Fearing for their children’s futures, parents search for universal parenting techniques that will put their kids on the route to a prosperous job and a happy life. But times are changing, and the old principles of success are no longer relevant. Sometimes, parents’ actions, intended to be helpful, can actually create challenges for their children’s future.
1. Not allowing their kid to fail
Perfectionist parent often strives for perfection themselves, leading them to expect increasing levels of perfection from their child as they grow older — from the child’s artwork never being good enough to their bed not being made perfectly or not studying hard enough. The child faces constant criticism and reprimands but is never allowed to learn from their mistakes. Children of perfectionist parents may grow up to be perfectionists themselves or develop low self-esteem and lack confidence. Both outcomes can negatively impact their future careers.
- Anna’s mother always compared her to Mary, saying, “Look how tidy Mary is compared to you, Anna!” Despite Anna’s efforts to emulate Mary, she never measured up, and her mother’s criticism only intensified. Anna’s mother never allowed her the chance to improve her habits and learn basic skills. Now at 25 years old, Anna still compares herself to others and always comes up short in her own eyes. Needless to say, this constant comparison has taken a toll on her self-esteem.
2. Paying a child for good grades
This topic remains a subject of debate, but consider this perspective: imagine yourself as a contractor continually paying more for a product or service, with the child as the supplier providing it in exchange for money or rewards. It doesn’t sound like a good idea, does it?
- Alexandra’s parents sought to motivate their daughter to excel in her studies by offering money as an incentive. Initially, Alexandra’s grades improved, suggesting the approach was effective. However, her parents later discovered that she had been fabricating stories about an imaginary illness and sharing them with her teachers. She even falsely claimed that her parents constantly criticized her for poor grades. The sympathetic teacher then raised Alexandra’s grades out of pity. Following this incident, Alexandra’s parents discontinued the practice of paying for grades and sought guidance from a child psychologist.
3. Preventing their child from expressing their feelings
Sometimes, adults dismiss a child’s feelings as wrong — insisting that bruises don’t hurt, feeling anger toward a child who hit them is shameful, or being sad even with a valid reason is incorrect. Parents often do this with good intentions, wanting to teach their children proper behavior. However, it’s crucial to recognize that a fundamental skill for modern individuals is the ability to acknowledge and manage their feelings, emotions, and needs.
- Kate, now 37, vividly remembers how her mother forced her to give away her beloved doll to another girl, admonishing her for being “greedy” and scolding her for getting upset over a “stupid toy.” Kate never got her doll back. Over the years, she has worked hard to assert herself, learning to say “no” to demanding people, including her boss and coworkers. Despite this, Kate often feels guilty whenever she refuses to comply with their requests.
4. Failing to support their child in front of strangers
Every child needs the assurance that their parents will stand up for them in any conflict, regardless of the situation, and won’t blindly trust the words of authority figures like teachers, principals, or neighbors. When parents allow their children to speak up for themselves when they are ready to take responsibility for their actions, it helps them develop healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal accountability.
- Maggy was raised by her grandmother, who often said, “But what will other people think?” Although her grandmother loved Maggy and wanted the best for her, she constantly emphasized the importance of public opinion. As a result, Maggy struggles to make her own decisions and even relies on her friends’ opinions when choosing something as simple as dessert.
5. Drawing inspiration and comparing to successful people
Each generation has its own set of heroes whom young people aspire to emulate. In recent decades, the tales of personal success from wealthy and influential individuals have become widespread. However, it’s not as simple as learning their life story and achieving happiness. If it were that easy, everyone who reads their books would have solved all their financial problems by now.
- Alex developed a passion for computers from a young age. Inspired by the story of Steve Jobs that his dad shared with him, Alex immersed himself in learning everything about Apple. When it came time to choose a university, Alex initially believed he didn’t need higher education because Steve Jobs succeeded without it. Eventually, Alex realized the importance of education for his path and pursued college to advance his career. Now, Alex jokes, “What worked for Steve Jobs is just a waste of time for an ordinary guy like me.”
