Get ready to ho-ho-howl with laughter! These 10 Christmas jokes are packed with holiday cheer and cheeky humor to keep your spirits bright. Whether you need a quick laugh or a joke to share at the holiday table, these festive funnies will surely bring everyone joy!
Ah, Christmas! The time of year when everything sparkles, people get a little more generous, and we all pretend fruitcake is something we look forward to eating.
A woman sitting at a table with a plate of fruitcake | Source: Pexels
The holiday season is full of cheer, and it’s also a great time for laughter. Whether you’re cozy by the fireplace or stuck at a family gathering looking for a way to break the ice, these jokes are sure to bring a smile.
So grab your hot cocoa, settle in, and get ready to chuckle with these festive funnies!
A Christmas Test at Heaven’s Gates
Three men find themselves at the pearly gates of heaven on Christmas Eve. Saint Peter meets them with a stern look and a challenge.
St. Peter standing at heaven’s gates | Source: Midjourney
“To get into heaven tonight, you each need to show me something that represents Christmas.”
The first man digs into his pockets, pulls out a match, and lights it. “This is a Christmas candle,” he says with a hopeful smile.
“Impressive,” Saint Peter says and waves him through.
A man holding a lit match | Source: Pexels
The second man reaches into his jacket and jangles a set of keys. “These are Christmas bells,” he grins.
Saint Peter nods, letting him pass.
Then, the third man steps up, pulling out a pair of red panties.
Puzzled, Saint Peter asks, “And what on earth do these have to do with Christmas?”
Women’s underwear | Source: Unsplash
The man smirks, “They’re Carol’s.”
If that joke didn’t light your Christmas candle, this next one might leave you laughing all the way to New Year’s Day. It’s a story of holiday hangovers, memory lapses, and a husband waking up to a Christmas surprise he definitely wasn’t expecting.
The Hungover Husband’s Christmas Surprise
Paul wakes up groggy and disoriented after his company’s Christmas party. He can barely remember how he got home, and his pounding headache isn’t helping.
A man sitting on the side of the bed | Source: Pexels
As he pries his eyes open, he notices a glass of water, two aspirin, and a single red rose on his nightstand. His clothes are neatly folded, and the room is spotless. In the bathroom, he notices he has a black eye, and his wife has left him a note on the mirror.
“Darling, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to pick up groceries for your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!”
In the kitchen, a full breakfast is waiting, and his son is already at the table.
A boy eating breakfast | Source: Midjourney
Paul asks his son, “What happened last night?”
“Well, you got home super late, totally drunk, and made a mess. You tripped over the coffee table, broke it, and smashed into the door, giving yourself that black eye.”
Confused, Paul stammers, “Then why is everything so perfect this morning?”
A confused man | Source: Midjourney
His son shrugs, “Oh, that’s easy. When Mum tried to take off your pants, you yelled, ‘Leave me alone! I’m married!’”
Let’s keep it going with a military twist on Christmas wishes. Sometimes, what you ask for isn’t exactly what you get, especially when you’re stationed away from home. This one’s for anyone who knows the struggles of life in uniform during the holidays.
The Soldier’s Christmas Wish
Two soldiers are in the mess hall chatting about past Christmas memories.
Two soldiers chatting | Source: Midjourney
“I’ll never forget that one Christmas,” the first soldier says. “I spent an entire week peeling potatoes.”
“What happened?” his friend asks.
“Well, the sergeant asked what I wanted for Christmas,” he recalls.
“And what did you ask for?”
A soldier | Source: Pexels
“A new sergeant,” the first soldier replies.
Ready for a joke that’s heaven-sent? This next story features a monk who spent years copying ancient texts, only to uncover a little mistake that could change everything. It’s a reminder that even the holiest of tasks can come with a hilarious twist!
The Monastic Misprint
A monk named David had spent years copying ancient religious texts by hand. He worked hard at his job and dedicated himself to upholding his vows to be obedient and celibate and free himself from the desire for possessions.
A devout monk working on religious texts | Source: Midjourney
One day, shortly before Christmas, the head abbot entrusted David with the task of verifying the original manuscripts had been copied and translated precisely, word-for-word.
