman driving | Source: Midjourney
Later that day, the little girl is telling her friend about the conversation. Her friend then tells her, “Just go and look at her driving license! It’s like a report card.”
The next day, the girl proudly announces to her mother, “I figured out everything about you, Mommy! I looked at your driver’s license. You’re 35, weigh 145 pounds, and you and Daddy got a divorce because you got an ‘F’ in sex!”
A smiling little girl | Source: Pexels
God Will Provide… Apparently
A young woman brings her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother suggests that her father get to know the young man better, so the father invites him to his study for a drink.
The father begins, “So, what are your plans for the future?”
A family dinner | Source: Pexels
The fiancé replies confidently, “I’m a scholar, sir.”
The father nods, then asks, “That’s admirable, but how will you provide a nice home for my daughter?”
The fiancé smiles. “I will study hard, sir, and God will provide.”
“And what about a beautiful engagement ring?” the father presses.
An engagement ring | Source: Pexels
“I will focus on my studies, and God will provide,” the fiancé repeats.
The father narrows his eyes. “And children? How will you support them?”
“Don’t worry, sir. God will provide.”
Later, the mother asks her husband how the conversation went.
A mature couple talking | Source: Pexels
He sighs and says, “The boy has no job, no plans, and worst of all, he thinks I’m God.”
Missy’s Grocery Store Adventure
A man notices a woman with a three-year-old in her shopping cart.
In the cookie aisle, the little girl screams for cookies. The mom calmly says, “Now, Missy, we’re almost done. Don’t make a fuss.”
A woman with a child in a store | Source: Pexels
In the candy section, the girl starts whining. The mom replies gently, “There, there, Missy. Just two more aisles, and we’ll be checking out.”
At the checkout line, the girl howls for gum. The mom reassures, “Missy, we’ll be home soon for a bottle and a nap.”
Impressed by her patience, the man compliments her in the parking lot. “I admire how calm you stayed with little Missy,” he says.
A man talking to a woman in a store | Source: Midjourney
The woman smiles tiredly. “Oh, no, my daughter’s name is Francine. I’m Missy.”
Family Secrets Unveiled
A son excitedly tells his dad, “Dad, I’m getting married!”
The dad smiles. “That’s great news! Who’s the lucky girl?”
“It’s Sally, the girl next door!” the son replies.
A happy smiling man | Source: Pexels
The dad’s face falls. “Son, I need to tell you something. Years ago, I made a mistake… Sally is your sister.”
Shocked, the son says, “Okay, then I’ll marry Katie, my old high school friend.”
The dad shakes his head. “I’m sorry, son, but Katie is also your sister.”
A smiling mature man | Source: Pexels
Frustrated, the son storms into the kitchen, where his mom is sitting. Having overheard the commotion, she looks up and says, “Marry whoever you want, dear! He’s not your real father anyway!”
Mom Always Knows
A young man says to his mom, “Mom, tonight I’m bringing over three girls. One of them is the one I want to marry. Let’s see if you can figure out which one it is.”
A man talking on his phone | Source: Pexels
That evening, the three girls come over for dinner. After they leave, the son asks, “So, Mom, which one do you think it is?”
Without hesitation, she replies, “It’s the one who sat in the middle.”
Amazed, he asks, “Wow, you’re right! How did you know?”
An excited smiling man | Source: Pexels
She smirks and says, “Because she’s already annoying me.”
Counting Lessons
A kid comes home from school with a black eye. His mom gasps and says, “Didn’t I tell you to be smart and count to a hundred before getting into a fight?”
The kid sighs and replies, “I did, Mom! But while I was counting to a hundred like you said, Billy punched me in the face. His parents only told him to count to fifty!”
A smiling small boy | Source: Pexels
Pantry Predicament
Mom says, “Tom, this morning I left two pieces of cake in the pantry, and now there’s only one. Can you explain that?”
Tom replies, “Well, Mom, it was really dark in there… I didn’t see the second piece!”