6. Pressuring their child to decide on their future career
The notion that a person should stick to one career for their entire life is likely outdated and impractical. Many modern occupations didn’t exist a decade ago, while others have already become obsolete.
- Since childhood, Max had a passion for exploring computers and understanding various software programs. Despite his parents’ concerns, he pursued this interest and eventually discovered online courses in software testing. Now, he is thriving in this field, leveraging his potential and skills.
- Laura, at 37, worked as a sociologist for a major consulting firm but found it challenging to maintain her career after having her son. During maternity leave, she rediscovered her love for photography. Starting with unique photos of her child, Laura progressed to offering photoshoots for friends’ and acquaintances’ kids. Over time, she opened her photo studio. Laura now earns as much as her husband and successfully manages her professional life while caring for her family. This shift exemplifies the evolving nature of careers and the importance of embracing new opportunities.
7. Arguing about money
Since children may absorb long-lasting messages from these circumstances, it’s crucial to avoid arguing about money or other matters in front of them. Instead of one-on-one conflicts, which can cause youngsters to take sides and become distressed, talks should be led in a way that promotes involvement.
- Chris grew up witnessing his parents argue about money. When he went to college at 17 and moved away, he struggled with managing his finances and spending on unnecessary items. He now fears starting relationships, believing that money is the root cause of his sadness.
8. Prohibiting the child from using social networks
Social networks have become today’s equivalent of the yards and neighborhoods where we used to play as children. Kids can learn valuable skills through computer programs integrated with social media platforms. While parents should remind their kids about online safety rules, depriving children of this experience can be harsh.
- Aria’s mother was surprised to discover that her 10-year-old daughter had learned to create cool videos. Even more surprising was the realization that Aria had learned this skill from using TikTok. Now, creating short videos has become a family hobby for them.
9. Teaching the kid that they have the stuff at home
Many of us recall times when we asked our parents to buy us things, only to hear, “We already have that at home; we don’t need it.” Some parents repeatedly expose their children to such situations, unintentionally discouraging them from getting what they truly need. This pattern can significantly impact their financial habits as adults. On the other hand, constantly satisfying a child’s every need can also have negative effects.
- Jan’s mother often tells him they have things at home and they don’t buy them from the store. Jan has learned to overlook his needs, and with each subsequent request, he withdraws more, knowing not to ask. When Jan grows up and earns his income, money will go towards trivial things because that’s how he’s learned to live.
10. Preventing children from getting into conflicts
The ability to engage with others is perhaps one of the most crucial professional skills one can possess. It’s important not only to help children make friends but also to teach them how to engage in healthy arguments. People often hold differing opinions, and there are various ways to express emotions. The sooner children grasp this concept, the easier their interactions with others will be, including in professional settings.
- Michaela spent her life avoiding conflicts, preferring to agree with others rather than engage in disputes. She believed that someone always had to be the “smarter” one, but this approach proved more harmful than beneficial. One day, Michaela learned about active listening and decided to apply this approach in her professional life. She excelled at paying attention to others’ perspectives while also expressing her feelings when others attempted to take advantage of her. Initially, people found her communication style unconventional, but conflicts with coworkers became more constructive, leading to mutually beneficial resolutions.
11. Helping their child learn to save money
The world is always changing, and old ways of making or saving money might not work anymore. We can’t predict what skills will be valuable in the future economy. That’s why it’s important to teach kids to be flexible and ready for change, not just to save money.
- Emily’s grandfather saved money his whole life “just in case.” But when that “case” finally happened, a financial meltdown made all his investments lose value. Emily saw this while growing up, and now she’s worried the economy could collapse at any time. She believes the best investment is in her skills and knowledge.