On Christmas day, David was nowhere to be found. Eventually, the head abbot located him in the archives, crying uncontrollably.
“Brother David, what’s wrong?” the abbot asked.
“All this time… we’ve been copying it wrong,” David sobbed.
“Copying what wrong?” the abbot pressed.
A monk and an abbot looking at religious texts | Source: Midjourney
“The word wasn’t ‘celibate’… it was ‘celebrate’!”
If you thought that last one was divine, the next joke shows us that sometimes family drama isn’t what it appears to be.
The Holiday Season Break-up
The day before Christmas, a father in Brisbane calls his son in Sydney.
“Sorry to ruin your holiday,” the dad says, “but your mother and I are divorcing. I just can’t take it anymore.”
A man making a phone call | Source: Midjourney
Shocked, the son yells, “What? No, don’t do anything until I get there! I’m calling my sister.”
Moments later, the daughter phones her dad, furious. “You are NOT getting divorced! My brother and I will be there tomorrow. Don’t do a single thing!”
The father hangs up and turns to his wife.
A solemn man glancing to one side | Source: Midjourney
He grins widely and tells her, “Well, that’s our Christmas plans sorted. The kids are on their way and they’re paying for their own travel expenses!”
Let’s keep the laughs rolling with a little tale about early Christmas shopping. You know that feeling when you’re just a bit too eager to grab your gifts? Well, this next joke proves that timing is everything — even when it comes to snagging those holiday deals earlier than expected.
The Early Christmas Shopper
A man stands trial during the Christmas season. The judge asks the defendant, “Mr. Jones, what exactly are you accused of doing?”
A judge in a courtroom | Source: Midjourney
“Your honor, I was just doing my Christmas shopping early,” the man says innocently.
“There’s nothing illegal about that,” the judge replies. “What time did you start?”
“Before the store opened.”
A somber man | Source: Midjourney
Time for a trip to the airport, where holiday cheer meets travel stress in the best way possible. Even if you’re not a fan of mistletoe, this next joke might make you look twice before checking in your bags this Christmas season.
Airport Mistletoe Mishap
Dave wasn’t feeling the holiday spirit as he waited at the airport just before Christmas. He noticed some mistletoe hanging above the luggage scale.
Mistletoe at the airport | Source: Midjourney
Annoyed, he told the airline attendant, “Even if we were dating, I wouldn’t kiss you under such tacky mistletoe.”
The attendant smirked, “Sir, that mistletoe isn’t for you to kiss me. It’s there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye.”
Hold onto your Santa hats because this next joke features a kid with a very “creative” approach to getting his Christmas wishes granted.
Man talking to airline attendant at the luggage area | Source: Midjourney
When it comes to writing letters to Santa (or Jesus), this boy takes negotiation tactics to a whole new level.
The Kid’s Christmas Bargain
A little boy starts writing his Christmas letter to Santa, but his mom interrupts him.
“You’ve been so naughty this year,” she scolds. “You’d better write that letter to Jesus instead.”
A child sitting at a table | Source: Midjourney
He thinks for a moment, then begins writing to Jesus, but quickly realizes he can’t lie about being good. Frustrated, he goes for a walk to clear his mind and spots a nativity scene.
Suddenly, he snatches the statue of Mary.
Returning home, he starts his new letter: “Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again…”
From a mischievous kid to a quick-witted teen, our next joke shows that sometimes biblical excuses can go hilariously wrong.
A Christmas nativity scene | Source: Pexels
It’s a classic case of trying to outsmart a parent — only to learn an unexpected lesson.
Long Hair, Don’t Care
After acing his exams and diligently studying the Bible, Danny asks his clergyman father if he can get a car for Christmas.
“You’ve done great with your studies,” his father says. “But I’m disappointed you haven’t cut your hair.”
A teen boy | Source: Midjourney
Danny smiles. “Dad, in the Bible, I noticed that Jesus, Moses, and Samson all had long hair.”
His father nods, “Yes, but did you also notice they walked everywhere?”
And now, let’s end on a high note with a husband who’s in for a surprise of his own while Christmas shopping.