A chocolate cake | Source: Pexels
Parenting Logic
My 8-year-old was fighting with her sisters, so I asked, “All right, who started it?”
Without missing a beat, she replied, “You did — when you decided to have so many kids.”
An angry young girl | Source: Pexels
If you liked this, here’s some more jokes to tickle you blue:
7 Jokes with the Most Unexpected Plot Twists
Laughter is the best way to brighten your day, and we’ve got seven hilarious jokes that are sure to do just that! From marriage counseling gone wrong to jaw-dropping family secrets, these stories will have you laughing out loud. Get ready for a fun ride full of surprises!
Who doesn’t love a good laugh? Whether you’ve had a rough day or just need a little pick-me-up, we’ve got you covered.
A group of friends laughing | Source: Pexels
These jokes are guaranteed to brighten your mood. From husbands with some wild misunderstandings to surprising family twists, there’s something here for everyone.
Ready? Let’s dive into the fun!
Marriage Counseling with a Twist
After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife sit in front of a therapist. The wife starts in on a long list of grievances: “He doesn’t listen to me, he’s distant, we haven’t been close in ages. I feel neglected, lonely, unloved…”
A couple in therapy | Source: Pexels
She keeps going and going, pouring out years of frustration. Finally, the therapist stands up, walks around his desk, and approaches the wife.
He asks her to stand and proceeds to lean in and give her a long, passionate kiss. The husband looks on in surprise, and the wife? She’s left completely speechless by the intensity of their therapist’s kiss.
A shocked woman | Source: Pexels
The therapist turns to the husband and says, “Your wife needs this at least three times a week if you’re serious about saving your marriage. Can you manage that?”
Wanna read the rest of the joke?
Poor Janitor Buys Old Doll at Flea Market, Gives it to Child & Hears Crackling Sound from It — Story of the Day
A poor janitor buys an old doll for her daughter at a flea market and hears a crackling sound as she hands it to her. What she discovers brings her to tears.
“Oh, this one’s lovely. Eve will love it!” Pauline exclaimed as she stopped by a stall where a woman was selling toys.
Pauline was a single mother to her 8-year-old daughter Eve and worked as a janitor. Her husband had died years ago due to cancer, and since then, she’d been raising Eve on her own.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
When Pauline saw the doll at the flea market, she knew it would be the best birthday present for Eve. Unfortunately, she didn’t have enough money to buy anything expensive, so looking for something at the flea market was her best option.
When Pauline decided to buy the doll, she was so preoccupied with the thoughts of Eve that she didn’t bother to inspect it. Two days later, when she gave it to Eve on her birthday, she heard a weird crackling sound coming from the doll…
A few days earlier…
“Mommy,” said Eve sadly. “Can you get me a doll?”
“Honey,” Pauline gently replied. “You know we’re on a tight budget this month. Mommy will buy you one next month. That’s a promise.”
“But mommy…” Eve’s voice began to crack. “My birthday is in two days. Did you forget about it?”
“Oh, no, no, sweetheart! Not at all!” Pauline said, but she had actually forgotten and felt terrible about it.
“Are you still not going to get me a doll? I don’t have any friends, mommy. Nobody wants to be friends with me because we are poor. That doll can be my best friend…”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“Oh honey,” Pauline hugged Eve. “I will get you the doll. Promise. Don’t be sad, ok?”
Pauline knew the kids at Eve’s school didn’t treat her well because she wasn’t as rich as them, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. Children can be cruel at times.
Present day…
Pauline was delighted after buying the doll. She couldn’t wait to give it to Eve and see her beautiful smile. The doll was one of those vintage kinds, holding a tiny baby in her arms.
“Oh, Eve will be so happy!” Pauline thought on her way back home.
***
And Eve was. The little girl’s joy knew no bounds when Pauline showed her the doll on her birthday.
Sometimes, the cause of someone’s smile is the source of another person’s grief.