12. Trying to build a strong character with the help of sports
While there’s a widespread belief that sports are beneficial for discipline and character development, excessive competitiveness in professional sports can be detrimental to a child’s physical and mental health. This competitiveness can be fueled by both fellow young athletes and coaches. Only a few individuals become champions, and coaches often prioritize these select few, neglecting the rest of the team. Coping with this unfair treatment at a young age can lead to low self-esteem and confusion about alternative life paths if a child must stop playing sports.
- Tom’s mother pursued rhythmic gymnastics as a child but had to abandon her Olympic dreams due to a leg injury. When Tom was three, his mother enrolled him in gymnastics classes, hoping he would excel. However, Tom struggled in this sport, leading him to lose interest in school, feel like a failure, and struggle to identify his strengths. Now, Tom is studying to become a child psychologist to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children without making the same mistakes.
Being protective of your children is natural, but it’s important to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy is crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship and their personal development. Violating their privacy can have serious negative effects, especially on their mental health.
My Kids’ Grandmom Came to Our Home, Packed the Christmas Presents She Gave Them & Took Them Away
When Rebecca’s mother-in-law, Darlene, goes home to take away her grandchildren’s Christmas presents, she’s left absolutely speechless. Later, she and her husband, Mark, learn that Darlene did this because she wanted to teach the couple a lesson… but karma intervenes, making sure that the old woman feels the same way the kids felt.
I never thought that this would be a story I’d tell. I mean, toxic in-laws are practically their own genre, but what my mother-in-law, Darlene, did this Christmas left me completely speechless.
Honestly, I’m still in shock.
A woman looking to the side | Source: Midjourney
I’m Rebecca, a mom of three chaotic kids. There’s Caleb (7), Sadie (5), and little Mason (3). Christmas is a huge deal in our house and has been like this since I was a child. We go all out.
The tree, the decorations, and of course, the gifts. Usually, Darlene shows up with her arms full of presents for the kids, playing the part of the doting grandma for one day a year.
This time, though, Darlene really outdid herself. Caleb got the new LEGO set that he had been begging for, and Sadie’s eyes lit up over a princess castle playset. Mason, the little speed demon of the family, zoomed through the living room on an adorable ride-on toy.
A castle made out of LEGO blocks | Source: Midjourney
She even threw in stylish clothes for all three kids.
“They need to be photo-ready, Becca,” she told me. “And this way, they all match!”
It was… impressive. I’ll admit it freely.
The kids were ecstatic. They loved being the center of attention, and they played nonstop, showing off their gifts and parading around in their new clothes.
Three little kids | Source: Midjourney
I thought that maybe this was the year. This was the year that Darlene and I would finally hit a smooth patch in our relationship.
Spoiler alert: I was so wrong.
Two days after Christmas, the house was still glowing with holiday cheer. It wasn’t anything new—we usually kept the decorations up until a few days before New Year’s Eve. My kids were in their element, surrounded by the toys they loved.
I even sent Darlene a text, thanking her for the thoughtful presents.
A woman texting | Source: Midjourney
Hi, Darlene! Thank you for spoiling the babies so much this Christmas. You’re appreciated!
Then, the doorbell rang.
“Mom, will you get it?” Caleb asked, dangling a bunch of grapes above Mason’s head.
“On it,” I said. “Just watch that your brother doesn’t choke on a grape, okay?”
I opened the door to find Darlene standing there, gripping three large empty bags. Her face was bright red, and she looked ready to explode.
A little boy holding a bunch of grapes | Source: Midjourney
“Darlene, hi!” I said. “What’s going on?”
She didn’t say a word. She just marched right past me into the living room, where the kids were now playing with Sadie’s castle.
I stood frozen as she immediately began to scoop Caleb’s LEGO blocks into one of the bags. The ride-on toy was kicked to the side. And then Sadie’s castle went next.
An upset older woman | Source: Midjourney
“Where are the clothes I bought you?” she barked at Caleb.
“In the washing, Grandma,” he said.
“Bring it, now,” she shouted.
I was too shocked to retaliate.
Caleb ran to the bathroom and back with the clothes in his arms.