A mall decorated for Christmas | Source: Pexels
Just when he thinks he’s found a sentimental moment, he gets a reality check guaranteed to leave you laughing out loud.
The Husband’s Christmas Misunderstanding
A couple is shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve when the husband realizes he’s lost his wife. Frantic, he calls her.
“Honey,” she says calmly, “do you remember the jewelry store where you saw that expensive watch you loved five years ago? The one I said I’d get you one day?”
A man speaking on his cell phone | Source: Midjourney
His eyes well up. “Yes, I remember.”
“Well,” she replies, “I’m in the lingerie store next to it.”
And there you have it — a sleigh of laughs to brighten your holiday season! Whether you share these jokes at a family dinner or use them to lighten the mood at a holiday party, they’re sure to spread some Christmas cheer.
People at a Christmas party | Source: Midjourney
After all, the best gifts are the ones that bring a smile. So go ahead, share the laughter, and enjoy a merry, jolly, joke-filled Christmas!
For many people, Christmas is a time for family, so keep the laughs coming with these jokes about family life.
Dad Takes Disabled Daughter to Prom, Finds $10K Check for ‘Dad of the Year’ in Mailbox Later — Story of the Day
A disabled girl who falls behind without a prom date is in for a surprise when her dad takes her to the prom. The reward he gets the next day in recognition of his love for his child transforms their lives.
“Molly, look! Your dad’s here!” someone from the funeral told the 17-year-old girl who was mourning over her mother Daisy’s coffin.
Danny, Molly’s dad, and her mom had divorced ten years ago. Since then, Molly had only heard terrible things about her father—like he was a ‘drunkard’ and such.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Though Molly didn’t have any bitterness towards Danny, she often missed their dad-daughter connection. But after her mom’s funeral, things were going to change for Molly…
“Hey, sweetheart!” Danny greeted his daughter and hugged her before placing a wreath on his ex-wife’s coffin.
“Sir, is that truck yours? It’s blocking half the parking. You mind moving it?” a guest asked Danny, who was a truck driver.
“Yeah, that’s ma truck. Gimme a second. I’ve just met ma daughter. Hope ya understand. Thank ya!”
Danny was delighted to meet Molly. The only link he had with her all these years was through the child support he paid for her. Daisy never allowed him to see Molly because she feared he would become a bad influence.
The funeral was over, and everybody left. Danny packed all of Molly’s stuff and told her they were going to his house.
“A parcel? Who sent it?” he wondered. A card on it read: “For Dad of the Year”
“But why, dad? I can’t leave this house. Mom and I lived here. It’s filled with our memories.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Pexels
Molly frowned because Danny wouldn’t listen. He knew he could not leave his daughter alone, particularly considering she often used a wheelchair when she didn’t need crutches. Due to an underlying condition she had developed in her left leg when she was six, Molly limped.
Two days later, Molly moved in with her dad. Though the house was compact and untidy, it comforted her and made her feel loved and included.
As days passed, Danny had difficulty doing things for Molly. Since he never saw her grow up, he did not know how to tackle most things, like braiding her hair, for example. He learned how to do it by watching online videos. But that was not all.
He vacated his bedroom so that Molly would have a nice space to sleep. He even bought a fluffy new bed so that she could rest well. Danny did everything on his end to make his daughter feel at home, but if there was something he kept a secret, it was his constant disappearance at night.
Molly had no idea where her dad had been going at night after she fell asleep. She could only guess he was loitering with his friends in the pub, just as her mother often told her.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
A few days later, Molly stepped down from the school bus and entered their home, crying. She found the door was locked. There was a note tucked behind a plant. “The keys are under the pot. I will be back soon. See ya! – Dad.”
Molly scowled and recalled her mother telling her about her dad’s ‘odd’ habits in the evenings. She frowned thinking her father was out drinking at four in the afternoon.
Hours passed, but Danny never returned home. Molly cooked herself pasta, leaving some for her dad. Then she lay on her bed crying.
“If only I was normal, I wouldn’t be the odd one out. I would have found a date for the prom.”