“Ta-da! Mommy got the doll for Evie!” Pauline exclaimed, holding the doll in her hands. “Can mommy have a kiss for that?”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“It’s so pretty! Thank you, mommy!” Eve chirped as she kissed Pauline on the cheek.
As Pauline handed over the doll to Eve, she suddenly heard a strange crackling sound.
“What was that?” Pauline wondered.
She shook the doll, holding it close to her ears, and heard the crackling again.
“Mommy! Give it here! I wanna hold my doll! Please! Please!” Eve said, excited to play with it.
“One second, honey. I think there’s something in here…”
It was then that Pauline examined the doll and found a secret pocket sewn into the doll’s outfit. She undid the loose threads around it, and a note fell from it.
Eve quickly picked it up and said, “Mommy, it says, ‘Happy Birthday, Mommy.’ It’s not your birthday! It’s my birthday! This is so silly!”
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
When Pauline read the note, she noticed the message seemed like it was scribbled by a child. At that point, the thought of the woman selling the doll flashed through Pauline’s mind.
***
The next day, she returned to the flea market with the doll, and luckily, the woman’s stall was still there.
“Oh, I’m glad I found you here!” Pauline said. “I bought this doll yesterday, and I found a note inside…”
When the woman, Miriam, saw the note, her eyes welled up. “My daughter got this doll for me,” she said quietly. “She passed away two days before my birthday…My husband and I, oh, I’m sorry…” The woman covered her face as her tears started to flow.
“I’m really sorry for your loss,” Pauline said apologetically. “I had no idea. I know I can’t take away your pain, but if it helps, I can give you a hug.”
“Oh, thank you…” Miriam said. Pauline gave her a warm hug, after which Miriam revealed her sad story, which brought tears to Pauline’s eyes.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
“My little daughter was diagnosed with cancer,” Miriam said. “We needed money for her chemotherapy. My husband and I work at a factory. We didn’t have enough money to cover her hospital bills, so we set up a stall here to sell our old furniture and things we didn’t need.”
“But we couldn’t save our daughter…She—she left us too soon. We’re selling her toys because every time I look at them, it just makes me sad.”
“One night, when I held my baby girl’s hand, she asked me to be happy. She had said, ‘Mumma, when I’m gone, please remember me with a smile.’ So I decided to sell the toys. She had bought that doll, saying it would remind me of her. I’m sorry I feel like I’m oversharing with you, but my heart feels really relieved today. Thank you for listening to me.”
As Miriam finished, she broke down into tears again. Pauline consoled her, and the two women talked about their lives for a while. Pauline told her how she’d been raising Eve by herself and invited her over to spend time with them.
“Eve will love to meet you,” she said. “And thank you so much for the doll. It made my daughter’s day. I’m sure your daughter is looking at you and smiling. Thank you again,” she added before she left.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
A few days later, Miriam visited Eve and Pauline at the trailer where they lived.
“This is in appreciation of your kind heart and patience in listening to me that day. I hope this helps you and Eve,” Miriam said, handing Pauline an envelope.
When Pauline opened it, she found a couple of dollar bills inside. $3000 in total. “Oh, Miriam, we can’t take this. This is a lot. No, no, this doesn’t feel right…”
“You can take it, Pauline,” Miriam insisted. “A mother’s heart knows how much it hurts when you can’t do enough for your child. We made this by selling the toys. Please keep it. If not for my sake, please keep it for Eve’s sake.”
Pauline cried. “Oh, Miriam, thank you. This will help us a lot. Thanks.”
From then on, Miriam and Pauline became friends, and Miriam loved and spoiled Eve too much. But the best part was that Pauline and Eve’s company helped Miriam heal and move on from her loss.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Pexels
What can we learn from this story?
- Help someone in need, and you’ll never regret it. Pauline and Miriam helped each other in whatever way they could. That helped Miriam overcome her grief, and Pauline and Eve found someone who cherished their company.
- Sometimes, the cause of someone’s smile is the source of another person’s grief. Sadly, the doll which made Eve happy on her birthday was a reminder of Miriam’s sad past.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
Leave a Reply