A washing basket | Source: Midjourney
“Grandma, what are you doing?” Caleb asked, his voice trembling.
Sadie’s lip quivered as she clutched her princess doll.
“Mommy, why is Grandma taking our things?” she asked.
I didn’t have an answer. I just stood there, my mind spinning, trying to process what I was witnessing.
An upset little girl | Source: Midjourney
But it was when Darlene picked up the ride-on toy, preventing Mason from getting onto it, that really set me off.
“Darlene, what the hell are you doing?” I demanded, finding my voice at last.
She didn’t even glance my way.
“You’ll regret what you did,” she muttered coldly, zipping the bags shut with finality.
An angry older woman | Source: Midjourney
And then, without another word, she stormed out, slamming the door behind her.
The kids were devastated. Caleb cried for hours, asking why Grandma was mad. Sadie sat on the floor, clutching a stuffed animal like her world had just ended. And poor Mason kept wandering around the house, looking for his toy.
“Where did the car go, Mommy?” he asked.
An upset little boy | Source: Midjourney
I tried to comfort my children, but honestly, I didn’t know what to say. What had we done to deserve this? Why would Darlene take back the gifts she’d so generously given just a few days earlier?
When my husband, Mark, got home from work, I told him everything.
“She did what?” Mark’s face went beet red as he pulled out his phone. “Oh, hell no. This is unacceptable.”
He called her immediately. There was no answer. He texted his mother. No replies.
A frowning woman | Source: Midjourney
“I don’t understand, Bec,” he said. “How could she be so cold to take their toys away? And their clothes, for God’s sake. I’m so confused.”
“Tell me about it,” I said. “I didn’t know how to react when she stormed around doing whatever she wanted. It was insanity. You should have seen their faces, Mark.”
Darlene had gone completely radio silent, leaving us in the dark about what had triggered this insane stunt.
A man holding his head | Source: Midjourney
Three days later, Mark finally got her on the phone.
I could tell from his side of the conversation that whatever she was saying was absurd. He kept rubbing his temples and muttering under his breath.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he sighed.
When he hung up, he looked at me with disbelief.
A man holding his head | Source: Midjourney
“You’ll never believe it,” he said.
“What? Believe what?” I asked.
“She’s mad about her Christmas gift,” he said.
“What?” I repeated.
A frowning woman | Source: Midjourney
“Apparently, she was expecting that expensive designer handbag she’s been hinting about all year. Instead, we got her a $250 gift card to her favorite store. It was unacceptable, according to her.”
I stared at my husband, completely lost for words.
“So, she took away the kids’ gifts because of that? What on earth is wrong with her?”
A store gift card | Source: Midjourney
Mark nodded slowly, still processing the absurdity himself.
“Yeah, she said that we disrespected her with the gift card and gave us a few days to make it right. Since we didn’t, she took the kids’ presents to teach us a lesson.”
I was floored.
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Mark,” I said.
A woman holding her head | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” he sighed again. “She took the kids’ Christmas gifts away over a damn handbag.”
We were furious, but we weren’t about to let Darlene’s tantrum ruin Christmas for our kids. That weekend, we dipped into our savings and bought replacements for the toys she took.
It wasn’t easy on our budget, but seeing the kids’ faces light up again made every penny worth it.
But Darlene?
Three smiling children | Source: Midjourney
Karma had other plans for the old woman.
A few days later, Mark’s cousin, Abby, called with some unexpected news.
I was in the kitchen, grilling chicken and vegetables for dinner, while Mark was going through Caleb’s holiday homework.
“Did you hear what your mom did?” she asked, practically choking with laughter.
A platter of grilled chicken and vegetables | Source: Midjourney
“Oh yeah,” Mark muttered. “We know all about her behavior. Why’s it funny to you?”
“Well, apparently, she’s been bragging to the family about how she taught you guys a lesson. But one of her friends, the one who’s super involved with that charity, found out.”
“Charity? Abby, what are you talking about?” Mark asked.