It turned out that Molly’s teacher had informed them about their upcoming senior prom. All her classmates had found prom dates except for Molly. Nobody was interested in taking her. She figured—who would want to dance with someone with a limp?
Molly cried so loudly that Danny heard her as soon as he arrived home.
“What happened, darling? Why are you crying?”
Molly told him about the prom. “I don’t have a date. I even asked some boys if one of them would at least dance with me during prom, but they refused and laughed. I don’t want to go to the prom, daddy! I want to be alone! Goodnight!”
Molly turned her back on Danny and pretended to sleep, tears soaking her pillow.
Danny couldn’t just leave his daughter in distress. The next day, he bought Molly a beautiful prom dress. And on prom day, Molly was in for a huge tear-jerking surprise. Her dad was taking her to prom.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
Senior students and their parents were flocking outside the hall when a loud screeching roar of an engine drew their attention.
Danny jumped down from the truck. He put a wheelchair on the lawn and helped Molly get out. He pushed the wheelchair on the red carpet as the gathering watched in amazement.
Danny hit the dance floor with his daughter as the music rolled. He lifted Molly and carried her around in circles, syncing with the melodious musical night. For a moment, Molly forgot that she had a disability and laughed her heart out as her dad kept swaying her in his arms.
“My dad is my real superhero. I love him more than anything else in this world. I feel blessed and proud to say I’m his daughter,” Molly cried to her friends after the dance.
Meanwhile, Danny became the show stealer. All the parents flocked around him to praise and applaud him. Danny then shared a bit about himself and his daughter, knowing little about how that evening would soon change their lives.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
Danny and Molly returned home, talking about the fun they had. Then Danny put Molly to sleep in her bedroom and silently crept out of the house.
It turned out Danny had been working a second job as a caregiver at a local nursing home. Besides his part-time day gig as a truck driver, he worked overtime to save money for his daughter’s treatment. When Molly’s disability was diagnosed years ago, many told Danny and Daisy that she would never be able to walk.
But one doctor had assured them he would treat the girl and restore her ability to walk. So Danny quit partying in pubs with his friends and started working two jobs.
Daisy had misunderstood him and thought he was wasting his time at the pub. Danny tried explaining to her, but she never trusted him. Her constant doubts and heated arguments led to their split shortly after. Danny never bothered because he was only focused on saving money for Molly’s surgery and worked hard for the next several years.
It pained Danny whenever he recalled his past. Even that night, while driving to work, he could not shake his thoughts off the terrible things his ex-wife told him. He finished his shift and returned home, unprepared for the surprise that awaited him and Molly.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
That morning, when he returned home from work, Danny was in for a sweet surprise when he found a package in his mailbox.
“A parcel?? Who sent it?” he wondered. A card on it read: “Dad of the Year!”
Inside, Danny found a check for $10,000 and another note:
“Dear Danny, we hope this will improve your daughter’s life. Good luck with her surgery, and we hope you spend more time with her in the evenings. Best Wishes, Your Prom Buddies!”
Danny realized the parents he’d met the previous night were behind this. He shed tears of joy and shared the good news with Molly.
“Really?! My God, daddy…This is unbelievable!” She laughed and cried on his shoulders.
With the money Danny had saved and the $10,000 check, Molly got her surgery. It was successful, and gradually, she was able to walk without crutches.
Meanwhile, Danny quit his second job to spend more time with his daughter. She earned a scholarship to study architecture in another state and was set to leave in three months.
Danny wanted to make the best use of the available time he had with Molly. He taught her to cook, dance, cycle, and even run. He just wanted his daughter to live a normal life and never look back to the days when she was using a wheelchair and crutches.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
What can we learn from this story?
- There is no stronger love in the world than a parent’s love. Danny walked the extra mile to help his daughter walk. He worked two jobs to save money for her surgery and even took her to prom when she did not have a date.
- A father is always a superhero to their children. Even when everybody told Danny his daughter could never walk again, he did not lose hope and worked towards making her walk again. He was her true superhero and inspiration for life.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
A one-handed boy makes broth for his late friend’s sick grandma despite facing difficulties. One day, the older woman returns his kindness in the most unexpected way.
This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
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