“Uh-oh,” I said, uncertain of where the conversation was going.
A woman talking on the phone and laughing | Source: Midjourney
“Yeah, so her friend was horrified at what Darlene did. The things that she took from the kids? She donated them to a charity. Dirty clothes and all! Word has spread fast, and now people are distancing themselves from her. Big time.”
Mark raised an eyebrow and looked at me.
“So, what? People are icing her out?”
Donation boxes at a charity shelter | Source: Midjourney
“They are, but that’s not the best part!” Abby said.
“Then what is the best part?” I asked.
“Oh, Becs,” she laughed. “Lovely Aunt Darlene has been uninvited from the New Year’s Eve gala. You know, the one she brags about all year? Her favorite event of the year? Yep. All gone!”
A man talking on a phone | Source: Midjourney
Mark and I exchanged glances. Darlene loved that gala more than anything. It was the ultimate social slap in the face. And she would have probably been planning her outfit since October.
Abby cut the call, still laughing to herself.
“She’s going to be so upset,” I said, slicing a lemon.
Lemons on a board | Source: Midjourney
“Serves her right,” my husband said. “She deserves this. She’s full of nonsense. And she donated the kids’ clothes just like that? She didn’t even wash it! What the hell, Becca?!”
“Let’s just have dinner with the kids and leave Darlene for the night,” I said.
A week later, Darlene called Mark, desperate for sympathy.
“They’ve all turned against me,” she sobbed. “I don’t understand what I did wrong!”
An upset older woman | Source: Midjourney
Mark didn’t miss a beat.
“Mom, you took all your grandkids’ Christmas presents because you didn’t get a handbag. Now you’re paying the price for being petty.”
She tried to apologize, but Mark wasn’t having it.
“If you want a relationship with my wife and children, you have a lot to make up for. And my kids are incredible. It’s your loss, Ma.”
Three smiling children | Source: Midjourney
In the end, we spoke to our children, explaining to them that their grandmother was angry with us, not them.
“She just wanted to teach Mom and me a lesson,” Mark said. “You guys did nothing wrong.”
“Are you sure?” Sadie asked, her lower lip jutting out.
A smiling man standing in a living room | Source: Midjourney
“Yes, I promise!” I said. “And this isn’t how we teach lessons. Dad and I will never take away something you love just to punish another person.”
“If we’re naughty, we get a timeout until we learn our lesson, right?” Caleb chimed in.
“Exactly, buddy,” Mark said. “Now, come on, let’s all get some ice cream cones.”
Ice cream cones | Source: Midjourney
That’s how one handbag led to a family falling out, a Christmas nearly ruined, and a grandmother learning the hard way that karma never misses.
And honestly? We’re in no rush to forgive.
Trust me, Darlene’s next holiday season won’t be quite as merry and bright.
A smiling woman | Source: Midjourney
What would you have done?
If you’ve enjoyed this story, here’s another one for you |
My Son Stays Quiet as His Wife Insults Me — But He Soon Teaches Her a Lesson in Front of Guests
Kate cannot wait to spend the holidays with her son and his wife. It’s her first Christmas with the family, and Kate needs to see how she fits. But when Liz criticizes her cooking, and John chooses silence over defending his mother, will the holidays be ruined?
Cooking was always my way of showing love. From the moment I got married, I became the “one who feeds everyone.” Every family dinner, every major holiday, especially Christmas, revolved around me in the kitchen, making meals from scratch.
It wasn’t just about the food. It was about creating something special that brought us together.
A smiling older woman | Source: Midjourney
But when Oliver, my husband, passed away a few years ago, the joy of cooking died with him.
Now, I only cook for myself, enough to get by. But Christmas is different. Christmas is when my son, John, comes home. He’s the reason I still dust off my old recipes, roll up my sleeves, and get to work in the kitchen.
His love for my Christmas dinners has always been special to me. A kind of pride, I guess. This year, though, something was different.
A smiling older man | Source: Midjourney
And not in a good way.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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